Thursday, September 30, 2010

God Initiates Massive Recall

WASHINGTON – God is recalling more than 10 million items over safety concerns.

The Consumer Product Safety Commission said Thursday that several of the products being recalled involved injuries.

In the recall of about 7 million sticks, the agency is aware of 10 reports of children being hurt. Six of them required medical attention.

The sticks — some of which which feature popular decorations like leaves and twigs — have a protruding end that children can strike, sit on or fall on, leading to injuries that the commission said can include genital bleeding.

God is also recalling more than 1 million pairs of legs, after 14 reports of problems. Seven children required stitches, the commission said.

The legs are designed to walk and run freely, but children can fall, resulting in cuts and other injuries.

CPSC Chairman said God needs to do more to build safety into his products before they are released to the public. But she also offered praise to God for "taking the right steps by agreeing to these recalls and offering consumers free repairs or replacement."

The two other God recalls were:

_More than 2.8 million tons of fresh air (too much can be damaging), several sizes of river rocks (these can be misused by throwing at people, or tripped over causing injury), dirt (if thrown can get in someone's eye), the oceans (drowning hazard), and anything anyone finds to be fun. Anything can pose untold hazards to children, said CPSC. The agency said there were more than 50 reports of fun things causing harm.

_About 100,000 Fisher-Price Little People Wheelies Stand 'n Play Rampway toys. The wheels on the purple and green cars can come off, posing a choking hazard.

Consumers can visit the God's website for more information on the dates of sale and model numbers for the recalled products, or they may simply choose to pay more attention to their children, teach them right from wrong and learn how to use a band-aid.


OK, the last one was serious, as anything marketed for under age 3 should not pose a choking hazard. The actual article can be found here.

I read that this morning and it mostly made me shake my head and go HUH? Look, I really am sorry if your kid got hurt. Kiss the bobo and apply a band-aid, and move on to the next thing! If you expect your kid to fall and NEVER get hurt, you are in for a big surprise! Why not just bubble wrap the poor kid and get it over with?

If we were talking sharp points on a toy that would be different. I have had 5 of those very trikes and I know what that key looks like. Sure, it might hurt someone who fell on it "just right". How the heck does a kid fall on it to cause "genital bleeding" anyway? But the bigger question is - out of 7 million trikes in this recall alone, is TEN injuries really worth a recall? SIX of them "required medical attention" - what does that mean, exactly? Is it a band-aid, or a rush to the emergency room in an ambulance? How many of those were genital bleeders? What were the kids doing with/on the trikes when they were injured? These are the things I would like to know. I think we have a right to know! To be honest, though, six rushes to the emergency room would still not justify a recall in my mind. I can also guarantee you that if my children were still using those trikes, they would keep right on using them.

It is a fact that KIDS FALL. Sometimes kids fall when there is something in front of them and they might GET HURT, whether or not the item is actually"dangerous" or not. I have news for people - getting injured by something does not mean the item itself is inherently dangerous. If I trip on my rug and get rug burn do we recall the rug? How about the piece of paper left on the floor and I slipped and twisted my knee on it, which put me in serious pain for weeks?

"Massive recall of printer paper! Please return all such paper to the place of purchase immediately. When left on the floor, this paper poses a severe slipping/knee twisting hazard which may require medical attention or at the very least lots of Advil. Do not delay your return of this very dangerous item which has also been implicated in several reports of paper cuts!"

Another newsflash - LIFE is dangerous. Life actually has a 100% mortality rate.

Truly dangerous products are another matter and I do not intend to make light of those or any injury stemming from them. We have just gotten so ridiculous about these things that it's really hard to take most of the seriously anymore.

Check out this page of actual product warnings. Are all of them real? I have no idea. But I have seen enough for myself to know that they're out there!

How about if we use some common sense (which is actually not so common), learn to use band-aids, supervise our kids, and teach them not to jump onto their tricycle from the dining room table with no underpants on. Then we worry about recalling the TRULY dangerous products and moving on with our lives.

Watch this video