Every once in awhile the kid will tell me the others are invited too. I always tell them, I need to hear that from the Mom, and I will not call to ask (because I don't want to put them on the spot and feel obligated).
So of course we get to this party and the Mom says, oh, where are the others? UMM!! I called you to RSVP, I told you Triplet A will be there, if you wanted B and C there that was your cue! So I gave her a blank stare and said "theyr'e at home" and she says "oh you could have brought them". So they are sitting at home 30 miles away while their brother is playing laser tag.
I have taught them since Kindergarten, when they went to separate classrooms, to accept that they will be invited to different places and to be happy for each other. And they are! There were no tears about this party, but certainly a wistful regret. I have taught them well.
And I do not want parents thinking they are a package deal. This little vent is not about that. Just, if it's OK and expected that I bring all of them, you need to TELL me. I would be happy to! IF I know they are invited!
Damn, it's so hard being a decent guest these days.