It's Just a Phone Call...

We had two parties to attend this weekend - two different parties, two different kids. One at a home, one at the gymnastics place. As usual, I was later than I had planned with the RSVP, but I did call. I always call - it's a promise I made to myself years ago.

Party A was the home party. There were lots of people there, adults and kids, and Stephen had a blast! Here he is doing the limbo:


Look at that tongue sticking out! What concentration! He does a mean limbo!

But notice the people around him. Adults, a big kid, little kids. Where are the first graders? That's right, the birthday girl is in the picture, but other than that - out of 22 kids in the class - Stephen was the only kid to show up. I was the only parent to call!

I was sitting talking to the girl's Grandma, who was hosting the party (she was my age! I couldn't decide if that was sad or funny!). She wished some more kids from class had come. The other kids at the party were cousins or neighbors, and a friend from a different class. The girl noticed, but it didn't seem to ruin the party for her. But the adults were bummed.

At Party B, there were also plenty of kids, but only 2 from the classroom. Makes sense. After all these years I can definitely tell you that there are more people at "cool place" parties than at home parties. As often happens, I was told (unsolicited) that I was one of the few to call.

We've had this problem at our own parties. It was especially bad for the triplets, who shared a party, put out the same number of invites, and had varying numbers of guests show up. But the worst was not knowing. I had to prepare 60 goody bags - just in case. With 45 left over - let's just say I could have put a lot more into a few goody bags if I had only KNOWN.

Here's the worst example:

There was a party at Chuck E Cheese last year. This poor Mom had reserved the party package, which required a minimum of 10 guests. Once again, I was the only one to call. So we got there and they were sitting at a regular table. They had cancelled the party package and just ordered pizza and drinks and gave each child (mine, bday girl, 2 sibs and a neighbor) some tokens. Why pay for 10 guests if 5 show up?

You can probably guess what happened next...people started showing up...she ended up with 12 guests total. The Kid was happy; the parents, not so much. It cost more for them to do things this way than with the package deal. I remember well - she was pissed! She even said "I am NOT buying tokens for anyone who didn't call!" But of course she did. It's not the kid's fault. The kids had a blast, the Mom was bitter and upset, and I don't blame her. One parent actually said "sorry I didn't call, I thought we had plans". Ugh, nothing like being told flat out you were last choice, and anyway whatever happened to calling in your regrets?!

After our own party this year - we reserved the pavilion at the park, which we certainly would not have needed for only 8 kids - I was happy at the thought of having separate parties from now on. A movie date - a sleepover - whatever; a few guests each, we will call each parent individually and even offer rides! Our day of whole class parties is over, thank goodness. But I will always call - no matter what. It's only a little phone call, and it really makes a difference. Think of your own child - their birthday party is a HUGE deal. It's their day!! I don't know why it's such a big deal to call, but I understand the big deal of planning a party that no one cares about unless nothing better comes along!