Saturday, October 1, 2011

I only get one wish?

LOL! John found this somewhere and sent it to me. I think next time I see this posted I will answer something like this.

I believe many people don't really think before re-posting something that looks good at first glance. I would like to see this meme go away and never come back. I have never commented when someone has posted it, because I believe they mean well and I don't want to offend them, but I am so tired of seeing it lately that I'm about to start.

My first impression on that meme is that it's pretty nervy for anyone to presume to speak for an entire group of people. Period. Remember, at the time I had not been diagnosed. I suppose at first I thought that someone without cancer had no business speaking for someone with cancer. I still feel that way. But I also feel that no one should speak for anyone. I especially feel that way now. Even now that I am "a person who has cancer" I still won't speak for all of us.

Basically if you are "a person who has cancer" and you agree with that meme, then more power to you! Speak for yourself - don't speak for me! Sure, I want to survive. More than that I want to LIVE. Can you even begin to understand the difference? I have lots and lots of wishes, and while survival is certainly one of them, it is not even anywhere close to the highest one on the list. Cancer is not the only thing in my life and it isn't even the biggest. It's just a part of life right now. You do what you need to do and go on with life.

This is one of my favorite Bible verses. Denise, remember this one?
Matthew 6:34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Trust me, it's relevant to this post.

I would really like to rewrite that meme, specify that it's written by ME and say how *I* feel and that people should speak for themselves and not just copy and paste. LOL, I bet it would be viral in no time. :P

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Something to Think About.

That stupid cancer meme is going around on Facebook again. When I say "stupid cancer meme" I mean the meme itself is stupid, not "stupid cancer" like it says (although I am not at all opposed to calling cancer stupid).

If you haven't seen it, it goes something like this:
Stupid cancer. We all want a new car, a new phone. A person who has cancer only wants one thing... to survive. I know that a lot of you "who think you're too cool" probably won't re-post this. But a very little amount of my friends will. Put this on your wall in honor of someone who died of cancer, survived, or who is fighting against it now.
I have a lot to say about this stupid little bit. At first glance it looks fine, right? I mean, no one likes cancer, right?

I have disliked this piece ever since the first time I saw it. For the record, I dislike every one of these things that try to guilt you into re-posting it. For that reason I hardly ever re-post anything at all, and then only if it doesn't have a guilt trip attached to it. So it's really not that I "think I'm too cool". Insert eyeroll here.

But I've hated this one since the first time I saw it, which happens to be way before my own diagnosis. Can you figure out why? Really, before I go on, I would like you to try. Read it over, and let me know what you think. If you think I'm wrong, that's OK. Let me hear it.

Friday, September 9, 2011

Checking in

I'm sorry I've been away from this blog for so long. Part of it is that I'm on Facebook, and it's so easy to just put up some pictures and a little update there. I miss really writing, though, so I am planning to get back to this.

Meanwhile, I've started a new blog. I didn't want to weigh this one down with cancer stuff and I thought it would be a good idea to write about the experience. I've been writing there since the very beginning, but just didn't give out the address. I guess I'm finally ready to give out that link, so if you're interested, click here. It's probably not that interesting, may contain TMI and more than a few rants, but it will let you know what's going on with me in that area, since I don't really plan to say much about that here!

I will say that I am doing very well and the treatment is much easier than I ever expected it to be. I am keeping up with the things in life that are important to me and best of all, keeping up with my awesome family! Thank you for all the prayers and please don't stop!

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Life and other Blah

Long story short - a a bit over a month ago, I found a lump, and life suddenly changed. They removed a cancerous breast tumor from my body (along with the accompanying breast). They tell me all the cancer is gone, for which I am really grateful. Since it was "the aggressive type" of tumor, I must now undergo 6 months of chemotherapy and hormonal treatment to keep it from coming back. Without the treatment, there is a high chance it will come back. With, there is a very low chance.

I'm not really sure what I think of those odds. I mean, I had no risk factors for triplets, and I had no risk factors for breast cancer. I'm just lucky I guess! I wonder what the lady who thinks spontaneous triplets are better than the rest would think about spontaneous breast cancer? (LOL :) ) I'd rather not worry about odds, I guess, since they haven't seemed to apply to me yet!

I have had one treatment so far. I will get them every 3 weeks. I am supposed to feel somewhat normal in between. This is Day 5 and I am still waiting for that to happen. I feel "sortof" normal but I have severe brain fog. It really reminds me of my worst hangover. Any sort of noise is not really painful, but seriously IRRITATING. Guess what - it's summer and there are 6 children in the house, so quiet is not too likely to happen around here anytime soon! So as life often goes, I have to suck it up. What else can I do? Can't live with 'em, can't shoot 'em. *shrug*

We had to cancel our planned trip to Disney. I think the kids are more upset about that than anything else. Two summers ago we were caring for my dying father in our house and our vacation consisted of a day at the water park. Last summer we had a great trip to Branson and that will have to tide them over for another year.

My biggest fear when talking to the kids about this was that they would freak out. After all, their only mental image of cancer is watching first their Grandma, then their Grandad die in their bed in our house. I think we did a good job of explaining to them how this is different - different type of cancer, different set of circumstances plus my parents opted out of treatment. So we explained how the "medicine" would make me feel and came up with a plan for getting through the summer. They seem to be taking it very well. They are really being great about pitching in around the house. But they are still loud! Can't have everything!

I am very optimistic. I am a Christian and I truly believe that God knows how many days we have before we have ever had any. I trust God completely - but I won't lie, it's scary. I found out pretty quickly that it's true what they say - chemo sucks!! I thought I would get off easy when I felt pretty good the first couple of days. WRONG! The next 2 KICKED MY ASS. But now I am not too bad if I don't overdo it and if I try to ignore the massive-hangover feeling. I'm hoping to help out at Girl Scout Day Camp next week and various other events I had committed to for the summer. If I can't - no big whoop, there is always next year.

But that's another thing I angst over - the Mommy guilt feeling of letting everyone down. I know, it's not at all rational! But there it is.

So in closing I would like to say - when you close down this page, go do a self-breast-check. EVEN IF you are not at risk. EVEN IF you breast fed all your babies which is supposed to lower your risk even further. My tumor was not found at my regular checkup 6 months ago, and it was not seen in a mammogram, yet it was 2 cm when I found it. I had no reason to do a check. I "just happened" to do one. I believe with all my heart that God told me to do one. YMMV. :)

Then go hug your babies, please. Even if you're having a bad day. Life is short and life is precious. It could be a cancerous tumor or it could be a drunk driver or it could be anything. And let me tell you, life comes at you fast! You don't always get a warning...but I got one, and while I am not planning on going anywhere anytime soon, I am planning to make the most of my time from here on in - brain fog and all.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Party Invitations

Today one of the boys went to party for one of the boys in his class. It was one of those things where everyone in the class gets an invitation. It was not addressed to anyone. When this happens, as soon as they give them to me I write the guest's name on it so I can remember who is invited! LOL!

Every once in awhile the kid will tell me the others are invited too. I always tell them, I need to hear that from the Mom, and I will not call to ask (because I don't want to put them on the spot and feel obligated).

So of course we get to this party and the Mom says, oh, where are the others? UMM!! I called you to RSVP, I told you Triplet A will be there, if you wanted B and C there that was your cue! So I gave her a blank stare and said "theyr'e at home" and she says "oh you could have brought them". So they are sitting at home 30 miles away while their brother is playing laser tag.

I have taught them since Kindergarten, when they went to separate classrooms, to accept that they will be invited to different places and to be happy for each other. And they are! There were no tears about this party, but certainly a wistful regret. I have taught them well.

And I do not want parents thinking they are a package deal. This little vent is not about that. Just, if it's OK and expected that I bring all of them, you need to TELL me. I would be happy to! IF I know they are invited!

Damn, it's so hard being a decent guest these days.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011


I just read what is very likely one of THE most disturbing articles I have ever seen. This link will give the basics and has a link to the actual article on Huffington Post.

Susan G. Komen Foundation should be ashamed of themselves!! I seriously hope there is such a thing as karma because I really want it to turn around and bite them in the ass. Speaking of boobs! Indeed!!

I am proud to say I have never given one red cent to Komen other than the odd product I may have been purchasing anyway that had a pink ribbon on it. My reason for not giving was mostly that after watching my parents die from cancer, I have absolutely no confidence in "acceptable" treatment methods over alternative. When they died, we asked for donations to alternative research and Hospice, not to any traditional cancer places (which is what they would have wanted). It's not that I am against standard treatment, and God forbid should I ever have to make the choice I don't know what I would choose. But I have seen enough that I have consciously not given any donations.

From now on, if a product I was planning to buy anyway happens to have a pink ribbon on it, I will make the fully CONSCIOUS decision to NOT buy it. I will also make the conscious effort to get the word out so that others can make informed choices!

I have also been leery of ALL the pink and the products and such. Why breast cancer over all other kinds? I don't know why I was leery, but I just was. And there is NO shortage of breast cancer in my family. It is definitely in my best interests to find a cure. And yet I was leery and consciously NOT donating.

Now I am SO glad I didn't. Why would anyone continue to donate money to them now? If I give to them my donation will go towards threatening another legitimate case and also take money from them! If I give to one of the small charities my money will apparently need to go for either defending the lawsuit, or them having to buy all new stuff in order to comply! This is one of the most despicable things I have ever seen!

SHAME ON YOU Susan G Komen Foundation!!

Edited to add:

This is a link to a site called "Charity Navigator". Please click the link on that page to read the comments, which go back farther than the HuffPost article.

Here is a link to SGK's Wikipedia page that dates these events as far back as August, 2010. There is no link to the WSJ article so I will look for that.

In the interest of fairness, here is a "response" from the SGK Facebook page:

Personally, in light of what else I've read I find this to be very insulting.

Also, this is a post made on the SGK Facebook page that I would like to share. I edited out the woman's name.

Post #1
My name is (edited), and I participated in the Breast Cancer 3 Day, in Seattle WA, September, 2009. It was a great experience and I met some wonderful people. The volunteers at the event were first rate. It was a grueling task, which affected my body for months afterward i.e., aches and pains, blisters, plantar fascitis, but I thought it was for a good cause, so I rarely complained, figuring it was a small sacrifice for a good deed.

Imagine my shock (when I was watching The Colbert Report of all shows), to discover that approximately one million dollars a year, of donor dollars, goes to suing various Mom and Pop charities in order to retain some morbid ideal of owning the phrase 'for a cure' or 'for the cure.' Shame on you. I've read your canned response, which implies that people are too stupid to know what charity they are donating to. I've donated to a lot of charities, some with the words 'for the cure,' knowing that I was not donating to Susan Komen. Believe it or not, SKFTC is not the only charity people want to donate to. You have insulted and embarassed not only donors, but people like me, who have raised dollars for your cause. Never again will I participate in your events or donate to
your foundation, and I would imagine that I'm not alone. Talk about cutting off your nose to spite your face.

My daughter's grandmother and my good friend is fighting terminal breast cancer, and I walked the 3 day in her honor. This is what infuriates me the most. The blood, sweat, and tears, pushing myself so hard as an ode to a very brave lady, who was so proud of me for doing this in her honor. If she finds out about this, it is going to take away some of the 'shine' from her experience. To add insult to injury, she and her husband donated $50 to your foundation, when I walked the 3 Day. How does that make you feel? Taking money from a hardworking farm wife with terminal breast cancer, when 17% of that $50 goes to cover your administrative costs and so that you can bully defenseless charities? (I've come across that 17% figure as I've looked into this law suit issue) Unbelievable.

In closing, I raised the required $2,300 from friends, family, neighbors, and businesses, 100% of that went to Komen. I am a single mom, a registered nurse from Montana, and I could barely afford to make the trip to Seattle. My donors, as well as millions of other donors, are fighting this recession along with everyone else. To spend even one red cent of their hard earned dollars on lawsuits is a travesty. I feel like apologizing to every one of my donors for your terrible ethics. I think that the only way to save your face is to apologize to the public and small charities, and put a stop to the lawsuits, and while you're at it, spend a little less on salaried employees and spend a little more on breast cancer research. I know that you have done a lot of good in the fight against breast cancer, but this time, you have completely crossed the line. Perhaps the phrase 'all good things must come to an end' applies here.


Post #2
Sorry for the long post, but this is what I emailed to Komen, and I hope some people take the time to read it here. Please continue to donate to breast cancer causes, but really look at where the money is can donate to research directly or donate to local causes, too. Thank you.

Post #3
Actually, I screwed up in my earlier post...I've read that only 17% goes to breast cancer research, while the other 83% goes to administrative costs. If this information is wrong, I hope SGKFTC corrects me.