Just Say Charge It

You might get a kick out of this one. See, it's not just the government screwing things up. My parents had a ton of credit cards, most in both names. There was ONE card, a Chase visa, that was only in Mom's name. For some reason THAT is the one Dad liked to use, even though he had a ton of others, who knows why? He decided to not only not cancel that one, but to have it changed to MY name so I could use it to buy his supplies with. So he called them and they did it. It was now in the name of "Estate of XXX" but had my name on the card. As far as I know, they didn't give him any problem about doing that. He asked if it were possible; they said sure. Seems to me that just saying NO right here would have solved a lot of things. I certainly wouldn't be writing this post if they had!

When I called to activate it they did give me some trouble, because it confused them it was in the name of an "estate". I got transferred around a bunch of times. I even told Dad, let's just get a NEW card, or I use one of mine only for you and you pay it? No, he wanted THIS one, and after all they did OK it. At this point I was wondering WHY they had approved it in the first place? How much trouble was this really worth? But if you knew my Dad you know there was NO changing his mind, so this was it.

So I used it for about 5 months. Regularly. Now Dad keeps money in his account, and pays everything in full every month; he even arranged to have this bill automatically paid in full every month so we didn't have to worry about it. "Why not use a debit card?" I asked. Made sense to me. But Dad didn't trust those new-fangled debit cards. Again, I don't know why...he just didn't. I nev er did quite figure him out. I just rolled with it, you know?

After all those months of using it regularly and paying it in full every month well before the due date I tried to use it and it was declined. I knew the bill was paid so when I got home I called and they said "oh that, we cancelled that because your Mom died." Hmmm.....k.

Well, yes. That's why it was changed to the "estate of". "Yes ma'am, but she died so we had to close it".

Remember they KNEW she died and they agreed to do what they did. It's in the name of THE ESTATE, for crying out loud! Normally that means they died, so, yeah! No one held a gun to their head or even asked for special favors. He asked, they agreed and it was done.

A week AFTER it was cancelled I got a letter congratulating me for signing up for the auto bill feature. Which had been signed up for, and had been used, for the past 5 months.....

That SAME DAY I got a letter saying good news, your Mom's card has been cancelled because she died, aren't you happy with our security features that allowed us to do this? Don't worry, you won't be responsible for her balance! Woohoo!!! Hmm, should I have then doubted the auto-pay feature? Ahh, hindsight.

The very NEXT day I got a bill for the balance (which was no longer on auto-pay - why, I don't know, I certainly never asked for that to be cancelled, I guess that came along with cancelling the card) and it was due like in TWO days saying pay this now to avoid extra fees. It was two months worth, since they had apparently shut off that pesky autopay thing 2 months before they sent me the letter congratulating me on signing up for it. Are you keeping up with me here? Oh -- and they specifically said that due to the unfortunate loss of my Mom they would not add finance charges at this time (what I read into that was, expect them real soon! How very thoughtful of them. *rollingeyes*).

Are we having fun yet?

So, fast forward several more months. About 3 weeks ago I got a bill from a COLLECTION AGENCY for the remaining balance that should have been paid automatically in the first place, and which I had already paid as soon as I got the bill (so that was, what? at least a month earlier? I can't keep track anymore). Not just any collection agency, but one that specifically deals with estates so as not to further confuse the bereaved family members? I'm clueless here... In the meantime my Dad has also passed....so I have to call this collection agency who was "simply arranging to collect from the estate"; yes, collecting a bill which had already been paid long since, and for which we made the charges ourselves, because they had approved it for our use. Are you still with me? I explained to them that I had paid the bill and they said OK. I have not heard back from them so I'm assuming that they at least know how to perform basic record-keeping chores.

Now today I got a bill for FINANCE CHARGES based on that final balance. Only 5 bucks, but let me tell you, it was not the amount that was the point. I have been completely baffled by the incompetence and insensitivity of this entire affair and this was the last straw. I was in the middle of doing something else important but I picked up the phone and called them while I was "in the mood".

The automatic response thingie told me that my account is closed and that there is no balance. What a complete surprise! more eyerolling* So I hit 0 to speak to an actual person, who assured me that the charge was already reversed and that I should not have even received a bill. Gee, I wonder what happened? Must have just "slipped through the cracks". Heh.

Now tell me, after reading all this, are you wondering what's next?

I just can't wait to apply for a NEW Chase card. /sarcasm

Goodbye for now, Daddy

10/14/31 - 7/30/09

Just No Words.

How far have we fallen as a society when we get our kicks from watching a real life family destroy themselves? How far have parents fallen when they use their family problems to gain RATINGS for a show??

Yes. I am talking about Jon and Kate Gosselin.

I am too disgusted to say anything else. There are just no words. I honestly can't believe this is even an issue.

PLEASE. DO NOT WATCH THEIR SHOW. Please pray for them all, especially the children.

Kate's brother comments- click here

What Happened to the PlayPlace?

Remember the PlayPlace? That's McDonalds' official name for the little playgrounds that used to be attached to every McD's you saw. They were popular places for birthday parties. In the "Old Days" they were all outside. I still remember the first indoor one I ever saw - it was about 1994, we were en route to Colorado and marveled at the genius who decided to put them indoors. No more too-hot slides or puddle-filled ball pits! Gone would be the urban legend about the kid who got killed by the snake in the pit! We guessed the reason for the one we saw was the hostile winters in the area, but we loved the idea, and were thrilled when they started converting the ones in the South.

I spent a lot of time in the PlayPlace when the kids were young. I mean a LOT!! It was the perfect place for a coffee date with a friend. We could sit comfortably - well, relatively so, anyway - and visit while the kids were kept busy and happy for long periods of time. No need to spend a lot on food, either - a couple of shared french fry orders, or some ice cream, was as welcome as a Happy Meal. And the coffee was always hot!

Pretty soon almost every PlayPlace was indoors. I felt sorry for the one McD's in town that didn't convert. You never saw any kids there! They may as well have nothing at all! Then again if you were trying to book a party, you were pretty much guaranteed the date of your choice there.

Speaking of parties - I became a fan of the McD's party early on. I can't remember how many we had there. For forty bucks you had a party for 10 kids complete with invitations, food, cake, ice cream, games, and a gift for the birthday kid. Not to mention the BIRTHDAY THRONE and the ATTENDANT to serve you and - the best part - CLEAN UP! No wonder McD's parties were so popular! It seemed like a no-brainer to me. The hard part of it was planning in time to get a date close to the actual birthday. We tended to have our parties a few weeks after....well, I told the kids it was like having an extra birthday, and they bought it!

PlayPlaces were also a great stopping point during a trip. Even if you didn't want to eat there, you could use the restroom and grab a drink or snack and let the kids run around for a bit before getting back into the car. If you did eat, the prices were good, and the Happy Meal prize guaranteed to entertain for at least a while once you got back on the road.

So the other day it was D's turn to go out to lunch and he asked for McDonald's. As we ran some errands around town we drove past several and that's what got me thinking about this topic. You see, PlayPlaces are disappearing. McD's had to rebuild a few of their local stores after Katrina. Not one of them has a PlayPlace - even the one with the ultra-COOL huge one which for awhile was THE PlayPlace in town, where at one point if you didn't reserve 6 months before your birthday you were having it late! They seem to be competing with Starbucks now...with the McCafe menu and decor. Great idea - but what are we Moms supposed to do with the kids while we sip our gourmet joe?

We ended up at one with a nice PlayPlace (which he is apparently too old for now! We sat in the regular restaurant and he had a regular combo meal!). But we could see inside. On this particular HOT day, every table in there was taken. Kids were running around wild, having a blast (some without SOCKS! Oh, the horror!). Parents sat at their tables eating, chatting, reading the paper, occasionally looking up to check on their kids. Just as I used to do so often. It was a nostaglic moment. We really did do our time! But we loved it. Obviously, people still want the PlayPlace...although I suppose it wouldn't have been as crowded in that one store if there were others around.

As far as I can tell only two, maybe three of the local stores still have them. Hey - it's not that I really care, anymore. Although the triplets are happy to play if we're there, they don't really care that much. We haven't been to one to hang out and keep busy in ages. We don't need the PlayPlace anymore. We've outgrown the PlayPlace (how sad does that sound?!). At the same time, they seem to be going the way of the dinosaur. I wonder why? McD's always catered to families with little kids. I can't help being curious. I'm very glad they didn't do this when we used them so often. I'm sure we would have survived and found something else to do - but I'm glad to have had the option, and now the memories.

McDonald's was a favorite hangout for Grandparents and kids as well.

What Do I Think?

Everyone keeps asking me what I think about Jon and Kate Plus 8. I think it's part of that whole "Multiple Mom Club" thing, I don't know.... Like, we have SO much in common! Since I have multiples, surely I must absolutely ADORE them! And if not, I must just be dreadfully jealous of them! /snark

Frankly, I had never thought or even known of them until around the time I made this post about the reality TV thing and then later this post which ended up being based on them simply because something they did made me think of the topic. I confess I started keeping track after that. I am fanatical about children, specifically about not abusing them. I am always very saddened by the stories of former child stars who had their lives completely screwed up by their fame. What a high price to pay for my personal entertainment...probably one reason I don't care much for TV now. I had been deeply moved by the story of the Dionne quintuplets, particularly the heartfelt plea made by the surviving ladies to the McCaugheys....that letter still brings me to tears. How can anyone read that and NOT be moved?? And I know the Gosselins read it. They said themselves that they did. Sure, it's not a given that their lives will be ruined. But look at the statistics. The permanent damage to their children is a risk they decided to take. That confuses the hell out of me!

So, what do I think about the Gosselins? Well, my views have changed since that first post of mine. I do think their agenda has changed as well in that time. It is clearly NOT just about the kids and paying for college. What do I think? I think not even REAL famous people make the tabloids as much as they do. REAL famous people that the public really cares about. The Gosselins were still largely unknowns in the greater scheme of the world. NOW, on the other hand, everyone knows who they are. My teenagers and their friends, who had never heard of them or their show, are now talking about them regularly. They are dinner table conversation.

What do I think? I think there is a massive publicity campaign going on by either the Gosselins themselves or their publicity team (and therefore, the Gosselins themselves...don't insult our intelligence by saying you can't stop this). There is simply too much evidence to the contrary, and the fact that they are not "big" enough to warrant such attention is just the beginning. Don't take my word for it - use your own Google skills. They WANT this attention. They are orchestrating it.

And that thought is even more sickening than "just" the pimping out of their children.

So that's what I think. Just one woman's opinion, to be sure. Don't ask, if you don't want to know.

Handicap Parking Revisited

My Dad stopped driving about 2 months ago. Around the same time, we finally bit the bullet and got him a handicap placard for his car. Since he lives with me, I am usually the one to drive him around to appointments and errands (although I must give my husband and eldest son a shout-out. They are awesome about driving him as well!).

Since I've been driving him, I've noticed the extreme shortage of handicap parking! I suppose that's subjective. I mean, according to people at Triplet Connection there is way too much handicap parking and the people that use it are perfectly capable....right? And I admit it's possible that since the greater portion of places we go are geared towards people who are more likely to be disabled - the Internist, the Radiation Oncologist, etc. -- it makes sense that it's harder to find a handicap space. But I've been noticing the same problem at Wal-Mart or Rouses' or the mall.

I'm not accusing anyone of using spaces they don't need. I'm sure those are there, but I also know there are those needing them who don't look like our idea of disabled. In fact, I consider that we don't really NEED those spaces at all. I can park way out in the lot and push Dad's chair as far as I need to. In fact, that's what I do when there are no spaces available or some yokel has parked halfway into the remaining one so that I would not be able to open the door and let Dad out. No problem - unless it's raining, so I need to remember to pack a poncho for Dad, note to self. Then again we are in the middle of a drought so that hasn't been a problem either!

Or I can stop out front, unload Dad and the chair, push them inside the building, and then go park the car. Depending on where we are, I choose which to do, no problem.

It was just interesting to me to note how few spaces there actually seem to be when you're looking for one. Before I needed one, I would have also said there seem to be plenty to go around. But now I say that Dad's lucky he doesn't have to drive himself anymore.

The other thing I've noticed is the lack of other handicap considerations. Now I am talking about the places you expect to find disabled people. The oncologist, for example, is located in an older building in town. Sure, they fixed it all up with ramps and stuff, but the door is an old fashioned, heavy double door. You can barely fit a wheelchair through one half of the door, but it's physically impossible to open both sides at one time. It opens out, which is nice if you're GOING out but for going in, not so much. Luckily I built up my mad door skillz by operating a Quad Runabout stroller full of 85+ pounds of wiggly babies for all those years.

Crescent City Classic 10K race

Give me a free hand and my hip and I can do magic, baby!

Luckily at Radiation there is one of those automatic door thingies. You know. You press a button and the door opens. If you can get there in time. Which is where those skillz come in handy again. Unfortunately they only thought of the button on the outer door. To get into the office you need the hip action again. So usually while Dad is in being zapped I sit by the door so I can hold it for people, because again Dad is the lucky one to have someone bringing him!

I guess all this is just stuff most people never notice because they don't have to. And hopefully, you never will.

Rambling Thoughts

It both irritates and amuses me to read some posts on forums. I realize people want to vent. I've never gotten WHY they would choose an open forum to post their vents if they don't also want some advice/solutions. Mostly what they really seem to want is cyber-hugs and "OMG, I am SO SORRY that happened to you!!!!!1!!! ((((((HUGZ!!!!1!!!!1!!!!))))))"

It rarely fails that the OP will eventually come back and get all pissy because people had the audacity to offer such things when "I was only venting". I find it so amusing that on a forum that I own, I actually added a new folder! Any member can post there, but - here's the key - no one can reply! That should solve most of the problem, wouldn't you think? But no....it actually turns out that most of these whiners are actually attention whores (I guess) and prefer the open forum so they can whine about the replies they get. Maybe so they have something new to complain about? Who knows. At any rate the forum that I thought was the perfect solution is rarely utilized. Who knew?

Another thing that amuses/irritates me ("irrimuses"?) is when people give only a small piece of information in their post and then seem to expect the membership to JUST KNOW that there was more to it. For instance, one person recently posted that they are thinking of divorce because her husband is not as sympathetic as she would like him to be when she is sick and he has to step up the child care. When someone points out that perhaps counseling would be a better option, she adds that he has been unfaithful as well. Hmm....

I have learned to expect the "yeah, but...." answers like that. I still don't get them. What do people expect? Maybe they should start a blog of their own? Who would expect validation for wanting to divorce in the first situation? Who wouldn't expect it in the second? If you wanted validation, why did you leave out that important fact, it can't possibly have just slipped your mind? Was this a test?

Maybe I shouldn't get into forum censorship in this entry. I have always supported that the owner of the forum gets to make the rules. There really is no free speech on an internet forum. BUT - I firmly believe that the rules should be spelled out clearly in black and white, easy to understand terms. Sure, some things are subjective. On my own site, there are very few rules. We do not allow personal attacks, though, and have found that those can be very subjective - usually the person posting it feels it is not a violation and the other person thinks it is. That's when the 2 person staff gets to decide, and there is always at least one person who is unhappy with the decision. So I definitely can sympathize with forum staff on those issues.

But there are some rules that ought to be spelled out and then enforced consistently. Say if you decide you won't allow any posting about "Jon and Kate + 8" - say so, in the forum rules and guidelines (which you do have, yeah? In an easily accessible spot?) and then immediately remove ANY post about that topic. Doesn't seem so hard. Don't say you won't allow those posts, then allow a thread on that topic to sit there for days, then suddenly go all CB (crazy-bitch) on everyone for adding to the thread. Perhaps a site needs more staff so they can handle that sort of thing. I would certainly assume that if a thread's been there for a few days it's fair game....not that longstanding, well-respected members would be banned for making a post there.

And for heaven's sake, if you don't want any cursing at your site, it's an extremely simpler-than-simple matter to turn on your censor option. You can put in any word you want; it takes 2 seconds, max, for each word. You can have it turn a word into stars (*****) or just part of the word (F**K) < that's for passive agressive types who want to look all noble by censoring the word, yet want to be sure that everyone knows exactly what the word was...heehee. You can also have it put a completely different word. On one forum the word "screwed" is replaced with "hosed"...."hell" with "Arizona".... most people find it amusing although one person from Arizona was a bit miffed. Point is...it's not hard, at all. The program already has all the major bad words in it by default, you have only to turn it on. Stop bitching that people are cussing on your site, and make your life easier!

And don't forget - next to Google, the search function is your best friend.