Life and other Blah

Long story short - a a bit over a month ago, I found a lump, and life suddenly changed. They removed a cancerous breast tumor from my body (along with the accompanying breast). They tell me all the cancer is gone, for which I am really grateful. Since it was "the aggressive type" of tumor, I must now undergo 6 months of chemotherapy and hormonal treatment to keep it from coming back. Without the treatment, there is a high chance it will come back. With, there is a very low chance.

I'm not really sure what I think of those odds. I mean, I had no risk factors for triplets, and I had no risk factors for breast cancer. I'm just lucky I guess! I wonder what the lady who thinks spontaneous triplets are better than the rest would think about spontaneous breast cancer? (LOL :) ) I'd rather not worry about odds, I guess, since they haven't seemed to apply to me yet!

I have had one treatment so far. I will get them every 3 weeks. I am supposed to feel somewhat normal in between. This is Day 5 and I am still waiting for that to happen. I feel "sortof" normal but I have severe brain fog. It really reminds me of my worst hangover. Any sort of noise is not really painful, but seriously IRRITATING. Guess what - it's summer and there are 6 children in the house, so quiet is not too likely to happen around here anytime soon! So as life often goes, I have to suck it up. What else can I do? Can't live with 'em, can't shoot 'em. *shrug*

We had to cancel our planned trip to Disney. I think the kids are more upset about that than anything else. Two summers ago we were caring for my dying father in our house and our vacation consisted of a day at the water park. Last summer we had a great trip to Branson and that will have to tide them over for another year.

My biggest fear when talking to the kids about this was that they would freak out. After all, their only mental image of cancer is watching first their Grandma, then their Grandad die in their bed in our house. I think we did a good job of explaining to them how this is different - different type of cancer, different set of circumstances plus my parents opted out of treatment. So we explained how the "medicine" would make me feel and came up with a plan for getting through the summer. They seem to be taking it very well. They are really being great about pitching in around the house. But they are still loud! Can't have everything!

I am very optimistic. I am a Christian and I truly believe that God knows how many days we have before we have ever had any. I trust God completely - but I won't lie, it's scary. I found out pretty quickly that it's true what they say - chemo sucks!! I thought I would get off easy when I felt pretty good the first couple of days. WRONG! The next 2 KICKED MY ASS. But now I am not too bad if I don't overdo it and if I try to ignore the massive-hangover feeling. I'm hoping to help out at Girl Scout Day Camp next week and various other events I had committed to for the summer. If I can't - no big whoop, there is always next year.

But that's another thing I angst over - the Mommy guilt feeling of letting everyone down. I know, it's not at all rational! But there it is.

So in closing I would like to say - when you close down this page, go do a self-breast-check. EVEN IF you are not at risk. EVEN IF you breast fed all your babies which is supposed to lower your risk even further. My tumor was not found at my regular checkup 6 months ago, and it was not seen in a mammogram, yet it was 2 cm when I found it. I had no reason to do a check. I "just happened" to do one. I believe with all my heart that God told me to do one. YMMV. :)

Then go hug your babies, please. Even if you're having a bad day. Life is short and life is precious. It could be a cancerous tumor or it could be a drunk driver or it could be anything. And let me tell you, life comes at you fast! You don't always get a warning...but I got one, and while I am not planning on going anywhere anytime soon, I am planning to make the most of my time from here on in - brain fog and all.

Party Invitations

Today one of the boys went to party for one of the boys in his class. It was one of those things where everyone in the class gets an invitation. It was not addressed to anyone. When this happens, as soon as they give them to me I write the guest's name on it so I can remember who is invited! LOL!

Every once in awhile the kid will tell me the others are invited too. I always tell them, I need to hear that from the Mom, and I will not call to ask (because I don't want to put them on the spot and feel obligated).

So of course we get to this party and the Mom says, oh, where are the others? UMM!! I called you to RSVP, I told you Triplet A will be there, if you wanted B and C there that was your cue! So I gave her a blank stare and said "theyr'e at home" and she says "oh you could have brought them". So they are sitting at home 30 miles away while their brother is playing laser tag.

I have taught them since Kindergarten, when they went to separate classrooms, to accept that they will be invited to different places and to be happy for each other. And they are! There were no tears about this party, but certainly a wistful regret. I have taught them well.

And I do not want parents thinking they are a package deal. This little vent is not about that. Just, if it's OK and expected that I bring all of them, you need to TELL me. I would be happy to! IF I know they are invited!

Damn, it's so hard being a decent guest these days.

Despicable!!!

I just read what is very likely one of THE most disturbing articles I have ever seen. This link will give the basics and has a link to the actual article on Huffington Post.

Susan G. Komen Foundation should be ashamed of themselves!! I seriously hope there is such a thing as karma because I really want it to turn around and bite them in the ass. Speaking of boobs! Indeed!!

I am proud to say I have never given one red cent to Komen other than the odd product I may have been purchasing anyway that had a pink ribbon on it. My reason for not giving was mostly that after watching my parents die from cancer, I have absolutely no confidence in "acceptable" treatment methods over alternative. When they died, we asked for donations to alternative research and Hospice, not to any traditional cancer places (which is what they would have wanted). It's not that I am against standard treatment, and God forbid should I ever have to make the choice I don't know what I would choose. But I have seen enough that I have consciously not given any donations.

From now on, if a product I was planning to buy anyway happens to have a pink ribbon on it, I will make the fully CONSCIOUS decision to NOT buy it. I will also make the conscious effort to get the word out so that others can make informed choices!

I have also been leery of ALL the pink and the products and such. Why breast cancer over all other kinds? I don't know why I was leery, but I just was. And there is NO shortage of breast cancer in my family. It is definitely in my best interests to find a cure. And yet I was leery and consciously NOT donating.

Now I am SO glad I didn't. Why would anyone continue to donate money to them now? If I give to them my donation will go towards threatening another legitimate case and also take money from them! If I give to one of the small charities my money will apparently need to go for either defending the lawsuit, or them having to buy all new stuff in order to comply! This is one of the most despicable things I have ever seen!

SHAME ON YOU Susan G Komen Foundation!!

Edited to add:

This is a link to a site called "Charity Navigator". Please click the link on that page to read the comments, which go back farther than the HuffPost article.

Here is a link to SGK's Wikipedia page that dates these events as far back as August, 2010. There is no link to the WSJ article so I will look for that.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Susan_G._Komen_for_the_Cure

In the interest of fairness, here is a "response" from the SGK Facebook page:

http://ww5.komen.org/uploadedFiles/Content_Binaries/HuffPostResponse-120910.pdf

Personally, in light of what else I've read I find this to be very insulting.

Also, this is a post made on the SGK Facebook page that I would like to share. I edited out the woman's name.

Post #1

My name is (edited), and I participated in the Breast Cancer 3 Day, in Seattle WA, September, 2009. It was a great experience and I met some wonderful people. The volunteers at the event were first rate. It was a grueling task, which affected my body for months afterward i.e., aches and pains, blisters, plantar fascitis, but I thought it was for a good cause, so I rarely complained, figuring it was a small sacrifice for a good deed.

Imagine my shock (when I was watching The Colbert Report of all shows), to discover that approximately one million dollars a year, of donor dollars, goes to suing various Mom and Pop charities in order to retain some morbid ideal of owning the phrase 'for a cure' or 'for the cure.' Shame on you. I've read your canned response, which implies that people are too stupid to know what charity they are donating to. I've donated to a lot of charities, some with the words 'for the cure,' knowing that I was not donating to Susan Komen. Believe it or not, SKFTC is not the only charity people want to donate to. You have insulted and embarassed not only donors, but people like me, who have raised dollars for your cause. Never again will I participate in your events or donate to
your foundation, and I would imagine that I'm not alone. Talk about cutting off your nose to spite your face.

My daughter's grandmother and my good friend is fighting terminal breast cancer, and I walked the 3 day in her honor. This is what infuriates me the most. The blood, sweat, and tears, pushing myself so hard as an ode to a very brave lady, who was so proud of me for doing this in her honor. If she finds out about this, it is going to take away some of the 'shine' from her experience. To add insult to injury, she and her husband donated $50 to your foundation, when I walked the 3 Day. How does that make you feel? Taking money from a hardworking farm wife with terminal breast cancer, when 17% of that $50 goes to cover your administrative costs and so that you can bully defenseless charities? (I've come across that 17% figure as I've looked into this law suit issue) Unbelievable.

In closing, I raised the required $2,300 from friends, family, neighbors, and businesses, 100% of that went to Komen. I am a single mom, a registered nurse from Montana, and I could barely afford to make the trip to Seattle. My donors, as well as millions of other donors, are fighting this recession along with everyone else. To spend even one red cent of their hard earned dollars on lawsuits is a travesty. I feel like apologizing to every one of my donors for your terrible ethics. I think that the only way to save your face is to apologize to the public and small charities, and put a stop to the lawsuits, and while you're at it, spend a little less on salaried employees and spend a little more on breast cancer research. I know that you have done a lot of good in the fight against breast cancer, but this time, you have completely crossed the line. Perhaps the phrase 'all good things must come to an end' applies here.

Sincerely,
(edited)

Post #2

Sorry for the long post, but this is what I emailed to Komen, and I hope some people take the time to read it here. Please continue to donate to breast cancer causes, but really look at where the money is going...you can donate to research directly or donate to local causes, too. Thank you.

Post #3

Actually, I screwed up in my earlier post...I've read that only 17% goes to breast cancer research, while the other 83% goes to administrative costs. If this information is wrong, I hope SGKFTC corrects me.

School Issues

My triplets have been in all day public school since they were 3 years old, thanks to the PEI program having a speech Pre-K class. They were together for their 3 years of pre-K (we held them back a year simply because they were right on the cutoff date) and have been separate ever since. They are currently in 3rd grade.

I have been a huge, big-mouthed proponent of separating multiples, but that has now changed!

The separate homework has never been a problem. They learned early on that only they are responsible for doing their homework. They can come to us if they need help. Otherwise they know when they are to do it and where they are to put it when they're done. They are to bring me anything that needs signing, without my asking, and to put it where it belongs afterward so that it gets turned in! This method works great for us. Two of the kids have no problem doing things the way they are supposed to. One of my boys is flaky and absent-minded (like his Mom!) and is constantly forgetting things and losing them. Some Moms might compensate for that by reminding and micr0-managing. I don't believe in that. It's better he learn to get organized now than in high school or college! And he is learning. He is exponentially better just this year. By the time he gets to 4th grade I believe he will have it down.

Fourth Grade. That is where the problem comes in. They will be at a new school, which will be enough of an adjustment in itself. The fourth grade has four classes - but it's in two blocks. Each block has one teacher in the morning and the other in the afternoon. So it's possible to have the same two teachers, yet not be together.

And this is exactly what I am going to ask for. I would like to have the exact same teachers for all three. In my perfect world, two will be together in the same block. The other - yep, the one who needs to work on his organization skillz - will be alone, on the opposite rotation of the same block.

So we will have the exact same homework, which will make things much easier. Homework hasn't been a problem yet, and I don't anticipate too much change next year, although with the other adjustments I would like to ease it for all of us as much as possible.

But the main issue for me is a certain teacher. I'm sure we have all known people who are simply in the WRONG JOB. This is a prime example! This woman has no business teaching children. She may do ok with teenagers, but she is horrible with younger ones! I know, because my current 7th grader had her. I was all set to demand he be moved, when they added an extra block and he lucked out.

You have to realize that I have never demanded ANYTHING from any of my kids' schools. I have not even asked nicely. My kids have always taken what they got and it has worked out fine. But my Mama Bear comes out when I think of this bitch.

She is a shouter. She belittles, insults, screams, all in front of the entire class. My son, who has loved school always before and since his experience with her, came home in TEARS every day for TWO WEEKS. He is not an overly sensitive child. I confirmed his experience with his friends and with other parents. I've confirmed through parents, children and other teachers that she has not changed one bit in the past few years. How in the HELL does someone like that keep a teaching job??

I was ready to pull my son out and home school him for fourth grade. Which is exactly what I will do with the triplets if I don't get my way. I'm ready for battle. I'm not exactly sure how to go about it - but I am ready to start my battle shortly after the holidays. We'll see what happens!

Forever the Triplet Mom

One of the problems being a triplet mom is all the attention we get. Mostly when they're babies, and they're with us. How well I remember being the "Triplet Exhibit" at the zoo!

Most of that has disappeared now. Even when they're all together they just look like a bunch of kids playing. The boys are assumed to be twins since they look alike - but they rarely dress alike so if they're not standing right next to each other it usually isn't noticed.

But this weekend I didn't even have them with me and I had issues!

It's been 30 years since high school, and we're having some reunion activities. We started this weekend with the Homecoming game, a party afterward and a family picnic. Because of Facebook, I've been back in touch with many of my old classmates and they know (or would, if they ever read anything or see my PROFILE PIC which has 6 kids, 3 of whom are the same size). Apparently they don't, or were just really looking forward to seeing real live triplets, live in person, and whaddya mean they are actually KIDS, aren't triplets supposed to be babies? And how is one of them a GIRL if they are triplets???

But I digress. I had a great time this weekend - better than I expected, actually. High school was not the best years of my life, to be honest; I was pretty much a spoiled, self-absorbed (IMO way more than is typical) brat back then. Most of my friends were in the 2 years ahead of mine, and my best friendship from High School has had a major falling out in the past year. I spent the past few months going back and forth on whether I would even go (I still live here, so I don't even have that excuse!). But I went - and had a blast.

My gripe, and it does sound petty but it's something a fellow triplet Mom would understand, is this - as soon as anyone found out I had OMGTRIPLETZ!!!!!!!1eleventy!!!! the questions started! Did you do fertility? Did you KNOW you were having triplets? Did you TRY to have triplets? OMG how did you do it? OMG I would kill myself! blah blah.

And there is no way to avoid it, of course. You've been to reunions: Where are you living now? How long have you been married? How many kids? How old?

So I just answered simply and sometimes I got away with it. How many kids? 6. How old? 19, 16, 12, 9. Sometimes the math didn't compute or maybe they weren't really listening, LOL. But it never failed that if they did the math the questions would start. And then at the picnic everyone wanted to see them together, and take pictures.

I have never, ever faulted anyone for asking. I'm sure I would do the same thing. So I don't mean any criticism of them. Even with the pictures - we were all taking pics of our friends with their families, that really didn't bother me. It was just annoying to be repeating the same thing over and over, and it made me wish to just be normal for once, not just "the triplet mom".

God Initiates Massive Recall

WASHINGTON – God is recalling more than 10 million items over safety concerns.

The Consumer Product Safety Commission said Thursday that several of the products being recalled involved injuries.

In the recall of about 7 million sticks, the agency is aware of 10 reports of children being hurt. Six of them required medical attention.

The sticks — some of which which feature popular decorations like leaves and twigs — have a protruding end that children can strike, sit on or fall on, leading to injuries that the commission said can include genital bleeding.

God is also recalling more than 1 million pairs of legs, after 14 reports of problems. Seven children required stitches, the commission said.

The legs are designed to walk and run freely, but children can fall, resulting in cuts and other injuries.

CPSC Chairman said God needs to do more to build safety into his products before they are released to the public. But she also offered praise to God for "taking the right steps by agreeing to these recalls and offering consumers free repairs or replacement."

The two other God recalls were:

_More than 2.8 million tons of fresh air (too much can be damaging), several sizes of river rocks (these can be misused by throwing at people, or tripped over causing injury), dirt (if thrown can get in someone's eye), the oceans (drowning hazard), and anything anyone finds to be fun. Anything can pose untold hazards to children, said CPSC. The agency said there were more than 50 reports of fun things causing harm.

_About 100,000 Fisher-Price Little People Wheelies Stand 'n Play Rampway toys. The wheels on the purple and green cars can come off, posing a choking hazard.

Consumers can visit the God's website for more information on the dates of sale and model numbers for the recalled products, or they may simply choose to pay more attention to their children, teach them right from wrong and learn how to use a band-aid.

____________________________________________

OK, the last one was serious, as anything marketed for under age 3 should not pose a choking hazard. The actual article can be found here.

I read that this morning and it mostly made me shake my head and go HUH? Look, I really am sorry if your kid got hurt. Kiss the bobo and apply a band-aid, and move on to the next thing! If you expect your kid to fall and NEVER get hurt, you are in for a big surprise! Why not just bubble wrap the poor kid and get it over with?

If we were talking sharp points on a toy that would be different. I have had 5 of those very trikes and I know what that key looks like. Sure, it might hurt someone who fell on it "just right". How the heck does a kid fall on it to cause "genital bleeding" anyway? But the bigger question is - out of 7 million trikes in this recall alone, is TEN injuries really worth a recall? SIX of them "required medical attention" - what does that mean, exactly? Is it a band-aid, or a rush to the emergency room in an ambulance? How many of those were genital bleeders? What were the kids doing with/on the trikes when they were injured? These are the things I would like to know. I think we have a right to know! To be honest, though, six rushes to the emergency room would still not justify a recall in my mind. I can also guarantee you that if my children were still using those trikes, they would keep right on using them.

It is a fact that KIDS FALL. Sometimes kids fall when there is something in front of them and they might GET HURT, whether or not the item is actually"dangerous" or not. I have news for people - getting injured by something does not mean the item itself is inherently dangerous. If I trip on my rug and get rug burn do we recall the rug? How about the piece of paper left on the floor and I slipped and twisted my knee on it, which put me in serious pain for weeks?

"Massive recall of printer paper! Please return all such paper to the place of purchase immediately. When left on the floor, this paper poses a severe slipping/knee twisting hazard which may require medical attention or at the very least lots of Advil. Do not delay your return of this very dangerous item which has also been implicated in several reports of paper cuts!"

Another newsflash - LIFE is dangerous. Life actually has a 100% mortality rate.

Truly dangerous products are another matter and I do not intend to make light of those or any injury stemming from them. We have just gotten so ridiculous about these things that it's really hard to take most of the seriously anymore.

Check out this page of actual product warnings. Are all of them real? I have no idea. But I have seen enough for myself to know that they're out there!

How about if we use some common sense (which is actually not so common), learn to use band-aids, supervise our kids, and teach them not to jump onto their tricycle from the dining room table with no underpants on. Then we worry about recalling the TRULY dangerous products and moving on with our lives.

Watch this video

Health issues

Several weeks ago I was thinking about my various health issues. I had been to the doctor yet again and got blood work YET AGAIN with "normal" results yet again.... and decided that I was going to have to take control of myself to figure out what exactly is going on. It's time for a little progress report!

First of all, some of my symptoms:

bowel issues, cramps, gas, bloating....chronic sinus drainage...frequent headaches...nausea....little to no energy... insomnia / difficulty staying asleep...inability to lose weight ...no self control....extreme food cravings... there were more, but those were the worst.

Shortly after making that decision I happened on a thread on a message board. The subject of the thread I don't remember, and it had nothing to do with health matters per se, but one post caught my eye. The conversation had turned to behavior/mood issues and a woman chimed in that she had had similar issues in the past, but overcame them with the addition of a few simple supplements. She referred to a book called "The Mood Cure". I went to the site and took the quiz (something I don't normally put too much stock in since it always seems to apply to everyone....but remember, I was at my wit's end!!) and, desperate, ordered not only that book but the companion one called "The Diet Cure". After reading a few pages in "The Diet Cure" I went straight to the health food store for some amino acid supplements. I swallowed my first dose in the car in the parking lot! It's not my style to order something online based on hyped up recommendations - I would never had ordered if it weren't for the lady on the message board. But I was really SO desperate I figured what can it hurt? All I have to lose is the cost of the book and the bottle of pills, less than $30. The lady on the board is someone whose opinions I have come to respect, so that did count for a lot of it.

Long story short - I felt "different" after just 1 day. I didn't really put too much stock in that, as it could have been enthusiasm as much as anything. By the third day I noticed I was behaving differently. I was handling situations with the kids much more calmly and rationally than I would have the week before. I asked Hubby, and he agreed. I also noticed a difference as I prepared a snack! I suddenly stopped short and realized that I was preparing the snack I wanted at the moment - baby carrots and salsa dip - not my typical snack which would be more like chips and sour cream dip and something chocolatey! I was very surprised to "catch" myself doing that - it's been a LONG time since something healthy was what I actually wanted.

The funny thing is that for all these weeks it has continued. I do not crave sweets anymore. I do not crave starchy snacks anymore. I eat when I'm hungry and I am able to control how I eat as well - i.e. not too fast and too big bites. I am not eating nearly as much at one sitting as I used to. I have not wanted an alcoholic beverage. That is not to say I haven't had one - but I have not "wanted" one, you know? "Dieting" has been no effort at all, because my body is telling me what to eat - it was before, but it was telling me the wrong things. Because of my lack of self control (that I was constantly beating myself up for) I was listening to the wrong voice. That voice seems to have been banished from the Kingdom for now!

AND - a biggie - I have now gone through TWO months with ZERO PMS! You have no idea how big of a deal that is, although Hubby certainly knows!

The only fly in the ointment is that I am not losing any weight. I am positive I am eating less than half the calories I had been eating before, and they are not empty calories as they would have been before. It seems to me the weight ought to be fairly melting off! But I am not discouraged (at least not most of the time). I know I have a thyroid problem, I should be on medication. I have to get that from Mom and Dad's (alternatively minded) doctor, because I pass all thyroid tests. This doctor treats based on symptoms, which is not accepted by all doctors. It helped me when I was on it before, but didn't perform the miracles I thought it would, so I stopped taking it (assuming it wasn't working at all). Now I realize that there are several issues involved here - one of which being the amino acid deficiency, another being candida overgrowth, both of which I am treating myself with supplements from the health food store.

At first I suspected a food intolerance - probably to gluten or dairy. But after an experiment with an elimination diet, and more time on the aminos I have pretty much ruled that out.

The main thing is I am feeling SO much better now. I am eating decent foods now. I have energy!!!! I am getting there, and I have had to get there myself. Medicine was not going to help me, not traditional medicine. My doctor wanted to give me an antidepressant and a diet pill and a nose spray for my sinuses (Those have not completely cleared up at this point, but are much better). I don't fault my doctor, really...I have come to realize through this and my experience with Mom and Dad that modern medicine does not hold all the answers. Neither does alternative medicine, so I am not putting it on a pedestal either. I'm glad I'm advocating for myself. What works for me may not work for someone else, and I am quite sure someone will read this and think I have gone off the deep end or try to dissuade me from such utter quackery, and that's fine. I am the only one who has to live in this body!

Hopefully I will be able to post more progress very soon. :)

PS the supplements I am taking are just a basic blend of all the aminos. In the book it lists them separately according to your symptoms but I haven't had time to sit anf figure all that out...and it is working so well I don't see the need to now. The dosage on the bottle says "up to 6 daily" and I am taking 3 of this particular brand.