Triple Stuff

I only get one wish?

2011-10-01T10:45:00.001-07:00

LOL! John found this somewhere and sent it to me. I think next time I see this posted I will answer something like this.

I believe many people don't really think before re-posting something that looks good at first glance. I would like to see this meme go away and never come back. I have never commented when someone has posted it, because I believe they mean well and I don't want to offend them, but I am so tired of seeing it lately that I'm about to start.

My first impression on that meme is that it's pretty nervy for anyone to presume to speak for an entire group of people. Period. Remember, at the time I had not been diagnosed. I suppose at first I thought that someone without cancer had no business speaking for someone with cancer. I still feel that way. But I also feel that no one should speak for anyone. I especially feel that way now. Even now that I am "a person who has cancer" I still won't speak for all of us.

Basically if you are "a person who has cancer" and you agree with that meme, then more power to you! Speak for yourself - don't speak for me! Sure, I want to survive. More than that I want to LIVE. Can you even begin to understand the difference? I have lots and lots of wishes, and while survival is certainly one of them, it is not even anywhere close to the highest one on the list. Cancer is not the only thing in my life and it isn't even the biggest. It's just a part of life right now. You do what you need to do and go on with life.

This is one of my favorite Bible verses. Denise, remember this one?

Matthew 6:34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Trust me, it's relevant to this post.

I would really like to rewrite that meme, specify that it's written by ME and say how *I* feel and that people should speak for themselves and not just copy and paste. LOL, I bet it would be viral in no time. :P

Something to Think About.

2011-09-28T17:08:00.001-07:00

That stupid cancer meme is going around on Facebook again. When I say "stupid cancer meme" I mean the meme itself is stupid, not "stupid cancer" like it says (although I am not at all opposed to calling cancer stupid).

If you haven't seen it, it goes something like this:

Stupid cancer. We all want a new car, a new phone. A person who has cancer only wants one thing... to survive. I know that a lot of you "who think you're too cool" probably won't re-post this. But a very little amount of my friends will. Put this on your wall in honor of someone who died of cancer, survived, or who is fighting against it now.

I have a lot to say about this stupid little bit. At first glance it looks fine, right? I mean, no one likes cancer, right?

I have disliked this piece ever since the first time I saw it. For the record, I dislike every one of these things that try to guilt you into re-posting it. For that reason I hardly ever re-post anything at all, and then only if it doesn't have a guilt trip attached to it. So it's really not that I "think I'm too cool". Insert eyeroll here.

But I've hated this one since the first time I saw it, which happens to be way before my own diagnosis. Can you figure out why? Really, before I go on, I would like you to try. Read it over, and let me know what you think. If you think I'm wrong, that's OK. Let me hear it.

Checking in

2011-09-09T09:50:00.001-07:00

I'm sorry I've been away from this blog for so long. Part of it is that I'm on Facebook, and it's so easy to just put up some pictures and a little update there. I miss really writing, though, so I am planning to get back to this.

Meanwhile, I've started a new blog. I didn't want to weigh this one down with cancer stuff and I thought it would be a good idea to write about the experience. I've been writing there since the very beginning, but just didn't give out the address. I guess I'm finally ready to give out that link, so if you're interested, click here. It's probably not that interesting, may contain TMI and more than a few rants, but it will let you know what's going on with me in that area, since I don't really plan to say much about that here!

I will say that I am doing very well and the treatment is much easier than I ever expected it to be. I am keeping up with the things in life that are important to me and best of all, keeping up with my awesome family! Thank you for all the prayers and please don't stop!

Life and other Blah

2011-05-29T14:26:00.000-07:00

Long story short - a a bit over a month ago, I found a lump, and life suddenly changed. They removed a cancerous breast tumor from my body (along with the accompanying breast). They tell me all the cancer is gone, for which I am really grateful. Since it was "the aggressive type" of tumor, I must now undergo 6 months of chemotherapy and hormonal treatment to keep it from coming back. Without the treatment, there is a high chance it will come back. With, there is a very low chance.

I'm not really sure what I think of those odds. I mean, I had no risk factors for triplets, and I had no risk factors for breast cancer. I'm just lucky I guess! I wonder what the lady who thinks spontaneous triplets are better than the rest would think about spontaneous breast cancer? (LOL :) ) I'd rather not worry about odds, I guess, since they haven't seemed to apply to me yet!

I have had one treatment so far. I will get them every 3 weeks. I am supposed to feel somewhat normal in between. This is Day 5 and I am still waiting for that to happen. I feel "sortof" normal but I have severe brain fog. It really reminds me of my worst hangover. Any sort of noise is not really painful, but seriously IRRITATING. Guess what - it's summer and there are 6 children in the house, so quiet is not too likely to happen around here anytime soon! So as life often goes, I have to suck it up. What else can I do? Can't live with 'em, can't shoot 'em. *shrug*

We had to cancel our planned trip to Disney. I think the kids are more upset about that than anything else. Two summers ago we were caring for my dying father in our house and our vacation consisted of a day at the water park. Last summer we had a great trip to Branson and that will have to tide them over for another year.

My biggest fear when talking to the kids about this was that they would freak out. After all, their only mental image of cancer is watching first their Grandma, then their Grandad die in their bed in our house. I think we did a good job of explaining to them how this is different - different type of cancer, different set of circumstances plus my parents opted out of treatment. So we explained how the "medicine" would make me feel and came up with a plan for getting through the summer. They seem to be taking it very well. They are really being great about pitching in around the house. But they are still loud! Can't have everything!

I am very optimistic. I am a Christian and I truly believe that God knows how many days we have before we have ever had any. I trust God completely - but I won't lie, it's scary. I found out pretty quickly that it's true what they say - chemo sucks!! I thought I would get off easy when I felt pretty good the first couple of days. WRONG! The next 2 KICKED MY ASS. But now I am not too bad if I don't overdo it and if I try to ignore the massive-hangover feeling. I'm hoping to help out at Girl Scout Day Camp next week and various other events I had committed to for the summer. If I can't - no big whoop, there is always next year.

But that's another thing I angst over - the Mommy guilt feeling of letting everyone down. I know, it's not at all rational! But there it is.

So in closing I would like to say - when you close down this page, go do a self-breast-check. EVEN IF you are not at risk. EVEN IF you breast fed all your babies which is supposed to lower your risk even further. My tumor was not found at my regular checkup 6 months ago, and it was not seen in a mammogram, yet it was 2 cm when I found it. I had no reason to do a check. I "just happened" to do one. I believe with all my heart that God told me to do one. YMMV. :)

Then go hug your babies, please. Even if you're having a bad day. Life is short and life is precious. It could be a cancerous tumor or it could be a drunk driver or it could be anything. And let me tell you, life comes at you fast! You don't always get a warning...but I got one, and while I am not planning on going anywhere anytime soon, I am planning to make the most of my time from here on in - brain fog and all.

Party Invitations

2011-01-22T19:17:00.000-08:00

Today one of the boys went to party for one of the boys in his class. It was one of those things where everyone in the class gets an invitation. It was not addressed to anyone. When this happens, as soon as they give them to me I write the guest's name on it so I can remember who is invited! LOL!

Every once in awhile the kid will tell me the others are invited too. I always tell them, I need to hear that from the Mom, and I will not call to ask (because I don't want to put them on the spot and feel obligated).

So of course we get to this party and the Mom says, oh, where are the others? UMM!! I called you to RSVP, I told you Triplet A will be there, if you wanted B and C there that was your cue! So I gave her a blank stare and said "theyr'e at home" and she says "oh you could have brought them". So they are sitting at home 30 miles away while their brother is playing laser tag.

I have taught them since Kindergarten, when they went to separate classrooms, to accept that they will be invited to different places and to be happy for each other. And they are! There were no tears about this party, but certainly a wistful regret. I have taught them well.

And I do not want parents thinking they are a package deal. This little vent is not about that. Just, if it's OK and expected that I bring all of them, you need to TELL me. I would be happy to! IF I know they are invited!

Damn, it's so hard being a decent guest these days.

Despicable!!!

2011-01-04T16:53:00.001-08:00

I just read what is very likely one of THE most disturbing articles I have ever seen. This link will give the basics and has a link to the actual article on Huffington Post.

Susan G. Komen Foundation should be ashamed of themselves!! I seriously hope there is such a thing as karma because I really want it to turn around and bite them in the ass. Speaking of boobs! Indeed!!

I am proud to say I have never given one red cent to Komen other than the odd product I may have been purchasing anyway that had a pink ribbon on it. My reason for not giving was mostly that after watching my parents die from cancer, I have absolutely no confidence in "acceptable" treatment methods over alternative. When they died, we asked for donations to alternative research and Hospice, not to any traditional cancer places (which is what they would have wanted). It's not that I am against standard treatment, and God forbid should I ever have to make the choice I don't know what I would choose. But I have seen enough that I have consciously not given any donations.

From now on, if a product I was planning to buy anyway happens to have a pink ribbon on it, I will make the fully CONSCIOUS decision to NOT buy it. I will also make the conscious effort to get the word out so that others can make informed choices!

I have also been leery of ALL the pink and the products and such. Why breast cancer over all other kinds? I don't know why I was leery, but I just was. And there is NO shortage of breast cancer in my family. It is definitely in my best interests to find a cure. And yet I was leery and consciously NOT donating.

Now I am SO glad I didn't. Why would anyone continue to donate money to them now? If I give to them my donation will go towards threatening another legitimate case and also take money from them! If I give to one of the small charities my money will apparently need to go for either defending the lawsuit, or them having to buy all new stuff in order to comply! This is one of the most despicable things I have ever seen!

SHAME ON YOU Susan G Komen Foundation!!

Edited to add:

This is a link to a site called "Charity Navigator". Please click the link on that page to read the comments, which go back farther than the HuffPost article.

Here is a link to SGK's Wikipedia page that dates these events as far back as August, 2010. There is no link to the WSJ article so I will look for that.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Susan_G._Komen_for_the_Cure

In the interest of fairness, here is a "response" from the SGK Facebook page:

http://ww5.komen.org/uploadedFiles/Content_Binaries/HuffPostResponse-120910.pdf

Personally, in light of what else I've read I find this to be very insulting.

Also, this is a post made on the SGK Facebook page that I would like to share. I edited out the woman's name.

Post #1

My name is (edited), and I participated in the Breast Cancer 3 Day, in Seattle WA, September, 2009. It was a great experience and I met some wonderful people. The volunteers at the event were first rate. It was a grueling task, which affected my body for months afterward i.e., aches and pains, blisters, plantar fascitis, but I thought it was for a good cause, so I rarely complained, figuring it was a small sacrifice for a good deed.

Imagine my shock (when I was watching The Colbert Report of all shows), to discover that approximately one million dollars a year, of donor dollars, goes to suing various Mom and Pop charities in order to retain some morbid ideal of owning the phrase 'for a cure' or 'for the cure.' Shame on you. I've read your canned response, which implies that people are too stupid to know what charity they are donating to. I've donated to a lot of charities, some with the words 'for the cure,' knowing that I was not donating to Susan Komen. Believe it or not, SKFTC is not the only charity people want to donate to. You have insulted and embarassed not only donors, but people like me, who have raised dollars for your cause. Never again will I participate in your events or donate to
your foundation, and I would imagine that I'm not alone. Talk about cutting off your nose to spite your face.

My daughter's grandmother and my good friend is fighting terminal breast cancer, and I walked the 3 day in her honor. This is what infuriates me the most. The blood, sweat, and tears, pushing myself so hard as an ode to a very brave lady, who was so proud of me for doing this in her honor. If she finds out about this, it is going to take away some of the 'shine' from her experience. To add insult to injury, she and her husband donated $50 to your foundation, when I walked the 3 Day. How does that make you feel? Taking money from a hardworking farm wife with terminal breast cancer, when 17% of that $50 goes to cover your administrative costs and so that you can bully defenseless charities? (I've come across that 17% figure as I've looked into this law suit issue) Unbelievable.

In closing, I raised the required $2,300 from friends, family, neighbors, and businesses, 100% of that went to Komen. I am a single mom, a registered nurse from Montana, and I could barely afford to make the trip to Seattle. My donors, as well as millions of other donors, are fighting this recession along with everyone else. To spend even one red cent of their hard earned dollars on lawsuits is a travesty. I feel like apologizing to every one of my donors for your terrible ethics. I think that the only way to save your face is to apologize to the public and small charities, and put a stop to the lawsuits, and while you're at it, spend a little less on salaried employees and spend a little more on breast cancer research. I know that you have done a lot of good in the fight against breast cancer, but this time, you have completely crossed the line. Perhaps the phrase 'all good things must come to an end' applies here.

Sincerely,
(edited)

Post #2

Sorry for the long post, but this is what I emailed to Komen, and I hope some people take the time to read it here. Please continue to donate to breast cancer causes, but really look at where the money is going...you can donate to research directly or donate to local causes, too. Thank you.

Post #3

Actually, I screwed up in my earlier post...I've read that only 17% goes to breast cancer research, while the other 83% goes to administrative costs. If this information is wrong, I hope SGKFTC corrects me.

Quacks

2010-11-15T10:43:00.000-08:00

"Real" doctors told me the tests were normal and my problems are all in my head. A Quack knew tests are not perfect and treated me properly.

"Real" doctors said it was a simple matter of quantity: if I eat less, and exercise more, I will lose weight. Quacks taught me that might be true for some people, but it just isn't that simple for everyone, including myself, who felt judged and criticized every time I went in.

"Real" doctors told me to suck it up; it's my life, deal with it. Quacks gave me my life BACK.

My "Real" doctor gave me antidepressants. A Quack treated my thyroid (that the "real" doctor said was perfectly healthy).

"Real" doctors treated me like an idiot for questioning them. Quacks confessed that doctors - even the QUACKS - are NOT God, encouraged me to make informed choices, listen to my body, learn about proper nutrition (by "proper" I do not mean what the "real' doctors say is so) and trust myself.

"Real" doctors keep me in the waiting room for forever and spend 5 minutes in the room with me, barely listening to me, prescription pad in hand. The Quack also kept me waiting, but only because he spends as much time with each patient as they actually need. He also wrote a prescription, picking up the pad only after the exam was over.

"Real" doctors gave me the Food Guide Pyramid. Quacks showed me its folly.

"Real" doctors assure us that inexpensive processed food, artificial ingredients, reduced fat products, fake substitutes and genetically modified is perfectly healthy. Quacks taught me the real cost, and taught me to learn for myself and make informed choices.

"Real" doctors told my Dad there was no hope; he would be dead within a few short months. By listening to the quacks instead, he had 18 months left and even his last miserable days were short in number.

When I was seeing a "Real" doctor I felt like shit all the time, was in and out of his office every few months, each time being offered anti-depressants and sleeping pills, had no energy and was addicted to sugar. I had chronic candida (which I was told did not exist except in late term AIDS patients), almost constant headaches and was unable to lose weight no matter what I did.

My various Agents of Quackery took care of all of those issues with a few inexpensive, over-the-counter supplements and a prescription for thyroid.

The "Real" doctors laugh and shake their heads when I tell them this, and say my newfound health is as much in my head as the problems were.

Quacks are not God either, and there are some bad quacks out there, along with good doctors. From now on I will listen to my body and if one doctor won't listen to me, I will find one who will. There is no one in this world who cares as much about my health as I do, and it's my responsibility to do all I can to keep it.

School Issues

2010-11-12T11:49:00.000-08:00

My triplets have been in all day public school since they were 3 years old, thanks to the PEI program having a speech Pre-K class. They were together for their 3 years of pre-K (we held them back a year simply because they were right on the cutoff date) and have been separate ever since. They are currently in 3rd grade.

I have been a huge, big-mouthed proponent of separating multiples, but that has now changed!

The separate homework has never been a problem. They learned early on that only they are responsible for doing their homework. They can come to us if they need help. Otherwise they know when they are to do it and where they are to put it when they're done. They are to bring me anything that needs signing, without my asking, and to put it where it belongs afterward so that it gets turned in! This method works great for us. Two of the kids have no problem doing things the way they are supposed to. One of my boys is flaky and absent-minded (like his Mom!) and is constantly forgetting things and losing them. Some Moms might compensate for that by reminding and micr0-managing. I don't believe in that. It's better he learn to get organized now than in high school or college! And he is learning. He is exponentially better just this year. By the time he gets to 4th grade I believe he will have it down.

Fourth Grade. That is where the problem comes in. They will be at a new school, which will be enough of an adjustment in itself. The fourth grade has four classes - but it's in two blocks. Each block has one teacher in the morning and the other in the afternoon. So it's possible to have the same two teachers, yet not be together.

And this is exactly what I am going to ask for. I would like to have the exact same teachers for all three. In my perfect world, two will be together in the same block. The other - yep, the one who needs to work on his organization skillz - will be alone, on the opposite rotation of the same block.

So we will have the exact same homework, which will make things much easier. Homework hasn't been a problem yet, and I don't anticipate too much change next year, although with the other adjustments I would like to ease it for all of us as much as possible.

But the main issue for me is a certain teacher. I'm sure we have all known people who are simply in the WRONG JOB. This is a prime example! This woman has no business teaching children. She may do ok with teenagers, but she is horrible with younger ones! I know, because my current 7th grader had her. I was all set to demand he be moved, when they added an extra block and he lucked out.

You have to realize that I have never demanded ANYTHING from any of my kids' schools. I have not even asked nicely. My kids have always taken what they got and it has worked out fine. But my Mama Bear comes out when I think of this bitch.

She is a shouter. She belittles, insults, screams, all in front of the entire class. My son, who has loved school always before and since his experience with her, came home in TEARS every day for TWO WEEKS. He is not an overly sensitive child. I confirmed his experience with his friends and with other parents. I've confirmed through parents, children and other teachers that she has not changed one bit in the past few years. How in the HELL does someone like that keep a teaching job??

I was ready to pull my son out and home school him for fourth grade. Which is exactly what I will do with the triplets if I don't get my way. I'm ready for battle. I'm not exactly sure how to go about it - but I am ready to start my battle shortly after the holidays. We'll see what happens!

Forever the Triplet Mom

2010-10-18T06:51:00.000-07:00

One of the problems being a triplet mom is all the attention we get. Mostly when they're babies, and they're with us. How well I remember being the "Triplet Exhibit" at the zoo!

Most of that has disappeared now. Even when they're all together they just look like a bunch of kids playing. The boys are assumed to be twins since they look alike - but they rarely dress alike so if they're not standing right next to each other it usually isn't noticed.

But this weekend I didn't even have them with me and I had issues!

It's been 30 years since high school, and we're having some reunion activities. We started this weekend with the Homecoming game, a party afterward and a family picnic. Because of Facebook, I've been back in touch with many of my old classmates and they know (or would, if they ever read anything or see my PROFILE PIC which has 6 kids, 3 of whom are the same size). Apparently they don't, or were just really looking forward to seeing real live triplets, live in person, and whaddya mean they are actually KIDS, aren't triplets supposed to be babies? And how is one of them a GIRL if they are triplets???

But I digress. I had a great time this weekend - better than I expected, actually. High school was not the best years of my life, to be honest; I was pretty much a spoiled, self-absorbed (IMO way more than is typical) brat back then. Most of my friends were in the 2 years ahead of mine, and my best friendship from High School has had a major falling out in the past year. I spent the past few months going back and forth on whether I would even go (I still live here, so I don't even have that excuse!). But I went - and had a blast.

My gripe, and it does sound petty but it's something a fellow triplet Mom would understand, is this - as soon as anyone found out I had OMGTRIPLETZ!!!!!!!1eleventy!!!! the questions started! Did you do fertility? Did you KNOW you were having triplets? Did you TRY to have triplets? OMG how did you do it? OMG I would kill myself! blah blah.

And there is no way to avoid it, of course. You've been to reunions: Where are you living now? How long have you been married? How many kids? How old?

So I just answered simply and sometimes I got away with it. How many kids? 6. How old? 19, 16, 12, 9. Sometimes the math didn't compute or maybe they weren't really listening, LOL. But it never failed that if they did the math the questions would start. And then at the picnic everyone wanted to see them together, and take pictures.

I have never, ever faulted anyone for asking. I'm sure I would do the same thing. So I don't mean any criticism of them. Even with the pictures - we were all taking pics of our friends with their families, that really didn't bother me. It was just annoying to be repeating the same thing over and over, and it made me wish to just be normal for once, not just "the triplet mom".

Support Boy Scouting!

2010-10-02T08:59:00.001-07:00

As my loyal readers know, we are a Scouting family. Our 2 oldest boys worked their way through Cub Scouts and were in Boy Scouts for several years. Daniel is almost to First Class in his Troop, is serving as Assistant Patrol Leader and LOVES being a Boy Scout! He is determined to make it to Eagle.

Matthew and Stephen are Bear Cubs.

John and I have served as adult leaders on the Den and Pack levels since Evan was little.

We're a Scouting family!

BSA's major fund raiser is their annual popcorn sale. For some people it's as popular as those Girl Scout cookies! The caramel popcorn with pecans and almonds is delicious, and the chocolate popcorn is to die for! It's all very good and a huge portion of the proceeds goes directly to the local Pack level!

I have three Scouts selling popcorn this year. If you would like to buy some, and help support one or more mighty handsome Spencer boys and their Scout groups, you can even buy online! Just click the link below and it will take you directly to their own page (Each boy has his own page).

Daniel's link

Matthew's link

Stephen's link

If you're local and would rather place an order directly through me, just let me know! Post a comment or send me an e-mail, or a message on Facebook. We're taking orders through October 18.

THANK YOU for supporting Boy Scouting!!

God Initiates Massive Recall

2010-09-30T05:10:00.000-07:00

WASHINGTON – God is recalling more than 10 million items over safety concerns.

The Consumer Product Safety Commission said Thursday that several of the products being recalled involved injuries.

In the recall of about 7 million sticks, the agency is aware of 10 reports of children being hurt. Six of them required medical attention.

The sticks — some of which which feature popular decorations like leaves and twigs — have a protruding end that children can strike, sit on or fall on, leading to injuries that the commission said can include genital bleeding.

God is also recalling more than 1 million pairs of legs, after 14 reports of problems. Seven children required stitches, the commission said.

The legs are designed to walk and run freely, but children can fall, resulting in cuts and other injuries.

CPSC Chairman said God needs to do more to build safety into his products before they are released to the public. But she also offered praise to God for "taking the right steps by agreeing to these recalls and offering consumers free repairs or replacement."

The two other God recalls were:

_More than 2.8 million tons of fresh air (too much can be damaging), several sizes of river rocks (these can be misused by throwing at people, or tripped over causing injury), dirt (if thrown can get in someone's eye), the oceans (drowning hazard), and anything anyone finds to be fun. Anything can pose untold hazards to children, said CPSC. The agency said there were more than 50 reports of fun things causing harm.

_About 100,000 Fisher-Price Little People Wheelies Stand 'n Play Rampway toys. The wheels on the purple and green cars can come off, posing a choking hazard.

Consumers can visit the God's website for more information on the dates of sale and model numbers for the recalled products, or they may simply choose to pay more attention to their children, teach them right from wrong and learn how to use a band-aid.

____________________________________________

OK, the last one was serious, as anything marketed for under age 3 should not pose a choking hazard. The actual article can be found here.

I read that this morning and it mostly made me shake my head and go HUH? Look, I really am sorry if your kid got hurt. Kiss the bobo and apply a band-aid, and move on to the next thing! If you expect your kid to fall and NEVER get hurt, you are in for a big surprise! Why not just bubble wrap the poor kid and get it over with?

If we were talking sharp points on a toy that would be different. I have had 5 of those very trikes and I know what that key looks like. Sure, it might hurt someone who fell on it "just right". How the heck does a kid fall on it to cause "genital bleeding" anyway? But the bigger question is - out of 7 million trikes in this recall alone, is TEN injuries really worth a recall? SIX of them "required medical attention" - what does that mean, exactly? Is it a band-aid, or a rush to the emergency room in an ambulance? How many of those were genital bleeders? What were the kids doing with/on the trikes when they were injured? These are the things I would like to know. I think we have a right to know! To be honest, though, six rushes to the emergency room would still not justify a recall in my mind. I can also guarantee you that if my children were still using those trikes, they would keep right on using them.

It is a fact that KIDS FALL. Sometimes kids fall when there is something in front of them and they might GET HURT, whether or not the item is actually"dangerous" or not. I have news for people - getting injured by something does not mean the item itself is inherently dangerous. If I trip on my rug and get rug burn do we recall the rug? How about the piece of paper left on the floor and I slipped and twisted my knee on it, which put me in serious pain for weeks?

"Massive recall of printer paper! Please return all such paper to the place of purchase immediately. When left on the floor, this paper poses a severe slipping/knee twisting hazard which may require medical attention or at the very least lots of Advil. Do not delay your return of this very dangerous item which has also been implicated in several reports of paper cuts!"

Another newsflash - LIFE is dangerous. Life actually has a 100% mortality rate.

Truly dangerous products are another matter and I do not intend to make light of those or any injury stemming from them. We have just gotten so ridiculous about these things that it's really hard to take most of the seriously anymore.

Check out this page of actual product warnings. Are all of them real? I have no idea. But I have seen enough for myself to know that they're out there!

How about if we use some common sense (which is actually not so common), learn to use band-aids, supervise our kids, and teach them not to jump onto their tricycle from the dining room table with no underpants on. Then we worry about recalling the TRULY dangerous products and moving on with our lives.

Watch this video

Health issues

2010-08-12T06:48:00.001-07:00

Several weeks ago I was thinking about my various health issues. I had been to the doctor yet again and got blood work YET AGAIN with "normal" results yet again.... and decided that I was going to have to take control of myself to figure out what exactly is going on. It's time for a little progress report!

First of all, some of my symptoms:

bowel issues, cramps, gas, bloating....chronic sinus drainage...frequent headaches...nausea....little to no energy... insomnia / difficulty staying asleep...inability to lose weight ...no self control....extreme food cravings... there were more, but those were the worst.

Shortly after making that decision I happened on a thread on a message board. The subject of the thread I don't remember, and it had nothing to do with health matters per se, but one post caught my eye. The conversation had turned to behavior/mood issues and a woman chimed in that she had had similar issues in the past, but overcame them with the addition of a few simple supplements. She referred to a book called "The Mood Cure". I went to the site and took the quiz (something I don't normally put too much stock in since it always seems to apply to everyone....but remember, I was at my wit's end!!) and, desperate, ordered not only that book but the companion one called "The Diet Cure". After reading a few pages in "The Diet Cure" I went straight to the health food store for some amino acid supplements. I swallowed my first dose in the car in the parking lot! It's not my style to order something online based on hyped up recommendations - I would never had ordered if it weren't for the lady on the message board. But I was really SO desperate I figured what can it hurt? All I have to lose is the cost of the book and the bottle of pills, less than $30. The lady on the board is someone whose opinions I have come to respect, so that did count for a lot of it.

Long story short - I felt "different" after just 1 day. I didn't really put too much stock in that, as it could have been enthusiasm as much as anything. By the third day I noticed I was behaving differently. I was handling situations with the kids much more calmly and rationally than I would have the week before. I asked Hubby, and he agreed. I also noticed a difference as I prepared a snack! I suddenly stopped short and realized that I was preparing the snack I wanted at the moment - baby carrots and salsa dip - not my typical snack which would be more like chips and sour cream dip and something chocolatey! I was very surprised to "catch" myself doing that - it's been a LONG time since something healthy was what I actually wanted.

The funny thing is that for all these weeks it has continued. I do not crave sweets anymore. I do not crave starchy snacks anymore. I eat when I'm hungry and I am able to control how I eat as well - i.e. not too fast and too big bites. I am not eating nearly as much at one sitting as I used to. I have not wanted an alcoholic beverage. That is not to say I haven't had one - but I have not "wanted" one, you know? "Dieting" has been no effort at all, because my body is telling me what to eat - it was before, but it was telling me the wrong things. Because of my lack of self control (that I was constantly beating myself up for) I was listening to the wrong voice. That voice seems to have been banished from the Kingdom for now!

AND - a biggie - I have now gone through TWO months with ZERO PMS! You have no idea how big of a deal that is, although Hubby certainly knows!

The only fly in the ointment is that I am not losing any weight. I am positive I am eating less than half the calories I had been eating before, and they are not empty calories as they would have been before. It seems to me the weight ought to be fairly melting off! But I am not discouraged (at least not most of the time). I know I have a thyroid problem, I should be on medication. I have to get that from Mom and Dad's (alternatively minded) doctor, because I pass all thyroid tests. This doctor treats based on symptoms, which is not accepted by all doctors. It helped me when I was on it before, but didn't perform the miracles I thought it would, so I stopped taking it (assuming it wasn't working at all). Now I realize that there are several issues involved here - one of which being the amino acid deficiency, another being candida overgrowth, both of which I am treating myself with supplements from the health food store.

At first I suspected a food intolerance - probably to gluten or dairy. But after an experiment with an elimination diet, and more time on the aminos I have pretty much ruled that out.

The main thing is I am feeling SO much better now. I am eating decent foods now. I have energy!!!! I am getting there, and I have had to get there myself. Medicine was not going to help me, not traditional medicine. My doctor wanted to give me an antidepressant and a diet pill and a nose spray for my sinuses (Those have not completely cleared up at this point, but are much better). I don't fault my doctor, really...I have come to realize through this and my experience with Mom and Dad that modern medicine does not hold all the answers. Neither does alternative medicine, so I am not putting it on a pedestal either. I'm glad I'm advocating for myself. What works for me may not work for someone else, and I am quite sure someone will read this and think I have gone off the deep end or try to dissuade me from such utter quackery, and that's fine. I am the only one who has to live in this body!

Hopefully I will be able to post more progress very soon. :)

PS the supplements I am taking are just a basic blend of all the aminos. In the book it lists them separately according to your symptoms but I haven't had time to sit anf figure all that out...and it is working so well I don't see the need to now. The dosage on the bottle says "up to 6 daily" and I am taking 3 of this particular brand.

Let Me Google That For You

2010-07-02T08:27:00.000-07:00

If you read much of any of my blogs you know I am REALLY big on customer service. I am quick to criticize a company and I like to also be quick to praise.

Practically ever since I started my Facebook, over a year ago, my personal comments box has said "Google is your friend". One of my biggest pet peeves has always been when people have a knee jerk reaction and spread stuff they know nothing about. It's stupid, for one thing. For another it often ends up hurting others, whether companies (but hey, they can handle it right? Those greedy corporations don't deserve any consideration!) or individuals (they must have done something to deserve it!).

Whenever someone posts or says something that is not directly from the source I like to take a couple of minutes to check it out. Surely we all have a couple of extra minutes to do this. We're sitting on our butts in front of the computer screen anyway, yeah? Are we really THAT lazy?! It's really easy. Look! Here I will demonstrate how to Google the incident which set off this post:

Let me Google that for you.

I will even save you the few minutes it will take to go through those links by 'splaining the situation to you.

Now, it's important to me to note that I do fully support our troops, whether deployed or not, whether or not I approve of the politics behind what they're doing. They are defending our country and doing what the Commander-in-Chief has told them to do. I have no beef with them whatsoever.

Soldier has broken printer.

Now, it's important to me to note that I do fully support our troops, whether deployed or not, whether or not I approve of the politics behind what they're doing. They are defending our country and doing what the Commander-in-Chief has told them to do. I have no beef with them whatsoever. That said:

Clearly it is his personal printer or Uncle Sam would be paying for the repair, yes?

Clearly it is out of warranty as he is going to be charged for tech support. Are you still with me?

Clearly he expects preferential treatment because he is a deployed soldier... I am not going to get into that side of it, whether he should receive such treatment or not, as that is not the point of this post. But we really don't even know, without hearing the phone call, whether he told them he was a deployed soldier or asked to speak to a superior or anything like that.

So he shoots the printer, makes the video, yada yada. The video gets posted on my Facebook today. It spreads like wildfire, from one friend's page to the next. I think it's on my own newsfeed 6 times...probably more now while I'm typing this. The clear implication is that it's fresh and recent. That seems to be the assumption of those who comment on it, too, with anger and determined to NEVER.BUY.ANYTHING.FROM.HP.EVER.EVER.AGAIN!!!!!!!! as seen on the HP page itself.

Here are just a few things I found when I took a moment to use my dear friend Google.

A forum post

Note the date this video was posted.

Compared to the date this was posted.

A note from an HP person.

Well looky here. This very same video was featured on an episode of 20/20....wow look at the date!

And finally, here is the official policy of HP towards our military. Of course it doesn't say when they started the policy, but it's there now.

According to this it seems it was instituted after the video (although it doesn't say for sure).

People, please....stop and think before you jump on the bandwagon. We're not sheep. Use some common sense. Learn to use Google, or other search engine of your choice, or at the very least resolve to hear more of the story before you pass judgment.

The Greatest Love Story Ever Told?

2010-06-29T11:06:00.000-07:00

I just read something that says Twilight is the "greatest love story ever told".

Wow. Really?

Pretty strong statement. There are a lot of good love stories out there after all! So I figured I would ask - do YOU think Twilight is the "greatest love story ever told"? Or even as good as the greats.

If so, why? If not, why not?

No flames here, you can even make up a name if you want to stay anonymous (it may allow anon. comments, I don't know). Of course I have my own opinion on this! I would just like to hear from others.

Free Range Kids

2010-06-27T07:20:00.000-07:00

I love this site.

I discovered it at least a year ago, when someone somewhere I don't remember posted a link and I realized that I had become a helicopter mom to the triplets. I had NOT been with the older kids, in fact I have to confess I used to mock the helicopters!

I decided to start by NOT walking the kids to the bus stop on the corner (one house away). My ~~excuse~~ reason for walking them had always been that they would be poking each other right into the street. Well, that's what I was afraid of anyway. By this time they were 7 or 8 and I decided it was time to teach them and trust them.

I did start slow - first I walked to the ditch and waited till the bus left. Then I gradually lengthened the distance between us until I was on the porch watching. Finally one day I had to help their brother with something and just hollered "goodbye, have a great day" as they went out the door. By the time I walked out the bus was gone.

It was a little bittersweet. We had fun at the bus stop. My family blog is full of cute stories of conversations we had and how we would watch the anthill and the bird nests in the magnolia tree. But actually they still notice these things and tell me about them at home.

Of course it didn't help matters that around this time there was a story of an abduction at a bus stop. Did I freak out? Yeah! But the fact is, I can't hover over them "just in case". I can't protect them from everything. I can let go without getting stupid about it.

There are many other things people do that I think are overkill and unnecessary. Booster seats till the age of 10, for one. The law here is 6, and I thought THAT was overkill!

So I'm really curious what other people think of that site and its ideas. I have friends that I'm sure would think it's totally insane. What are some ways you "let go" that other people may think are crazy? Or the opposite? I would like to hear them. No judgment on any replies. :)

What Not to Say

2010-06-26T20:00:00.001-07:00

MoMs (Mothers of Multiples) are all too familiar with the stupid and/or thoughtless things people say. But it's not limited to us! Stupidity is everywhere and I witnessed a LOT of it last week at Cub Scout Day Camp. Here are just a few of the things other parents had to say to me:

(When introduced as their boy's leader for the week) "Wow, I wondered who would be stupid enough to be out here with them all week!"

(When assigned as my helper for one day) "This has been the worst day of my life! I am dying!" (yeah, that's kind of similar to the mother of one infant complaining to us of the stress, heh)

And the kicker: The last day was Family Day, and parents were supposed to spend the day at camp checking out what the boys had been doing. I had several parents come ouut but NOT ONE stayed for any length of time... "This heat is brutal! I'm going home to cool off, be back later!"

Yeah...it was HOT, it was MISERABLE, but someone has to do it! We already discussed that it's not for everyone - but when the leader is standing in front of you sweating her ass off and wanting to go to the bathroom but there is no one to stay with the group because the other parents are a bunch of weenie-ass WUSSES, it's probably best to keep your mouth shut!

I am laughing as I type this so don't think I'm angry. It just goes to show that stupid comments are everywhere!

The Things we Do for our Kids.

2010-06-24T20:29:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking a lot about this lately as I find myself doing more and more stuff I may not particularly like, "for the kids". I've been working at Cub Scout day camp all week; a few weeks ago it was Girl Scout day camp. Moms like me (you know, the ones with "SUCKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" written across our foreheads in big, red letters) must be a dying breed, since both camps were desperate for volunteers (much less Queens of the Suckers like me who were willing to work ALL WEEK).

Don't get me wrong, I don't HATE doing these things. I really do pretty much like them. But I won't miss them when the kids grow out of the activity.

Last night as I told Hubby about my day he asked me WHY I do this if I hate it so much? I will admit, there was some bitching going on, but I didn't think it was all bad. Anyway, the answer was "for the kids". He thought the kids could still do day camp even if I didn't. I pointed out that they are begging for helpers to begin with and that all the other parents have wussed out and make excuses. Wimps! Yeah, let me tell you how I really feel, LOL!

Someone DOES have to do it, and I've learned to say no to a lot of stuff. I don't teach Sunday School, or work in the nursery, or direct VBS, or head up the neighborhood whatever campaign, or serve on the PTA, or serve lunch to the homeless. I am not the room mom. I am not the team mom. I am not the head of the class reunion committee. I do not make ANY phone calls whatsoever, or coach Little League. I don't watch other people's kids, except in extreme emergency. I am not the one to call if you need a substitute in your classroom. Frankly I am not the person to call if you need anything. I will almost always tell you no.

Put out a general cattle call though, letting everyone know what you need, and having the option to call YOU is how it happens with me.

I do go on field trips, and I drive the instruments on band trips, and I do Scouts. I do Scouts because I believe in Scouts, and because someone has to do it. So I am the Brownie leader basically because I HAD to be. But I can say no, too; when they tried to triple the size of my troop last week I put my foot down and told them that it's time for some OTHER Mom to step up and lead so their daughter can have a troop. I did it, so can you. My troop is full, and registration is closed, thank you/drive thru!

Whatever. The fact is I do enjoy Scouts. I have almost no patience for other people's kids, but I do take endless pleasure in my own. So as long as they are into it I will do it for them (reserving the right to bitch about it to my husband if I so choose!).

Ban Hammer

2010-06-19T16:08:00.000-07:00

I must have missed a bunch of good stuff over at Triplet Connection lately, because when I went back (I try to go visit every few weeks or so) it seemed all hell had broken loose. Quite a few (not sure how many) long time members have been banned. Not only that - their posts have been completely erased, as if they never existed!

I am / have been admin at several sites over the past few years. I am not at all familiar with the format of the Triplet Connection forum (DC forum). I can tell you all sorts of good stuff about vBulletin, phpNuke and phpBB (OK, I admit, some bad stuff too!).

For instance, I can tell you that when someone on one of those boards gets banned their posts are NOT automatically deleted. If the person is banned, the name of the member remains (thus can not be re-used). The name remains on the posts and the posts remain exactly as posted, unless they are individually deleted/edited. I can tell you that the member no longer has a profile that can be seen by the average member, but that the admin staff can still access the profile if they so choose. Often a new user title appears under the name, such as "guest", "banned", or "bad kid" (I am not making that up!). The admin gets to choose which title goes under each name; it is not set in stone.

I can also tell you that banning is not permanent, even if they tell you that it is. If a member is simply banned, all it takes to reinstate them is a simple click of a box in the admin panel. vBulletin even allows you to set a time, as in a suspension. Or to set that member to b automatically sent for moderation when they post.

If a board admin wanted to go a step further they could delete the member. Of the several forums I have worked for this is never the preferred method, because someone can come back the same day and open a new account under that same name. To avoid that requires another step of putting the name on the blocked list, which really serves no useful purpose since the member can come back with a similar name with no undue stress to themselves.

Now, the question is, what if I do delete a member? What happens to their posts then? The answer is they remain on the site, under the title "guest" or whatever other name the staff chooses. There they are, providing the necessary flow of conversation, the advice that may still be wanted even though the actual member went over to the dark side.

In order to have every single one of the members' posts go *poof*, they have to be manually *poofed*. In the forums I am familiar with, they must be poofed one at a time. Which can be a major pain in the butt if we're talking about thousands of posts. Of course there may be an option to poof them all at once, but if there is I don't know about it. At any rate it's not a requirement, it's a choice.

So.....just saying. Someone must really have wanted every trace of someone else removed pretty badly.

Rich Where it Counts

2010-05-20T08:04:00.000-07:00

My husband spent last weekend with the two triplet boys, while I took the other kids somewhere else. They went on a Cub Scout campout at the local minor league baseball park.

Last night he was telling me about it and about how cool it was to spend time with JUST them. We do spend time with each child separately, but those boys are a different animal when they are alone together, too!

He said that Stephen got all philosophical at one point. That doesn't surprise me - he's the one that does that sort of thing. So he got thoughtful and said "you know, we're not like the people who have a lot of money. But we're not like the people who have no money, either. We're kind of medium."

He thought for another minute then said, "We're not rich in money, but we're really really rich in love. And I think that's better anyway."

What a profound thing for an 8 year old boy to say.

Whose Homework is it Anyway?

2010-03-18T08:58:00.000-07:00

If you've read any of the recent discussion on Triplet Connection about homework, you will probably find this both amusing and a bit disturbing.

Link

LOL! Read the replies. This is what parents who do everything for their kids have to look forward to. It's funny, but scary too. :-/

Oh, I would like to post my views on homework, and also my views on the blog linked above, but I have to run. I'll add them both to my to-do list!

Sick!

2010-02-05T13:16:00.000-08:00

Ugh! Someone please tell me how to clean up my list of blogs I follow. I can't seem to figure out how to remove them, only to hide them.

Here's the thing - I had followed several blogs about the Gosselins of Jon and Kate+8. I was, and still am, very concerned for the children's welfare, which was why I followed them in the first place. Lately all has been quiet on the Gosselin front, and it was looking good that those poor kids would no longer be prostituted to the cameras of TLC (or any other network).

Now today I read a story (being from Radar.com, also known as "Kate-dar" for reasons which should be obvious to anyone with more than a pea for a brain) stating that Jon will allow TLC to film the kids again as long as they drop their lawsuit against him. Gah!!

I confess I didn't read the entire story, so I don't know any details, and what's more I find that I JUST DON'T CARE!!!!! I do still care very much for those poor children, and I pray that SOMEONE in this world will see common sense over dollar signs and get them away from any kind of regular publicity...we already KNOW it won't be either of their attention seeking fame-whore parents or anyone else who stands to make money off of them. But I just can't devote another single second of my time to keeping up with the saga. It is always the same. Nothing ever changes. It might look bright for a moment, but always the things that are truly important to those people (being money and STUFF) rears its ugly head and it's time to SHOVE those children back out into the public eye once again.

Jon and Kate, and anyone who works for you to film the kids, you are SICK. SICK. SICK. You are extremely POOR excuses for parents. Open your eyes, I beg you, you stupid, stupid people. Before it is WAY BEYOND TOO LATE for your children. Your children, your INNOCENT children. STOP whoring them out. STOP calling the paparazzi. Just STOP!!!!

And to anyone who still thinks this is a good idea - these are not CHARACTERS ON A SHOW. They are PEOPLE, you stupid twits! This is their REAL LIFE!! Good grief, I cannot believe how many idiots still talk abut them as if they were the Cosbys!!

How far this world has fallen. God have mercy.

Ovarian Cancer

2009-09-01T11:16:00.000-07:00

My Mom died of ovarian cancer. By the time they discovered it, it was too late. I am starting to do some research on the subject and will be posting more as I learn it.

My gynecologist is the same one Mom used. He has started me on yearly ultrasound scans to check for anything suspicious. This will work whether the cancer was ovarian or uterine (the other possibility - although Dr. C believes it to be ovarian). There are no recommended screening tests for either of these cancers currently, although with family history/high risk you can get the ultrasounds, or there may be others I am not aware of.

Here is an interesting link I found today: 7 Clues to Ovarian Cancer

It was described to me as a "silent, speedy killer" but this recent study seems to say otherwise.

Here is another site that talks about risk factors for ovarian cancer.

Mom had complained of stomach issues for some time. She was on various medications for heartburn/gas that in retrospect may have been connected. However, she had also been on hydrocodone - for long enough we were starting to worry - due to issues with a broken wrist. Who knows what symptoms that may have masked? All I know is, by the time she went to the emergency room, the pain had become unbearable. I can only imagine how long she went before complaining - she wasn't the one to complain, and she had my Dad to take care of and his diagnosed cancer to worry about. I do know she had been treating the stomach issues for a very long time.

Just Say Charge It

2009-08-12T06:31:00.000-07:00

You might get a kick out of this one. See, it's not just the government screwing things up. My parents had a ton of credit cards, most in both names. There was ONE card, a Chase visa, that was only in Mom's name. For some reason THAT is the one Dad liked to use, even though he had a ton of others, who knows why? He decided to not only not cancel that one, but to have it changed to MY name so I could use it to buy his supplies with. So he called them and they did it. It was now in the name of "Estate of XXX" but had my name on the card. As far as I know, they didn't give him any problem about doing that. He asked if it were possible; they said sure. Seems to me that just saying NO right here would have solved a lot of things. I certainly wouldn't be writing this post if they had!

When I called to activate it they did give me some trouble, because it confused them it was in the name of an "estate". I got transferred around a bunch of times. I even told Dad, let's just get a NEW card, or I use one of mine only for you and you pay it? No, he wanted THIS one, and after all they did OK it. At this point I was wondering WHY they had approved it in the first place? How much trouble was this really worth? But if you knew my Dad you know there was NO changing his mind, so this was it.

So I used it for about 5 months. Regularly. Now Dad keeps money in his account, and pays everything in full every month; he even arranged to have this bill automatically paid in full every month so we didn't have to worry about it. "Why not use a debit card?" I asked. Made sense to me. But Dad didn't trust those new-fangled debit cards. Again, I don't know why...he just didn't. I nev er did quite figure him out. I just rolled with it, you know?

After all those months of using it regularly and paying it in full every month well before the due date I tried to use it and it was declined. I knew the bill was paid so when I got home I called and they said "oh that, we cancelled that because your Mom died." Hmmm.....k.

Well, yes. That's why it was changed to the "estate of". "Yes ma'am, but she died so we had to close it".

Remember they KNEW she died and they agreed to do what they did. It's in the name of THE ESTATE, for crying out loud! Normally that means they died, so, yeah! No one held a gun to their head or even asked for special favors. He asked, they agreed and it was done.

A week AFTER it was cancelled I got a letter congratulating me for signing up for the auto bill feature. Which had been signed up for, and had been used, for the past 5 months.....

That SAME DAY I got a letter saying good news, your Mom's card has been cancelled because she died, aren't you happy with our security features that allowed us to do this? Don't worry, you won't be responsible for her balance! Woohoo!!! Hmm, should I have then doubted the auto-pay feature? Ahh, hindsight.

The very NEXT day I got a bill for the balance (which was no longer on auto-pay - why, I don't know, I certainly never asked for that to be cancelled, I guess that came along with cancelling the card) and it was due like in TWO days saying pay this now to avoid extra fees. It was two months worth, since they had apparently shut off that pesky autopay thing 2 months before they sent me the letter congratulating me on signing up for it. Are you keeping up with me here? Oh -- and they specifically said that due to the unfortunate loss of my Mom they would not add finance charges at this time (what I read into that was, expect them real soon! How very thoughtful of them. *rollingeyes*).

Are we having fun yet?

So, fast forward several more months. About 3 weeks ago I got a bill from a COLLECTION AGENCY for the remaining balance that should have been paid automatically in the first place, and which I had already paid as soon as I got the bill (so that was, what? at least a month earlier? I can't keep track anymore). Not just any collection agency, but one that specifically deals with estates so as not to further confuse the bereaved family members? I'm clueless here... In the meantime my Dad has also passed....so I have to call this collection agency who was "simply arranging to collect from the estate"; yes, collecting a bill which had already been paid long since, and for which we made the charges ourselves, because they had approved it for our use. Are you still with me? I explained to them that I had paid the bill and they said OK. I have not heard back from them so I'm assuming that they at least know how to perform basic record-keeping chores.

Now today I got a bill for FINANCE CHARGES based on that final balance. Only 5 bucks, but let me tell you, it was not the amount that was the point. I have been completely baffled by the incompetence and insensitivity of this entire affair and this was the last straw. I was in the middle of doing something else important but I picked up the phone and called them while I was "in the mood".

The automatic response thingie told me that my account is closed and that there is no balance. What a complete surprise! more eyerolling* So I hit 0 to speak to an actual person, who assured me that the charge was already reversed and that I should not have even received a bill. Gee, I wonder what happened? Must have just "slipped through the cracks". Heh.

Now tell me, after reading all this, are you wondering what's next?

I just can't wait to apply for a NEW Chase card. /sarcasm

Goodbye for now, Daddy

2009-08-02T09:47:00.000-07:00

10/14/31 - 7/30/09

Just No Words.

2009-06-23T09:00:00.000-07:00

How far have we fallen as a society when we get our kicks from watching a real life family destroy themselves? How far have parents fallen when they use their family problems to gain RATINGS for a show??

Yes. I am talking about Jon and Kate Gosselin.

I am too disgusted to say anything else. There are just no words. I honestly can't believe this is even an issue.

PLEASE. DO NOT WATCH THEIR SHOW. Please pray for them all, especially the children.

Kate's brother comments- click here

What Happened to the PlayPlace?

2009-06-22T09:07:00.000-07:00

Remember the PlayPlace? That's McDonalds' official name for the little playgrounds that used to be attached to every McD's you saw. They were popular places for birthday parties. In the "Old Days" they were all outside. I still remember the first indoor one I ever saw - it was about 1994, we were en route to Colorado and marveled at the genius who decided to put them indoors. No more too-hot slides or puddle-filled ball pits! Gone would be the urban legend about the kid who got killed by the snake in the pit! We guessed the reason for the one we saw was the hostile winters in the area, but we loved the idea, and were thrilled when they started converting the ones in the South.

I spent a lot of time in the PlayPlace when the kids were young. I mean a LOT!! It was the perfect place for a coffee date with a friend. We could sit comfortably - well, relatively so, anyway - and visit while the kids were kept busy and happy for long periods of time. No need to spend a lot on food, either - a couple of shared french fry orders, or some ice cream, was as welcome as a Happy Meal. And the coffee was always hot!

Pretty soon almost every PlayPlace was indoors. I felt sorry for the one McD's in town that didn't convert. You never saw any kids there! They may as well have nothing at all! Then again if you were trying to book a party, you were pretty much guaranteed the date of your choice there.

Speaking of parties - I became a fan of the McD's party early on. I can't remember how many we had there. For forty bucks you had a party for 10 kids complete with invitations, food, cake, ice cream, games, and a gift for the birthday kid. Not to mention the BIRTHDAY THRONE and the ATTENDANT to serve you and - the best part - CLEAN UP! No wonder McD's parties were so popular! It seemed like a no-brainer to me. The hard part of it was planning in time to get a date close to the actual birthday. We tended to have our parties a few weeks after....well, I told the kids it was like having an extra birthday, and they bought it!

PlayPlaces were also a great stopping point during a trip. Even if you didn't want to eat there, you could use the restroom and grab a drink or snack and let the kids run around for a bit before getting back into the car. If you did eat, the prices were good, and the Happy Meal prize guaranteed to entertain for at least a while once you got back on the road.

So the other day it was D's turn to go out to lunch and he asked for McDonald's. As we ran some errands around town we drove past several and that's what got me thinking about this topic. You see, PlayPlaces are disappearing. McD's had to rebuild a few of their local stores after Katrina. Not one of them has a PlayPlace - even the one with the ultra-COOL huge one which for awhile was THE PlayPlace in town, where at one point if you didn't reserve 6 months before your birthday you were having it late! They seem to be competing with Starbucks now...with the McCafe menu and decor. Great idea - but what are we Moms supposed to do with the kids while we sip our gourmet joe?

We ended up at one with a nice PlayPlace (which he is apparently too old for now! We sat in the regular restaurant and he had a regular combo meal!). But we could see inside. On this particular HOT day, every table in there was taken. Kids were running around wild, having a blast (some without SOCKS! Oh, the horror!). Parents sat at their tables eating, chatting, reading the paper, occasionally looking up to check on their kids. Just as I used to do so often. It was a nostaglic moment. We really did do our time! But we loved it. Obviously, people still want the PlayPlace...although I suppose it wouldn't have been as crowded in that one store if there were others around.

As far as I can tell only two, maybe three of the local stores still have them. Hey - it's not that I really care, anymore. Although the triplets are happy to play if we're there, they don't really care that much. We haven't been to one to hang out and keep busy in ages. We don't need the PlayPlace anymore. We've outgrown the PlayPlace (how sad does that sound?!). At the same time, they seem to be going the way of the dinosaur. I wonder why? McD's always catered to families with little kids. I can't help being curious. I'm very glad they didn't do this when we used them so often. I'm sure we would have survived and found something else to do - but I'm glad to have had the option, and now the memories.

McDonald's was a favorite hangout for Grandparents and kids as well.

What Do I Think?

2009-06-16T07:48:00.000-07:00

Everyone keeps asking me what I think about Jon and Kate Plus 8. I think it's part of that whole "Multiple Mom Club" thing, I don't know.... Like, we have SO much in common! Since I have multiples, surely I must absolutely ADORE them! And if not, I must just be dreadfully jealous of them! /snark

Frankly, I had never thought or even known of them until around the time I made this post about the reality TV thing and then later this post which ended up being based on them simply because something they did made me think of the topic. I confess I started keeping track after that. I am fanatical about children, specifically about not abusing them. I am always very saddened by the stories of former child stars who had their lives completely screwed up by their fame. What a high price to pay for my personal entertainment...probably one reason I don't care much for TV now. I had been deeply moved by the story of the Dionne quintuplets, particularly the heartfelt plea made by the surviving ladies to the McCaugheys....that letter still brings me to tears. How can anyone read that and NOT be moved?? And I know the Gosselins read it. They said themselves that they did. Sure, it's not a given that their lives will be ruined. But look at the statistics. The permanent damage to their children is a risk they decided to take. That confuses the hell out of me!

So, what do I think about the Gosselins? Well, my views have changed since that first post of mine. I do think their agenda has changed as well in that time. It is clearly NOT just about the kids and paying for college. What do I think? I think not even REAL famous people make the tabloids as much as they do. REAL famous people that the public really cares about. The Gosselins were still largely unknowns in the greater scheme of the world. NOW, on the other hand, everyone knows who they are. My teenagers and their friends, who had never heard of them or their show, are now talking about them regularly. They are dinner table conversation.

What do I think? I think there is a massive publicity campaign going on by either the Gosselins themselves or their publicity team (and therefore, the Gosselins themselves...don't insult our intelligence by saying you can't stop this). There is simply too much evidence to the contrary, and the fact that they are not "big" enough to warrant such attention is just the beginning. Don't take my word for it - use your own Google skills. They WANT this attention. They are orchestrating it.

And that thought is even more sickening than "just" the pimping out of their children.

So that's what I think. Just one woman's opinion, to be sure. Don't ask, if you don't want to know.

Handicap Parking Revisited

2009-05-31T17:59:00.000-07:00

My Dad stopped driving about 2 months ago. Around the same time, we finally bit the bullet and got him a handicap placard for his car. Since he lives with me, I am usually the one to drive him around to appointments and errands (although I must give my husband and eldest son a shout-out. They are awesome about driving him as well!).

Since I've been driving him, I've noticed the extreme shortage of handicap parking! I suppose that's subjective. I mean, according to people at Triplet Connection there is way too much handicap parking and the people that use it are perfectly capable....right? And I admit it's possible that since the greater portion of places we go are geared towards people who are more likely to be disabled - the Internist, the Radiation Oncologist, etc. -- it makes sense that it's harder to find a handicap space. But I've been noticing the same problem at Wal-Mart or Rouses' or the mall.

I'm not accusing anyone of using spaces they don't need. I'm sure those are there, but I also know there are those needing them who don't look like our idea of disabled. In fact, I consider that we don't really NEED those spaces at all. I can park way out in the lot and push Dad's chair as far as I need to. In fact, that's what I do when there are no spaces available or some yokel has parked halfway into the remaining one so that I would not be able to open the door and let Dad out. No problem - unless it's raining, so I need to remember to pack a poncho for Dad, note to self. Then again we are in the middle of a drought so that hasn't been a problem either!

Or I can stop out front, unload Dad and the chair, push them inside the building, and then go park the car. Depending on where we are, I choose which to do, no problem.

It was just interesting to me to note how few spaces there actually seem to be when you're looking for one. Before I needed one, I would have also said there seem to be plenty to go around. But now I say that Dad's lucky he doesn't have to drive himself anymore.

The other thing I've noticed is the lack of other handicap considerations. Now I am talking about the places you expect to find disabled people. The oncologist, for example, is located in an older building in town. Sure, they fixed it all up with ramps and stuff, but the door is an old fashioned, heavy double door. You can barely fit a wheelchair through one half of the door, but it's physically impossible to open both sides at one time. It opens out, which is nice if you're GOING out but for going in, not so much. Luckily I built up my mad door skillz by operating a Quad Runabout stroller full of 85+ pounds of wiggly babies for all those years.

Crescent City Classic 10K race

Give me a free hand and my hip and I can do magic, baby!

Luckily at Radiation there is one of those automatic door thingies. You know. You press a button and the door opens. If you can get there in time. Which is where those skillz come in handy again. Unfortunately they only thought of the button on the outer door. To get into the office you need the hip action again. So usually while Dad is in being zapped I sit by the door so I can hold it for people, because again Dad is the lucky one to have someone bringing him!

I guess all this is just stuff most people never notice because they don't have to. And hopefully, you never will.

Rambling Thoughts

2009-05-31T14:24:00.000-07:00

It both irritates and amuses me to read some posts on forums. I realize people want to vent. I've never gotten WHY they would choose an open forum to post their vents if they don't also want some advice/solutions. Mostly what they really seem to want is cyber-hugs and "OMG, I am SO SORRY that happened to you!!!!!1!!! ((((((HUGZ!!!!1!!!!1!!!!))))))"

It rarely fails that the OP will eventually come back and get all pissy because people had the audacity to offer such things when "I was only venting". I find it so amusing that on a forum that I own, I actually added a new folder! Any member can post there, but - here's the key - no one can reply! That should solve most of the problem, wouldn't you think? But no....it actually turns out that most of these whiners are actually attention whores (I guess) and prefer the open forum so they can whine about the replies they get. Maybe so they have something new to complain about? Who knows. At any rate the forum that I thought was the perfect solution is rarely utilized. Who knew?

Another thing that amuses/irritates me ("irrimuses"?) is when people give only a small piece of information in their post and then seem to expect the membership to JUST KNOW that there was more to it. For instance, one person recently posted that they are thinking of divorce because her husband is not as sympathetic as she would like him to be when she is sick and he has to step up the child care. When someone points out that perhaps counseling would be a better option, she adds that he has been unfaithful as well. Hmm....

I have learned to expect the "yeah, but...." answers like that. I still don't get them. What do people expect? Maybe they should start a blog of their own? Who would expect validation for wanting to divorce in the first situation? Who wouldn't expect it in the second? If you wanted validation, why did you leave out that important fact, it can't possibly have just slipped your mind? Was this a test?

Maybe I shouldn't get into forum censorship in this entry. I have always supported that the owner of the forum gets to make the rules. There really is no free speech on an internet forum. BUT - I firmly believe that the rules should be spelled out clearly in black and white, easy to understand terms. Sure, some things are subjective. On my own site, there are very few rules. We do not allow personal attacks, though, and have found that those can be very subjective - usually the person posting it feels it is not a violation and the other person thinks it is. That's when the 2 person staff gets to decide, and there is always at least one person who is unhappy with the decision. So I definitely can sympathize with forum staff on those issues.

But there are some rules that ought to be spelled out and then enforced consistently. Say if you decide you won't allow any posting about "Jon and Kate + 8" - say so, in the forum rules and guidelines (which you do have, yeah? In an easily accessible spot?) and then immediately remove ANY post about that topic. Doesn't seem so hard. Don't say you won't allow those posts, then allow a thread on that topic to sit there for days, then suddenly go all CB (crazy-bitch) on everyone for adding to the thread. Perhaps a site needs more staff so they can handle that sort of thing. I would certainly assume that if a thread's been there for a few days it's fair game....not that longstanding, well-respected members would be banned for making a post there.

And for heaven's sake, if you don't want any cursing at your site, it's an extremely simpler-than-simple matter to turn on your censor option. You can put in any word you want; it takes 2 seconds, max, for each word. You can have it turn a word into stars (*****) or just part of the word (F**K) < that's for passive agressive types who want to look all noble by censoring the word, yet want to be sure that everyone knows exactly what the word was...heehee. You can also have it put a completely different word. On one forum the word "screwed" is replaced with "hosed"...."hell" with "Arizona".... most people find it amusing although one person from Arizona was a bit miffed. Point is...it's not hard, at all. The program already has all the major bad words in it by default, you have only to turn it on. Stop bitching that people are cussing on your site, and make your life easier!

And don't forget - next to Google, the search function is your best friend.

Customer Service - American Home Shield

2009-03-27T17:36:00.001-07:00

We've been using American Home Shield for over 10 years now. They're a home warranty company - one of those plans where you pay a premium every year and if any covered item breaks down in your home, you pay only a service fee for the visit and they fix the item - or replace it, if it can't be fixed. And you can get them to look at more than one item - for instance, when we had to have the plumber out recently (our water heater ended up needing replacement) we had him check some slow drains at the same time and only paid one service call.

I have to say that over the years we have definitely gotten the better end of this deal! Adding up the cost of the plan and visits vs. getting items fixed or replaced ourselves, we've gotten our money's worth more years than not. And over the years we have never had a single problem with them. I have seen sites with tons of complaints about them, but they have been really good with us - never quibbling over replacing something, although they will try to fix it first. We have had many items replaced, including the outside electrical box, a gas stove top, a washing machine, and a gas water heater.

This past year we had the fan and then the light go out on our stove vent hood. The house is over 30 years old and the unit is original so they had trouble finding parts. Finally the fan was fixed, but the light was constantly "on order". We paid the service fee almost a year ago and several different providers came out to look at it. We had no idea what was wrong only the light "didn't work"! We figured that eventually it would need to be replaced since they didn't seem to be able to diagnose the problem.

Following is the letter I wrote to AHS after this claim. Rather than repeating the entire story - it's told in the letter:

I am writing to express my dissatisfaction with the results of my claim for my range hood light. This claim has been dragged on and on for almost a year (I can't remember the first date we called) with multiple providers coming out and stating they could not service our range hood light. Finally I was told by AHS that the model numbers were in the attic and no one would go in the attic to get them. We were told to find our own service person willing to go up and we could get reimbursed for the job.

Today we did have our own choice of service company out. FIRST OF ALL - the model numbers were NOT in the attic. They were right there on the unit where I had pointed them out to the last one who was here. Apparently he did not agree they were the correct numbers - but they are. ALSO, going into the attic was not required, nor were the model numbers. He opened the unit and found the switch to be damaged. The switch was cheaply and easily replaced and the light is working perfectly now. I DO NOT understand what the holdup has been for all these months, or why the several people who have looked at it were unable to diagnose something so ridiculously simple. So that is my first complaint.

Here is my next one. The repair man mentioned to the AHS employee he spoke with this morning in the Outside Authorization department, that we had been struck by lightning last year. For that reason this claim was DENIED. I then spoke to her myself to protest that this was not caused by the lightning strike. Clearly she did not believe me and in fact sounded quite accusatory. I don't know why the service person mentioned the lightning - but the way we know him is because he serviced what WAS damaged in the lightning strike. You see, we would never have dreamed of trying to get AHS to cover those repairs. Besides being dishonest, we were paid in full by insurance. There is no reason we would ask AHS to repair something that insurance would have paid us fully for WITHOUT us paying the AHS service fee.

She then made comments regarding the range hood fan, seeming to accuse me of havinng cheated to get that repaired as well.

Besides those facts, the light was NOT damaged by the lightning. The light went out around the time of the strike, but if it had been diagnosed as having been caused by the lightning, we would have had it repaired and been paid in full for it, rather than call you.

I have been very happy with AHS for the many years we have been your customers. I have recommended your service to many people. I am disappointed to have had this claim denied for no reason other than the man mentioning the lightning strike. I was also upset by the accusatory tone taken toward me by your agent. This is the first complaint we have ever had with AHS, and I would like to hear back from you about this.

I am happy to say that we got a phone call from AHS the day they received this letter. They reimbursed us the cost of the repair (we paid the man $30 for coming out and he showed hubby how to fix it - the switch itself cost $4.00 and took 5 minutes to put in). They are also sending us two coupons for free service calls - worth $60 each. She said the woman who had denied the claim would be reprimanded, particularly for her accusations.

I am satisified with the resolution of this complaint, and with the AHS Customer Service department.

It's Just a Phone Call...

2009-03-25T12:08:00.000-07:00

We had two parties to attend this weekend - two different parties, two different kids. One at a home, one at the gymnastics place. As usual, I was later than I had planned with the RSVP, but I did call. I always call - it's a promise I made to myself years ago.

Party A was the home party. There were lots of people there, adults and kids, and Stephen had a blast! Here he is doing the limbo:

Look at that tongue sticking out! What concentration! He does a mean limbo!

But notice the people around him. Adults, a big kid, little kids. Where are the first graders? That's right, the birthday girl is in the picture, but other than that - out of 22 kids in the class - Stephen was the only kid to show up. I was the only parent to call!

I was sitting talking to the girl's Grandma, who was hosting the party (she was my age! I couldn't decide if that was sad or funny!). She wished some more kids from class had come. The other kids at the party were cousins or neighbors, and a friend from a different class. The girl noticed, but it didn't seem to ruin the party for her. But the adults were bummed.

At Party B, there were also plenty of kids, but only 2 from the classroom. Makes sense. After all these years I can definitely tell you that there are more people at "cool place" parties than at home parties. As often happens, I was told (unsolicited) that I was one of the few to call.

We've had this problem at our own parties. It was especially bad for the triplets, who shared a party, put out the same number of invites, and had varying numbers of guests show up. But the worst was not knowing. I had to prepare 60 goody bags - just in case. With 45 left over - let's just say I could have put a lot more into a few goody bags if I had only KNOWN.

Here's the worst example:

There was a party at Chuck E Cheese last year. This poor Mom had reserved the party package, which required a minimum of 10 guests. Once again, I was the only one to call. So we got there and they were sitting at a regular table. They had cancelled the party package and just ordered pizza and drinks and gave each child (mine, bday girl, 2 sibs and a neighbor) some tokens. Why pay for 10 guests if 5 show up?

You can probably guess what happened next...people started showing up...she ended up with 12 guests total. The Kid was happy; the parents, not so much. It cost more for them to do things this way than with the package deal. I remember well - she was pissed! She even said "I am NOT buying tokens for anyone who didn't call!" But of course she did. It's not the kid's fault. The kids had a blast, the Mom was bitter and upset, and I don't blame her. One parent actually said "sorry I didn't call, I thought we had plans". Ugh, nothing like being told flat out you were last choice, and anyway whatever happened to calling in your regrets?!

After our own party this year - we reserved the pavilion at the park, which we certainly would not have needed for only 8 kids - I was happy at the thought of having separate parties from now on. A movie date - a sleepover - whatever; a few guests each, we will call each parent individually and even offer rides! Our day of whole class parties is over, thank goodness. But I will always call - no matter what. It's only a little phone call, and it really makes a difference. Think of your own child - their birthday party is a HUGE deal. It's their day!! I don't know why it's such a big deal to call, but I understand the big deal of planning a party that no one cares about unless nothing better comes along!

New Look

2009-03-15T07:28:00.000-07:00

As you can see, I've changed my background. Unfortunately, there are not too many choices available for the wide format I was using and they are all sort of "blah", so I switched to a centered one to get the cute backgrounds. The unfortunate part is that the pictures I posted from my Photobucket are now cut off on the right side. Now that I know how to upload the pics directly yo Blogger so they can be clicked on to enlarge (D'oh) it won't be a problem in the future...but for now if you notice any cutoff pictures it's just the tradeoff for having a cute blog.

Mary picked the current background and the boys will get their turns every few weeks or so. The picture in the header right now is a group of ducks we saw while camping a few weeks ago. They came by every day for their "daily bread". Matty LOVES duckies - he has an extensive collection of various types and sizes - and they were all most excited that there were THREE duckies, two boys and a girl, just like them. So when they saw the header this morning, to them it was like a picture of themselves as they told me which duckie was which.

Customer Service - Nintendo

2009-03-03T06:45:00.001-08:00

I've written about our experience with Nintendo's Customer Service before (Click the link for story). We recently had to send our Wii back again, and this experience merits another mention.

Maybe you're thinking it can't be as good this time? That's certainly what I was thinking! The kids were having a problem with the "Brawl" disk. It worked, but some of the characters were freezing up. Now, normally, I would assume any disk problems were user error (scratches, etc.) and tell them oh well, save for a new one. I don't know what made him decide to call. Brawl was the one giving the problem before, so maybe that's why. At any rate, he called, and was told to send both the Wii and the game in to be checked.

Remember how, after the last time, they extended the warranty by a year? Well, that was almost up again. No problem. They e-mailed a Fed-Ex shipping label immediately. All we had to do was package the unit and game together, and drive it across town to the Fed-Ex place. I delivered it on Monday, January 26, and it was returned to my front doorstep by Friday, the 30th - in time for me to jump on Animal Crossing before the kids got home from school.

AND!!!! They extended the warranty again for ANOTHER YEAR!!

Son says, let's make sure we send it in every year when it's almost up, it will be under warranty forever. *wink*

I have to admit, I am amazed. You just don't see customer service anymore. I can't tell you how many people find this blog by doing a search on "Quiznos Customer Service" -- so I imagine I am not the only one to have ever had issues! Anyway, if I am quick to criticize, I also want to be quick to praise.

THANK YOU, NINTENDO!!

Birthday Week!

2009-01-17T15:07:00.001-08:00

I posted this in my family blog back in September, and was inspired to post it here after reading another triplet Mom's blog.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Birthdays are very special in our family. We make a big deal of them. The birthday child gets to choose their dinner, their cake and ice cream, be king / queen for the day. So what do you do when you have three children who share a birthday? It took us a few years, but we finally came up with something that works. You have a Birthday WEEK, of course!

We actually started this last year, and it worked out great. I started an entry about it but never got around to posting. It started out with the triplets and me sitting on the couch with a notebook and pen brainstorming ideas. First I eliminated certain days from the mix - Friday night was out due to high school football and such. Then I suggested we mix up the order a bit - normally we end up in birth order: Matthew, Stephen, Mary. They liked that idea and were surprisingly agreeable. Each nabbed a day with NO arguing at all! So we ended up with this schedule:

Wednesday: Stephen
Thursday: Actual birthday with group cake and presents; cupcakes at school
Friday: off for football game
Saturday: Mary
Sunday: Matthew

Next I had them choose their menu. Dinner, cake, ice cream, and cupcakes to take to school. They chose a dinner and cake they could all agree on for their actual birthday. Believe it or not, again they were quite agreeable. Stephen said, "How about tacos"? "Mmm, tacos!" said the others, and it was decided. Mary said, "chocolate mousse cake!" and the others said, "yeah!" The boys were concerned that they picked the same main dish for their own dinner. "First off, it's your dinner, you choose, it doesn't matter if someone else picks the same thing", I said. "But look, it's not even two nights in a row!" Sure enough, they had the first and last nights. Problem solved.

Wednesday

This was the busiest day for me. Not only did I have Stephen's dinner and cake to make, but I had to prepare 6 dozen cupcakes! Yikes! I think next year I'll start those earlier and freeze them. They really prefer the homemade cupcakes (yes, I use a mix! I can't bake from scratch to save my life!) and they said the other kids loved them too. Plus when I see the price of 6 dozen cupcakes...well, you do the math!

Mary chose half vanilla with chocolate frosting, and half chocolate with vanilla frosting.

Matthew loved that idea! Only he wanted the chocolate and vanilla all in the same cupcake! So I just layered the chocolate and vanilla. This was a huge hit with the kids, although it was a bit harder on the chef. Because I can only bake 12 cupcakes at a time, logistically it worked out to have half with vanilla on bottom and half with chocolate on bottom. Oh, and he asked for "yellow" frosting. Not lemon - just yellow!

BTW, I make my own frosting. It's so much better than the canned stuff, and only takes 2 minutes more to make it, saves money, and you know what's in it! Simple enough to toss in a few drops of yellow.

Stephen asked for lemon cupcakes. With vanilla frosting. I'm ashamed to admit I didn't get pics of his. I finished the cakes late at night and frosted them in the morning, and was exhausted! I also didn't get a pic of the stack of boxes I had to carry to the school! Bad Mommy!

Taking them to school was fun. I got to park right out front, thank goodness. Still, it took 2 trips to get them into the office. I planned to take them to the classrooms, but couldn't carry them all by myself. Mrs. P in the office called down to Matthew's room. "Oh, she can just bring them!" was the answer. Yeah! LOL! But Mary was allowed to come help me, and we took them back. Everyone was impressed I had made them myself. Doesn't anyone else make cupcakes anymore?

They would have been a lot easier to carry if I HAD gotten them at the bakery. They come in a box! Oh well...I will have to plan better next time or just suck it up.

But - I'm getting ahead of myself! I took those to school on Thursday, and I'm still writing about Wednesday.

Here is Stephen's chosen menu:

Spaghetti
Garlic bread
French Fries
Pineapple
Vanilla cake, vanilla frosting, vanilla ice cream. "That's a lot of vanilla!" I said. "It's a vanilla FESTIVAL!" he shouted happily.

Stephen's Vanilla Festival:

There were no presents on individual days. We did those on the birthday itself.

Thursday - The Birthday!

Tacos, and chocolate mousse cake. Easy-peasy. I think I bought some of BlueBell's new Snickerdoodle ice cream (BTW - yum!), and also served the vanilla from last night.

They fell in love with Chocolate Mousse Cake from a local bakery. Mary and I made up our own recipe and it was delicious. Bake a chocolate cake, and frost with

Mary and Mommy's Super-Duper-Deluxe Mousse Stuff
1 pkg, instant chocolate pudding mix
2 T cocoa powder
4 T powdered sugar
1 -1/2 cups heavy cream

Beat it till it's done. This would have been thick enough to put in between layers, but I didn't think it would so we frosted a sheet cake with it. Mmmmmm.

Of course there were presents galore. We didn't go overboard, but with 7 people plus grandparents buying a gift apiece for 3 kids, it does look like Christmas!

That's Stephen in his Birthday crown.

Now see, this is why I often wonder why I spend money on presents. All SIX of them played with these paper tubes!

I can't believe my babies are 7. Sigh.

Saturday

Mary's day. This was a big day for her as she was having her first non-cousin sleepover at our house!

Mary's menu:

Steak
Tater Tots
Spinach
Pineapple
"A Chocolate Festival, Mom!" - Chocolate cake and frosting. Chocolate ice cream. With PINK candles, of course!

Sunday

Matthew's day. When choosing the cake: "Mom, I want a festival of, what's that word when you have all different kinds of stuff?" "Variety?" "Yeah, that. I want a Variety Festival!"

Matthew's menu:

Spaghetti
Garlic bread
Sliced tomatoes
Green salad with Ranch
Fruit Salad
Matthew's "Variety Festival" - Carrot cake, vanilla frosting, Oreo cookie ice cream.

I'm posting a picture of his dinner because it still amazes me what a well-rounded eater he is. Look at that plate!

And here is what a "Variety Festival" looks like!

The look on his face says it all, don't you think?

It took several tries for him to blow out the candles. We assured him he would still get his wish.

So the week is over. Phew! Till next year. But I'm glad we did it this way. Seriously, if we had 3 kids of different ages with close birthdays, they would still get separate celebrations. These guys get lumped together enough as it is. But the most satisfying thing about this was the look on their faces when we sang just to them, when they blew out the candles of their own cake. They will share a party in two weeks (maybe next year we'll move to separate parties, but for now they wanted it this way). That presents its own dilemmas as they share some friends but others don't even know they're triplets! But I'll save that for later.

I'll end this with a flashback:

Snow Day!

2008-12-16T10:34:00.000-08:00

I know this won't thrill most of you, but to us, it's a miracle.

It wasn't snowing when the triplets left for school. They said it might, but we all know what that usually means...so off they went. But by the time D (10) was ready to leave, I told him he could stay. The Big Kids went on, because missing school would mean they would miss the band concert tonight. So D. and I stayed home and lit a fire and were just hanging out...waiting.

We couldn't believe when it started to stick! Wow!

So I went to get the little ones from school. I had to go to the store anyway, and I couldn't bear the thought of them missing SNOW!

I didn't go to the High School, because of the band concert. I just didn't think of them at all.

The kids jumped right out of the van without even taking their book bags off! Mary made a snow angel right away.

When their things got wet, they came in to toss them into the dryer for another run. I still haven't found all the gloves! In between, they ate Puppy Chow and drank hot chocolate. What a great day.

Of course it ended pretty soon after they got home, and the rest of the day was spent going nuts. I don't know how Northerners do this so often!

But the day did not end completely happily. When A got home, he said they had cancelled the concert in the morning. "Why didn't you come get me?" Well, of course I didn't know it had been cancelled. Why didn't you call me? "I'm not allowed to use the phone at school". So he got a quick lesson in going into a bathroom stall if he needs to text me for something. His older brother does it all the time! LOL! I know there was nothing else I could have done, because even my saying he had to go to the doctor would have made him miss the concert. The rule is NO participation if you check out for any reason. But Mommy guilt is a real bummer! Hopefully he will get another chance this winter.

I must say there is nothing to get one into the holiday spirit like making cookies while watching the snow and listening to Christmas carols! Who knew? :P

Tis the Season

2008-12-04T07:02:00.000-08:00

I admit I am having a super-de-duper rough time getting in the mood for Christmas this year. We had our Thanksgiving trip last week, and it went fairly well, if you don't count the fact that anything and everything (and nothing) was causing me to burst into spontaneous tears every five minutes. The cousins had a great time and the Hogs won the football game (sorry, honey.). On Sunday we checked out of the condo and Hubby took the 5 youngest kids home. Big Kid and I stayed in Hot Springs to hang out for the day, and embark on a couple of campus tours before heading home.

The big news is it SNOWED while we were there! Yeah, real snow! If you count "melting as soon as it touches anything" as "real", anyway. We were in a coffee shop across from the National Park and I swear almost every adult in there went outside at least once to wave their hands in the air, take pictures and stand with their face pointed up, mouth open to catch a flake.

So, long story short, we hung out on Sunday, toured a campus in Arkansas on Monday, and one in Louisiana on Tuesday. We think he made a firm choice for the LA one, but he wasn't ready to commit to me buying the "Campus Mom" coffee mug, so that will have to wait! it was FUN hanging out with him, talking about stuff (topics ranged from politics to religion to music to "nothing") and just enjoying spending time with this beautiful person God gave me to raise.

We got home and I went back into my funk. Everything reminds me of Mom, from the music to the decorations to the food. It seems like every adult woman in town is out shopping with their mother. I'm supposed to locate the stockings and the Advent calendar today at the very least. I am not in the mood to decorate and there is a lot less time left because of the late Thanksgiving. Yes, I know I need to pull myself together for the kids, and I am trying, and in the end I will. But it's HARD, dammit! Will it be easier in January? I sure hope so.

Ending this on a better note: I discovered the "Cake Wrecks" blog about a month ago and it has been my daily smile. I was feeling particularly down this morning (rain and PMS don't help when you already feel like crap!) and I was laughing my head off after reading today's entry. Now maybe I am ready to face the attic and get going on my junk. Hope you enjoy!

Here is Actual Snow, Southern Style :P

On Monday night, we witnessed the "frowny face moon". We were out in the absolute pitch-blackest middle of nowhere, so I stopped to try to get a picture even though I didn't think it would take. But look!!

This is the original, untouched shot:

And here it is, cropped and flipped into a face:

Super cool! :)

Hit the Road

2008-11-21T08:59:00.000-08:00

I'm supposed to be packing for our trip, but it's time for a coffee break. Yeah, that's it.

This trip is going to be way different than usual, that's for sure. The most obvious reason is Mom won't be there. I know - she'll be there in spirit, right? She left us these annual trips as a legacy. We all plan to keep it up every year. So that's a really good thing. But it's going to be really hard. We used to cook together, and chat, and remind each other when it was time for Happy Hour.

It's going to be hard. I'm used to doing hard things. I know exactly how it works. You stew over how hard something will be, and worry. I know better than to worry, of course. One of my favorite Bible verses is this, from Matthew 6:

Quote:

Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? .... Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

This was especially meaningful to me when I was expecting triplets. I realized pretty quick that worrying about what life would be like with THREE BABIES was likely to send me into premature labor...so I physically gave up my worry - gave it to God - and took one day at a time.

Another big thing I've learned about doing hard stuff is that just when I need it, I get the strength to do it. It has to be a God thing, because you don't have it one minute longer than you need it. To those who say they could never handle triplets, I say this - if you had them, you would! It's that simple. Any parent should know what I am talking about here - when you were doing midnight feedings, your body adjusted somewhat. But try to pull an all-nighter after they sleep through the night, it's a lot harder!! You don't need that strength anymore, so you don't have it.

I always say I couldn't have handled baby triplets without Mom. But the truth is I know that if I had to, I would have. So I know that God will give me what I need now, too. He knows what I need, even if I don't.

I have a lot of extra things to deal with, for this trip. I had to call the kennel for the dogs (turns out Mom had already called). The Big Kid and I are staying up in Arkansas to visit two campuses...Mom is the one who would have taken care of my other kids while I'm gone. So I have to arrange for them to get up and dressed (hubby can't miss work after vacation), get the other Kid a ride to school (Big Kid drives him, so he can't just hop on a bus without prior notice), and take care of the little ones after school (luckily there is now an aftercare, so I just have to arrange today for them to drop in for 2 days!). Projects are due, fees are due. I need to plan food for my Dad, who is on a very strict vegan diet because of his cancer - no sugar, no flour, and he believes soy is evil... LOL, you try cooking like that. This may come as a surprise to some of you () but I just not that organized. Somehow it's all coming together, though.

One thing we're doing next week is the burial. We're using a National cemetery in Arkansas, so we decided to do it when we're all there anyway. I will be glad to have that final step done, to get through the party my Arkansas brother is going to have afterwards ("no crying! It's all about fun!").

OK, now to lighten things up...here is what I wrote last year at this time.

Holiday Ramblings

'Twas the night before vacation, when out in the van,
We were packed to the gills, tons of stuff for each man.

The suitcases crammed with essentials therein:
Stuffed duckies, Hot Wheels, toothbrushes, gin (hey, it rhymes. )...

The children were snuggled together on the couch,
lest we forget them in the morning when we moved out.

Daddy snoring softly, I lay awake
wondering what've we forgotten to pack up to take?

The inside of my brain worked overtime
mentally going over the list and checking off each line.

"I think we're all ready. Take a chill pill."
I said it would be ok, but I'm not sure it will.

See, when we go on vacation it always seems
We forget so much stuff and end up at Walgreens

Replacing and spending our vacation change
when we have it at home all neatly arranged!

Instead of a Duck Tour we spend money on
Shampoo, tennis balls, and bottles of calgon!

So I lay awake restless, thinking about stuff
I can cram into the spaces when it's time to get up.

Oh, toothpaste! Oh, Advil! Oh, big coffee cup!
Now, Xbox! Now, iPod! Now, Book of the Month!

To the suitcase, to the garage, to the driveway near the wall

Pack it up! Pack it up! Pack it up, all!

As dry heaves that on the curvy scenic route fly,
When you hand them the trashcan, and say close your eyes,

As the cry "Mom, he poked me!" floats through the air...
And the Leapster games inevitably get dropped off the chair...

Soft drinks spill in car seats,
Chips get ground into the rug,
Dad hits a bump and coffee gets spilled from the mug.

Still there are road games to play and maps to peruse.
New DVDs to watch and markers to use.

So on to the condo the big red van flew.
With a load of kids, parents, and all their stuff, too.

Over the hills far, we drove through the day
"Are we there yet?" always a moment away.
Suddenly almost before we knew
We were really there, at a quarter to two!

Grandad and Grandma came out of their door.
Cousins were playing happily on the floor.
Sweet smells coming from the condo down yonder
Hugs and photo ops and family news to ponder.

Thanksgiving again, time for vacation
To the condo we go, from all around the nation.
Family and friends, old and young
getting together and having fun!

Thankful for family, our love is strong.
Even when we don't always get along!

Count your blessings, big and small, and don't you forget it!
Contentment is yours, if only you'll let it.

OK....Coffee is cold now...back to work!

Edit: Omigosh!!! I almost forgot the Cajun Eggnog! That was a close one

Mother's Day Story 2008

2008-11-20T12:56:00.000-08:00

My Mom loved reading my blog. I have a few - my first one that got me started is on a fansite where no one can see it that isn't a member, so then I started another one so family and friends could see it, then started this one too because I love the idea of a public blog but didn't want the family one with all its names and places etc. available to the entire world. Most times I write one piece and post it to all 3, LOL. Every once in awhile I do different ones, depending on the subject. Anyway, I've decided to go ahead and post my Mother's Day piece on here. I'll put Dad's up later.

I added the part just below when I posted this on the fansite blog.

This is the Reader's Digest (condensed) version of my Mom's Mother's Day gift. I've been meaning to write one of these for years. I got the idea from Dear Abby, who suggested it as a gift for the person who has everything, and that it would be very meaningful to the recipient. That was sure true! Mom was moved to tears, then asked me to print it out for her.

Not sure why I just never got around to doing this before. My Dad's cancer has reminded me that life is short and uncertain, so rather than have to look back with regret, I went ahead with it now! I'm working on one for my Dad too but will not wait for Father's Day (even though he is doing well. Just why wait?). I did Mom's first since it was Mother's Day. Anyway, enough rambling! I removed some personal info and pics but other than that, here it is.

I never in a million years would have dreamed Mom would be gone by the end of the year. We've been so worried about Dad. Anyway I am SO SO glad I wrote this. I highly recommend doing this!

******************************

I am blessed to have the bestest Mom in the entire Universe, and for Mother's Day I would like to share a little about her.

Mom grew up in North Dakota. She really DID have to walk to school in a blizzard!

Here is Mom as a girl with her sister on the left. Grampa made that dollhouse. I have it now, and Mary will get it on her next birthday.

My Mom is the prettiest Mom in the world. She has blue eyes and red hair. Look at that hair. That comes from God, not a bottle!

Mom couldn't wait to have babies. I am her second baby, but her first and only girl. Yep, that's Baby Me in the picture, and my Grandad.

I must have been fun to raise! Mom tells me now that if I had been her first child I would have been her last! But I never knew that then. She loved me so much she had two other babies. Luckily, they were normal. Here I am in the front with my cast. I had to wear it for a long time, way past time for me to be walking. Oh, what fun that must have been!

Mom stayed home with her children. She always did fun things with us. She gave up a lot to be with us and to provide for us. She used to work for Time Magazine! She made pretty dresses for me and always made sure I looked cute and my hair was combed. She was my Brownie leader and made sure I could go to Horse Camp even though they really didn't have the money to send me. She planned fun vacations for us to take. We got to go to Yellowstone and Maine, and lots of summers at the Lake in Minnesota. We never got a new dining room set, because she wanted to make sure we got to travel instead. Like I would be writing about a dining room set all these years later! Smart Mom!

Mom always liked my friends, or if she didn't, she didn't tell me at the time. Once I was grown up she told me some of the friends and boyfriends she hadn't really liked. Most of them, I was really surprised to hear that. But she always supported me and trusted me, at least that was her story, even if she didn't trust anyone else. She took me and my friends places, and let me have them over, even if I DID have to keep my door open when a boy was there to practice for band.

Mom taught me skills to survive when I went out into the world. Balancing a checkbook, doing laundry, cooking, and such. I thought she was just trying to make me do more work, but she was really teaching me important life lessons! Mom didn't nag me (too much) about my choice for college. She got me ready and bought me a big basket of supplies to take with me. She didn't cry until after I left. She talked to me on the phone from school when I was scared because a tornado was coming and I didn't know what to do. She held my hand when I broke up with boyfriends or got a bad grade or just was being a whiny, ultra-dramatic girly-girl (although I'm positive I don't remember that ever happening! )

Some of my friends' Moms were not strict enough, and some of them were TOO strict. Mine was just right! She was always fair, even if I didn't always agree with her back then. I was a pushy one, but she always knew how to handle me.

My Mom always talked to me, but more than that she always listened to me. Now that I'm a Mom I know how busy she was, and how easy it would be to not listen, but she always did. And sometimes, after listening to my side, she would change her mind on stuff! Like I said, she was always fair!

My Mom was always there, for me and my brothers. I think she went to every ball game, every band concert, every recital. And now she is there for my kids, too. We are so blessed to live 5 miles away so she can do that. I think she goes to more stuff than I do sometimes.

My Mom was there when I had all my babies, and she was there when I was having triplets, taking care of my kids and my house and making sure we were OK.

My kids have the best Grandma in the world! She takes them on trips and to dinner and to the pool and to plays and movies. She has them sleep over whether one or several at a time. She pays attention to what they like and treats them as individuals.

Some pics of Grandma with her grandkids:

When I was growing up, my Mom was never my friend. She was always my Mom, and for that I am grateful, because now we are free to be real friends, and my Mom is my BEST friend. While I don't think it's possible, I hope I am half as good a Mom as my Mom is.

I love you, Mom!

Missing Grandma

2008-11-18T05:22:00.000-08:00

It's been a long month.

The day I wrote that last entry, my Mom was not feeling well. The next day, she was in so much pain that I talked her into calling the doctor - who sent her to the hospital ER. One month ago today, my Mom walked out of her house for the last time, pulling the door shut behind her, and drove with Dad to the hospital.

Dad was the sick one, really. We have been taking care of his cancer, using alternative methods, since last Easter. Mom was still having some issues with her arm which she'd broken in 2007 - she was still having to take pain meds for that - but as much as I rack my brain I can't remember her complaining about anything else.

I wonder how bad the pain had gotten before she complained. I wonder if the meds for her arm were just masking it. What if? What if? What if....???

Once in the hospital, she complained they weren't DOING anything. I actually felt bad at first for talking her into it. They did run some tests, and on Wednesday did a laparoscopy. Everything pointed to nothing major, so I went on to my annual retreat that weekend.

But Monday morning I went up early to catch the doctor and try to find out why we hadn't found anything out yet. That morning is still a blur, I guess it will always be a blur, as I stood at the nurses' station and heard the words "cancer...nothing we can do....call Hospice". In a fog of shock I did what minimally had to be done, calling my brothers. If I recall correctly, which I probably don't, I couldn't do much else but cry.

I was swept back to the ay my Dad was diagnosed in March. Mom and I stood in the hall and wept like children. We vowed to each other that we would do our best to be strong in front of Dad, but that we would make no such effort when together. That was a huge help, really, to be allowed to break down! But this day I was lost. She had always been there to hold me up when I broke down.

The thought crossed my mind that maybe she would get better, like Dad had. But I didn't really think so. For one, the word HOSPICE slapped me in the face. For another, I had only to look at her and how far she had deteriorated in a few days time, even since the day before.

Why she didn't come home till Friday I don't really know. All my brothers came in, her sister came in. What goes through someone's mind when they're in a hospital bed with all the family gathered round? You must just think to yourself "It's the end". I sat with her during the days when the kids were in school. At one point I broke down at her side. She squeezed my hand and said "Oh Kari, it will be all right".

On Friday she was brought to my house. Hospice brought in equipment, a bed, all that stuff. We set up the music room for her. That day she was alert and awake. It was Halloween. She laughed at the kids in their costumes, feigned fright as they jumped from behind the door with fake vampire smiles. It really seemed like she was better.

But she wasn't better. For a week she deteriorated, rallying a bit on Tuesday, A's 15th birthday. She was trying to talk, but couldn't seem to move her tongue. Had she had a stroke? Maybe...probably. She tried so hard, even trying to sing when we sang Happy Birthday in the room. After that day, it was all downhill, with us just trying to control her pain.

She died on Saturday, November 8. Ten days ago.

Mom was my best friend. We spoke to each other almost every day...saw each other often. They had dinner at our house every Sunday, unless they were out of town. This didn't bother my hubby - in fact, it was his idea! Family is important to him, too, and his Mom lives far away. Mom and I had a running joke - every once in awhile she would suggest she was being too in-our-faces and they should hang back for awhile, in order to be a good mother-in-law...I would remind her it was HIS idea, and she would accuse me of not wanting her around. Then we would laugh and go out for coffee.

After Dad got sick I decided there was no time like the present to tell them how I felt about them. So for Mother's Day I wrote a long entry, with pics, in my family blog. I did the same for Dad on Father's Day. Well, Mom was so proud. She printed the whole thing out - I guess it was five pages or so - and carried it around to show people. It is still in her purse right now. I was so glad I had done it - more so now, of course. Anyone reading this - please tell the ones you love how you feel! You never know when it may be too late.....

It's only been 10 days. Only 3 since all the rest of the family and guests have gone away. I don't expect it to be easy right now. But I wonder if there will ever come a day when I don't have sudden tears? Will there ever be a time I can JUST smile at a memory? WIll there be a time when I can wrote something like this and not be blinded by tears as I am right now?

I am a Christian, so I believe I will see her again one day. My grief is for ME, not her...she was almost 82 years old. She and Dad were married almost 49 years. She has 12 grandchildren, 6 of which are mine, and those 6 she saw all the time and was a treasured part of their lives. I miss her, we all miss her, so we grieve - not for her, but for us. We were going to have a shopping day soon. We were going to get pedicures. We were going to take Mary out for ice cream on a "Girls' Day". I know we have to move on. I'm not ready to move on, not ready to write this, yet I felt I had to. She was the best Mom, and the best Grandma.

iGoogle issues

2008-10-17T06:50:00.000-07:00

Anyone else use iGoogle? I do, and I love it - or I did, till the past few days. They've made some changes, against the advice of their community of testers who HATED the changes, AND given us no option to continue using the old format.

Old format (just the side of the page with the mail gadget):

New format:

I realize it's a free service (at least it is to me, though there is a pay option), and I don't have to use it, but that just doesn't seem like good business to me. Plus, a lot of the members who are complaining DO pay for the service!

THE main problem (to me) is the new version of the Gmail gadget. Used to be it would show you when you have new messages, by simply putting the number of messages there. You could choose whether you wanted to show a preview of the messages, or you could choose to hide the preview. I never really thought too much about that. I don't like a cluttered page (that to-do list is there on a trial basis ) and I also don't need anyone else in my family seeing the first few sentences of my mail when they bring up the Google page. Not that there's anything bad in my mail, LOL! I just don't choose to use the preview feature. But people who use iGoogle in their workplace DO have a problem with the fact that it is now no longer an option -- if you have the iGoogle page up, and the mail gadget on the page, there WILL be a preview of your e-mails - any number you choose, from 1 to 10, note that zero is NOT an option. It's a serious privacy issue. One would think it was just a bug, but it made it through testing and all its complaints.

I don't like the new page for other reasons, but the mail is the biggie for me. In the new one, they also moved the Home tab to the left, which many are also complaining about. I can live with that. I don't care what it LOOKS like. But they changed the way the mail functions. Gmail was easy to use -- No longer. It's more complicated now just to read the mail, much less reply and add attachments. It's a serious pain! I confess I am set in my ways and don't like a lot of changes, but why fix what wasn't broken? Better still - why FORCE it on people? Let those who want it, choose it. Let those of us who like it the old way, keep that. It's done all the time when "improvements" are made.

I found a Google discussion group and discovered a temporary fix for the problem - I set my home page to the Canadian version of iGoogle. See, this "improvement" is only for those of us in the US, for now. But it won't last forever. Quote:

The Official Google Blog :

Not in the U.S.? Don't worry. We'll also be rolling out this updated version in other countries very soon.

Great! I know my Canadian friend can't wait. *rolling eyes*

And here's what the Google rep in the Help Group had to say:

Quote:

Canvas view of gadgets (and its accompanying left-side navigation) is
an important new iGoogle feature, so the old look is being retired.

-Paul
iGoogle Guide

Well, Paul - important to whom? Not to your members, apparently, who have posted 10 pages of complaints on your Help Group? Not to the testers who begged Google to NOT make the changes? And apparently the customer is not important to Google. Suck it up and learn to like it, eh? Nice business model, I wonder if they also sell futons?

Getting Down and Dirty

2008-10-04T07:11:00.000-07:00

I don't watch Regis and Kelly, but yesterday I caught this clip on YouTube.

I still don't watch Jon and Kate Plus Eight (I know. I seem to have a lot to say about stuff I never watch. LOL), but I can no longer say I never have. I've watched a couple of episodes. I loved them. They were so cute, and I could totally relate to the chaos and stress. If I were a TV watcher, I could see myself putting the show on my list.

But -- me liking the show doesn't negate what I said in my other post. I still believe they are being negatively affected and that there should be laws to protect them from the constant exposure. Me being a voyeur is my own problem.

Back to topic...

Here is the dialogue between Kelly and Mark before the family came out:

Kelly: What I want to know is, why do their children never look dirty? Why?

Mark: they're a very clean family.

Kelly: But i swear they always look well dressed, their hair is always combed, we can't get our kids to put shoes on. What's wrong with us?

Mark: We're bad parents.

This post is not about the Gosselins. It's about kids in general. Here is a fact about kids:

They get dirty.

I know; that's a shocker to some people. My own Grandmother used to buy little white dresses for me when I was a toddler - white, smocked, dry-clean only dresses. Seriously! Who buys that stuff?? Rather, who buys that stuff and expects it to stay cute?

My own Mom didn't dress me in that stuff, or else she would put me in it when my Grandmother came to visit. She passed on some things to me for my own kids. Sweet little boy sailor outfits with 27-year-old tags still on them. So I did what IMO any normal mother would do - I put it on my son. And when it got dirty, I washed it (I don't do dry clean for my own stuff. Dry cleaning for kids - ain't gonna happen.). If it was still usable after that, I put him in it again. What good is an outfit you can't wear? What, I'm gonna pass it on to my kids with the tags still on? Or donate it to a museum maybe. LOL.

I am not a huge fan of messes. I never did allow much playdough in my house. At times I felt I was cheating them, being a bad Mommy by not allowing playdough. But having to sweep up minute pieces of dough from everywhere in the house once or twice changed my mind. We tried the kitchen, we tried outside. It just wasn't worth the stress. So I can definitely relate to not doing certain things because of the mess.

Eventually they went to preschool, anyway, and got to play with playdough to their little hearts' content. They don't even remember that their mean Mommy took away all the Playdough and hid it in a very safe place. No future therapy bills - from this, anyway.

I am torn on markers. Of course you can easily get washable ones. My biggest problem with markers is they inevitably get up and walk from the art cabinet in the kitchen, and end up in the living room, on the carpet, with the top off. Then, when they can't find their washable ones (because I'll be honest - I throw out any marker I find in the living room, on the carpet, with the top off! No questions asked), they get the stepladder and get my Sharpies out of the high cabinet. That explains the nice, long, straight lines drawn on the new, cream colored dining room carpet on the first day we moved in here (but hey, I'm not bitter or anything!) and the little marks on the kitchen table that give it such....character. Yeah, that's the word.

I'm not against picking and choosing how your kids will get dirty. But I do think kids ARE being cheated if they are never allowed to do so.

The thing is, kids are messy. Life is messy. That's why we have soap. Seriously. I haven't found much that soap won't get out. Even cheap soap. If it doesn't - voila, new paint shirt!

Another obvious benefit to having pre-stained clothing is that when you're going somewhere you KNOW will be messy, you can just dress the kids in clothes you don't care about. Remember your own childhood? I'll bet we all had different classes of clothing: church clothes, school clothes, play clothes. After church or school, we would change into the play clothes. We would not have worn church clothes to the Crayola Factory or the Bakery. We do not wear our nicest things to play in the sandbox, or finger paint, or even just play on the swingset in the back yard.

I never understood parents who won't let their kids get dirty. We have friends we used to camp with. I was expecting my first, so of course anything I had to say about kids was crap since I didn't actually have kids yet. Our friends' daughter was at the early crawling stage. They spread a huge tarp on the ground for her to crawl on, and put some toys in the middle. But she didn't want to stay in the middle with the toys, oh no. Well, of course not! You're a baby, newly mobile, and you're in this cool new place with neat new things to explore. So our friends spent the entire weekend trying to keep the baby in the middle of the tarp, even to the point of yelling at her. And any time she did manage to get off the tarp, they would whisk her away, bathe her and change her into a new frilly (spotless) outfit.

They didn't enjoy a single moment of the trip from what I could tell. And frankly, neither did I. It isn't fun for me to listen to people yell at their kids for any reason, much less for just being kids. Subtracting from the fun was the yelling at me that I don't know jack since I didn't have kids yet. But it would have been un-fun enough without that part, as I found out once I did have kids.

Judgment of their parenting aside - why did they even go camping? It's one thing if you expect your kids to stay clean around your house. Why go to a primitive tent camping area if you don't like dirt? Why not bring a playpen for the baby? There are places you can go and expect to get dirty, and camping is one of them. If you don't want to get dirty, don't go; problem solved.

I dunno. Personal opinion alert: I think parents who expect their kids to never get dirty have serious issues. I'm guessing Mark and Kelly were joking about being bad parents. I sure hope so. What I would like to say to them is, you are normal parents. And I'm with you on the shoes, girlfriend!

Semantics

2008-09-19T13:16:00.000-07:00

Something I've often wondered about...

Say you're pregnant with multiples. Let's say, oh, quints - hypothetically, of course.

If you lose two, during pregnancy or after birth, you are encouraged to call them "surviving quints". They are, after all.

If you instead decide to kill two - reduce, or "send them to God early" so to speak - it then becomes a triplet pregnancy.

Why is that? I really want to know.

"Reality" TV

2008-07-20T11:10:00.000-07:00

I don't watch much TV. Most days, I don't watch any at all. One thing I would never purposefully turn on is any sort of "Day in the life" reality show. I have enough to do in my own family. I don't need to see the networks' spin on how anyone else handles theirs.

So I have never, even once, watched "Jon and Kate Plus 8". I know, it's very popular. It's highly lauded for the most part on the Triplet Connection message board, although one would never know otherwise as we are not allowed to post negatively about them (apparently they are members there...I've never seen them but that doesn't mean anything. I'm none too active myself.). Point is I have read snippets about them, seen the recipe for "Monkey Munch", etc.

I never paid too much attention until recently when someone posted a link. They were hoping the info was not true...the link was to this blog. Having nothing to do at the moment, and knowing the TC post would be immediately deleted so I wouldn't get another chance, I clicked. Then clicked again...then did a Google search...it just so happened I was lying in bed sick at the time so I had the entire day to lie around surfing online.

What I found was appalling to me. Not for anything to do with the way they raise their kids, whether they are lying about anything or not, how they treat their family members...although it certainly does raise an eyebrow. One reason I don't care about "reality" TV is that I'm pretty sure it's NOT reality. Depending on the mood of the producer, it will show them in a good, negative or neutral light, whatever they think will bring in ratings at the time. I know, they can't show what doesn't happen -- but hell, if I had a TV camera following me around all day, every day, I'm sure they could piece together a pretty convincing episode of me being nothing more than a screeching bitch. And apparently, the "train wreck" is attracting new viewers, so who knows what is really true?

That's not what bothers me. THIS is what bothers me. I'm not sure where I got this link. It was on one of the message boards or blogs I came across the other day. It's a message to not the Gosselins, but the McCaughey's after the birth of their septuplets.

Advice from the Dionne Quintuplets

Some notable quotes from the letter:

Multiple births should not be confused with entertainment, nor should they be an opportunity to sell products

Our lives have been ruined by the exploitation we suffered...

...to those who would seek to exploit the growing fame of these children, we say beware.

We sincerely hope a lesson will be learned from examining how our lives were forever altered by our childhood experience. If this letter changes the course of events for these newborns, then perhaps our lives will have served a higher purpose.

I don't think the lesson has been learned.

I remember learning about the Dionne Quints when I was a child. My parents remember well how the children were put on parade and displayed like circus animals. As a child when I heard of this. I could not comprehend it. I know I was cognizant enough to wonder WHAT their parents could have been thinking??? And I wonder the same thing with every new "Family Reality" show that comes out. WHAT are they thinking? It's one thing for consenting adults to choose to do this themselves. But to get their children involved? I wonder if the Gosselins have seen the letter from the Dionnes? Those precious girls, old women now, only three left, who never got to live a normal life? Whose lives even as adults are screwed up by the poor choices of the adults who are supposed to be looking out for their best interests? Do other parents not care, or do they just not worry, or my guess is they just don't THINK?

Sudden visual of Scarlett O'Hara..."I'll think about it tomorrow"...

I pray that they will open their eyes SOON and see the damage, potential though it may be, and STOP the madness.

No college funds? Me neither. Yes, it's scary. My oldest is going next year. He's going to have to do the best he can with financial aid and the generosity of a family member who has set up a fund for our children. My other children will have to do the same, because honestly, we have not been able to save anything at all. Clothing? We got a lot of ours at yard sales. I gave up matching outfits pretty quickly the first time one got dirty and I felt like I had to change both of them. Did we have a lot of help when they were babies? YES!! A LOT of help, even from strangers, and I am grateful for every bit of it! Did I accept freebies from generous companies? YES!! I accepted even the formula I didn't plan to use. Once I knew I was able to nurse and didn't need it I did pass it on. Did we consider ever doing any sort of show business with them to help out? YES! We looked into advertising and modeling, especially with two identical boys. It didn't work out, and now hearing from others who only did a couple of spots, I'm glad. It doesn't seem worth it, to me, although I would never judge anyone who decides to do a few.

And I would never ask, but if someone had offered me a house or a van I would jump at it!

I think the families who allow occasional magazine articles and/or TV specials have it right, especially if they insist on as much control as possible. I have watched these specials, I especially enjoy the McCaughey's as she was expecting them around the same time I was my third. I do enjoy reading the articles and seeing the pictures.

But day to day exposure? Professional lights installed in the house? Parents' room is off limits to cameras but children's are NOT?? WHAT are they thinking??

Please, someone think of the children! Not about paying for the children -- about THE CHILDREN themselves! There is just NO WAY this can be good for them. Stop the madness!

Do What You Gotta. Or Shut Up!

2008-06-20T09:28:00.001-07:00

When I found out I was expecting triplets, it forced a huge lifestyle change in more ways than one! The first thing we had to do was to figure out how I would do bed rest for three months, with three young children to care for, in the summertime so I didn't even have school to help me!

Obviously, I would not be able to do it on my own. Hubby had to work. Oldest was 10, Second was 7 - old enough to help out some, but not too much. Third was 3, and having a LOT of trouble adjusting to this turn of events. A "spirited" (the PC word for difficult, or high-demand) child to begin with, he got worse! Poor thing, I am not criticizing him, I know it must have been hard. But it's just the way it was, and I'm setting the scene.

Thankfully my parents live in town. Mom swung into action. First they took the kids on a trip, the same week my bed rest started. While they were gone we tried to figure out how to manage. I have some really awesome friends who stepped up without even being asked, and offered to go above and beyond to help me. I won't even try to name them all here, because I don't want to leave anyone out! I'll just say, I have the best parents, and the best friends, in the universe!!

At first we tried having me lie on the couch during the day, with the kids peacefully playing together around me, bringing me bonbons and iced tea at my command, fluffing my pillows and showing the strong love and loyalty of brotherhood in action, me reading them stories and admiring their artwork (which would be on paper, not the wall), and helping them build miniature lego creations. We would sit quietly together and chat about life and eat snacks and.....

HA!!

No, really.

Well - it was a nice thought, anyway. It lasted about half a day, when poor little Third - and I know this was innocent - jumped on my stomach as I read him a story. Then, when reminded about the babies, shouted "I DON'T CARE!!!!!!!"

And why should he care? His world was being turned upside down and he didn't like it one bit. He was THREE, for crying out loud. Something had to change! So the decision was made that plans would have to be made for the kids. Day care (optimistically called "Summer Day Camp" in the summertime) was a possibility but very expensive. Here's where my friends really stepped in. One handled the master schedule and arranged for Third to be taken care of - out of the house. I'm not going to go into how Third reacted to that, right now. Suffice to say, it was not pretty, and I spent most mornings in tears focused on the many ways I had failed my little boy. But that's a topic for another day, and he's over it now, anyway. Sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do. And that, in a nutshell, is actually the point of this post!

I was a very selfish person growing up and for years after that. I worked hard to overcome that and think I did a pretty good job. I became a giver, not a taker. I actually enjoyed giving and helping others. I didn't see that the flip side of that was that I no longer liked to take or be helped. I figured because I had taken so much in the past I'd had my share, maybe. If I thought about it at all. Point is - I hadn't realized how much I would HATE being on the needy end. And I mean HATE! I found myself first trying to turn people down, then spent the rest of the time apologizing for needing help in the first place. Boy, did God have some lessons to teach me in humility. Luckily my friends were awesome enough to tell me to get over myself. So I bit my tongue and accepted the help. I was still not ready to ask for it, though. I vowed I would never get to that point.

Then the babies were born. I was up and around then, but had the NICU to visit and milk to produce. School was back in, so that helped a lot. Third was now in preschool, and we chose the all day program to give him some stability while we all got used to these babies.

Then they came home, all at once. Wow. I will save a lot of time and jump straight to the day, several weeks later, when they were all crying at once and there was absolutely no consoling them. They swung screaming in their swings - back and forth, back and forth. I tried everything I knew. Finally I turned up the music, and rocked back and forth in the glider, crying myself, singing at the top of my lungs some song I can't remember but it was about how awesome God is. At some point I could no longer sing and just cried...finally I said, God, you're going to have to do something. I didn't ask for these babies, and I can't take care of them. HELP ME!!!!!!!!!

Yes, I am still ashamed to admit I said such a thing. Just goes to show I still have a lot to learn about humility.

At that moment Mom arrived, took one look and sent me to bed while she tended to the babies (who all stopped crying immediately, go figure). I felt much better after that, and in the evening I got a phone call.

It was C. I didn't know her, had never heard of her but somehow she had gotten my name. Her Bible Study group wanted to help me out, with stuff or babysitting or help around the house or whatever I needed. What's more, she had served as a volunteer coordinator with a local family when they had quads, still had the list of volunteers, and would be happy to do the same for me and even to find the volunteers!

I have to admit, while I was still reluctant to ask for help, my reluctance to accept it had flown out the window that day with my babies' cries.

So a few days later found me greeting a complete stranger at the front door. I showed her in, showed her where the basic supplies were, introduced her to the babies and went straight to bed.

Leaving a complete stranger in charge of my three infants.

For THREE HOURS.

And never felt guilty about it for one moment!

C's ladies came over for about the first year. C on Tuesday, L on Wednesday, S on Thursday. There were others, but those are the three that came regularly all year. There is no way I could ever put a price on what they did for me. There is no way I will ever be able to repay them. No words to even express exactly what they did for me. I can tell you one thing, though - they were sent by God Himself. They were angels!

Now to the meat of this post. There are people in this world who would rather whine and complain than do anything about it. There is a woman on a triplet site I visit who comes on almost daily to complain - of her lot in life, her lack of help, how she doesn't have time to visit her baby in the NICU - anything. Everything! She says she wants support, but no one is really sure what she wants - because any supportive comment or offer of advice or help is instantly met with negativity and turned away. People have offered to sit with her other children so she can go to the hospital. No - she can't have strangers watching her kids. Fine, she is told - I will come to the hospital and play with the kids in the waiting room so you can go in. No, that is still having strangers watch them. She is too broke for day care, but apparently not broke enough to qualify for aid. Or she doesn't have time to apply. Or they aren't returning her calls. There is always, ALWAYS an excuse. Maybe some of them are true, but when everything ends up with a negative, you have to wonder...

I can't fault anyone for not wanting to leave their kids with strangers... you think I haven't thought of all that COULD have happened if my helpers were bad people? But these women have even offered to get to know her and the kids so they won't be strangers anymore. Seems like a no brainer to me! But the biggest thing is - and this has always been a pet peeve of mine - don't complain if you are not willing to hear solutions! Don't ask questions if you don't want to hear an answer! There comes a time when it is time to STOP WHINING and START DOING. It's not rocket science! You gotta do what you gotta do - and if it means "lowering yourself" to accept help so that you can visit your SICK BABY in the hospital, that's what you do! If it's not, then you are just whining for the sake of whining, and I can't respect that. Especially if there are kids involved and suffering.

I'm thankful for the lessons in humility that I learned over the past few years. I pray that this mother will learn them before it's too late to help her baby.

The Thing About Plastic

2008-05-09T07:36:00.001-07:00

Have you been keeping up with the latest about plastic?

I don't watch the news, I don't often read the paper. I get most of my news when something jumps out at me from my Google Homepage, or if I read about it on one of my forums. One parenting forum has been all a-buzz lately with talk about plastic.

More specifically, it's BPA that is causing a stir. BPA is bisphenol-a, a chemical used in some types of plastic. Apparently it leaches into food and liquids (especially hot stuff) and can cause all sorts of health problems, including hormonal and developmental issues, tumor growth and cancer.

I usually pay no attention to the health hype of the week, simply because the way it normally goes is that by next week it won't be as bad as it sounded and there will be something else gonna make us all die. Plus, plastic is everywhere. Is it really realistic to stop using it? Heck, it's in our mouths; two of my kids got dental sealants last week and will be getting it in their fillings next. Hmm, which of the three dental options to go for...mercury, plastic or rotten teeth? I can stop buying canned soup (BPA is widely used in the liners of food cans) and make my own. I can store it in those Ziploc containers...nope. Baggies? No....Tupperware? They refuse to comment, so who knows...So yeah, homemade soup is initially healthier for us but ultimately it all goes into the plastic somehow. I can't afford to buy everything in glass containers. I can't afford to buy everything fresh, although I do buy lots fresh, and bring it home to store in....plastic.

I hope you get my point. It is simply not realistic for me to completely be rid of this, even if I try as hard as I can. I'm guessing it's the same for most families. And will getting rid of a little make any difference at all? Well, the jury is out on that.

But one of the effects of this is cancer and tumor growth. My Dad already has cancer, as we found out last month, so I did tell him about this so he can make informed choices. He is opting for alternative treatment for now, so he's eating everything fresh. But storing it in plastic, of course. No-win situation.

Apparently some of the biggest risk is to young and unborn babies. Pregnant moms - please keep an eye on your plastic use. Bottle feeding moms - it's in most plastic bottles, so you may want to switch. Wal-Mart has already pulled bottles off their shelves, unless stated to be BPA free. Some ARE BPA free already, so do check! AND it is still in the liners of the formula cans. Powder is best. Canada is about to declare BPA as toxic and ban its use in baby bottles (although baby bottles seem to be the only item it will be banned in for now).

Guide to Baby-Safe Bottles & Formula

I will take this moment to get up on my soapbox and suggest breastfeeding! I nursed all my babies, including the triplets who never had a single drop of formula.

Also, check your plastic sippy cups, plates, cutlery.

NOT ALL PLASTICS CONTAIN BPA!!!
Most plastic items have a number, usually found on the bottom of an item, inside a little triangle like this:

The numbers are one through seven. The "bad" numbers - the BPA plastics - are 3, 6, and 7. Here is a list:

Which Plastics Are Safe?

Here are some links..I still can't find a whole lot, but these seem to be informative:

FDA reviewing plastic ingredient BPA

Study of Chemical in Plastic Bottles Raises Alarm

Canada likely to label plastic ingredient BPA 'toxic'

Toxic designation would not force bisphenol A off shelves

Cigarettes, asbestos, lead paint...among others were all once in common use until the dangers were really known. This won't be the last. As one mom on the parenting board said, parents used to load up their newborn infant in the car at the hospital, with no car seat, and drive home with the windows up and cigarettes lit. To put to bed in the crib painted with lead paint. Never knowing how dangerous it was. At least now, the parents who still do things like that have no excuse to say they "didn't know". It's all about information to make our choices. I don't know yet what to do about plastic. I have a fortune tied up in Tupperware. But I can use the information here to at least choose not to freeze or heat foods in dangerous plastics. I can choose to replace water bottles with safer ones. I can't eliminate it, but I can lessen it if I choose. I sought out this info to help me make choices for my family. I am posting it in case it may help someone else to do the same.

Customer Service Review - Quiznos

2008-05-01T20:22:00.000-07:00

I'm a stickler for customer service. 'What's that?' You young whippersnapppers may ask - and with good reason! It's very hard to find these days. Ask your parents, and they may just remember it themselves, but maybe not. It was in style long ago...once upon a time...so many years ago that it does seem like a fairy tale. It involved companies actually trying to please their customers, and stuff like that. But I digress; on to the story.

It was a warm spring day. A and I headed into Quiznos for lunch after a morning at the dentist. He had seen the commercials and was in the mood for something "mmmmmmmToasty" for a change. So in we went. We are not frequent Quiznos customers, so we took longer than most at the menu board. Finally, our choices were made. He got the Italian Sub; I ordered the Baja Chicken with Bacon. It was a tough choice; a tossup between that and the Mesquite Chicken with Bacon. See, I love chicken, and I love bacon. But I really, really love cilantro -- so I chose the Baja.

At the other end of the toaster the clerk added the extra toppings. "I would really love some extra cilantro, please" I requested. The clerk gave me a funny look - "Oh, we don't have cilantro!" Interpreting this as meaning they were simply out - after all, the word cilantro and the little green leaves were very much in evidence in the pictures - I expressed my disappointment. The manager stepped forward as if irate at our discussion. "We're not OUT. We don't keep it here. It isn't practical for me to carry cilantro. Do you know how long it keeps? And that's the only sandwich that calls for it. Hardly anyone orders that sandwich. Why should I order it?"

"Well, because it's on the menu, and the menu says cilantro; maybe you should put a little note on the menu that you don't have any cilantro so that people know before they order?" I suggested.

"You are the first person to ever complain" he said.

"I don't see how that makes any difference...if it says there will be cilantro, there ought to be cilantro" I replied.

Long silence.

Deep sigh.

"Lady, if you want another sandwich, I will make you one. But we just don't have any cilantro!"

I didn't ask for another sandwich. It wasn't about the cilantro, anyway. It was about the fact that cilantro was specifically mentioned as an ingredient and he had simply decided that he would not only not make any effort whatsoever to provide the advertised product, but that he would also insult the intelligence of any customer who actually had the audacity to want the product as advertised.

I wonder what kind of leeway independent Quiznos owners have to alter the menu? But it's not about that, either. I am not demanding that he keep cilantro on hand. It makes absolutely no difference to me one way or another. What I DO have a problem with is that it is advertised as such. A small handwritten note on each picture / description in the store "Sorry, no cilantro" would completely satisfy me. False advertising is a little pet peeve of mine.

Since most people don't even seem to know what cilantro is, they probably don't know anything about the cost or shelf life either. I do buy it frequently. It's true that I can't personally use up a bunch of cilantro before it rots and I have to throw the rest out. It comes in a bunch like parsley, and costs about 75 cents a bunch in my store. It lasts in the fridge for about a week in the bag you got at the store. If I use it every day I still can't use it up before it rots.

So, let's figure this out, shall we? If hardly anyone ever orders the Baja Chicken, that means that they can buy one bunch of cilantro per week and not use it all up, it would be plenty for the needs of the week. At the end of the week they have spent 75 cents and throw the rest away. Maybe they didn't sell a single Baja - who knows. Who cares? It seems to me that 75 cents a week is a pittance to be sure that the customers who do want the Baja are happy. If the management disagrees, why not just take it off the menu altogether? The point is it will not bring them anywhere close to financial ruin to just get the cilantro! Nor would it to add a note to the menu. False advertising!

I don't exactly do boycotts, but I certainly do choose where to spend my money and time. I don't care for Quiznos for several reasons. They are too expensive for my budget, for food and atmosphere (I could go to Olive Garden for what I spent on that lunch). Their food isn't that great IMO (good, but not great). If I'm looking for a sandwich I much prefer Subway, and even without the current $5 footlong it's a better price. So I won't be back to Quiznos unless I am with someone who is either buying or insists on eating there.

Imagine, this entry could have been avoided if they had simply put a note on the sign - or just told me they were out of cilantro. How hard is it to just sell what you advertise? How hard is it to just advertise only what you will sell?

A had a good question as we ate. "What if they decided they didn't want to buy any more ham? Would it be OK to just leave it off the sandwich and not say anything, and then treat the customers like idiots for asking?" Yeah, I know it's an extreme example....or is it?

Big Girl

2008-04-01T15:10:00.000-07:00

I'm so proud of my Big Girl.

As we all know, one of the problems with having triplets in separate classes is spreading yourself around as a parent volunteer. Not the least of these occasions is the dreaded Field Trip.

At our school, each class is allowed to have four parents accompany them. We're not a school that has a shortage of willing parents, so there is a lottery system. You let them know you're interested by the deadline, and they put all the names in a hat and choose four. If you get picked for one, you're not in the lottery for the next, unless there's a shortage (which is rare!).

I discussed this with one teacher early in the year, and it was decided that I would put my name in for all three classes each time, and if I get picked for more than one, we would go from there. That didn't happen, though, and I went with Mrs. H's class the first time.

So this time (there are only two field trips this year) I put my name in for Mrs. L's and Mrs. M's. I was chosen by Mrs. M.

OK, that's the background. Yesterday Girlie brought home a note from Mrs. M:

"I just discovered that Hrs. H only has one volunteer signed up, while Mrs. L and I had to turn some away. Would you be willing to go with Mrs. H's class instead? It's totally up to you, but please let me know ASAP so that we know how to proceed."

Girlie knew the situation already, so I asked her what she thought I should do. She immediately said "Mrs. H needs you, so you should go with them."

"Are you sure? You know that means I won't be with you" I replied. I asked her this twice, and she said yes, like it was no problem. So I started to write the note back to Mrs. M.

A few minutes later she stood in front of me, lower lip quivering. As tears welled up in her eyes, she said bravely "Maybe you can go on a field trip with me next year".

AWWWWWWW!!!!!

Well, I knew something had to be done. I thought for a minute, and then presented a couple of possibilities I thought of. The best one, in my opinion was for me to go with Mrs. H's class, but have Girlie get to go with my group. This would require permission from the principal, and would also mean that Girlie would miss out on one of the cool aspects of being a chaperone's kid - choosing her bestest friends to be in her group. But she agreed that it was a good compromise (How long, I wonder, will Mommy win out over bestest friends? I dunno, but I'll take it. ).

I'm so proud of Girlie, first for being willing to help where help was needed. When she came to me with tears, she was not trying to take back her decision - just letting me know how she felt. So I'm very proud of her for that. I'm not sure *I* could be big enough to do that! And finally I am really proud of her for being willing and able to compromise. She didn't have to, you know. The teacher left it totally up to me. I would have gone with her decision if she wanted me to go with her class. It's the teacher's problem to get chaperones, and there were other solutions (like dividing up Mrs. H's students among other classes). I would not have thought any less of her for saying she wanted to keep things as originally planned. But it's her nature to be helpful, so I am not surprised she chose as she did.

The story ends well...we got permission from all parties to transfer Girlie for the day. Girlie is thrilled! M is thrilled, because I get to go with him after all. He gets both field trips this year, but has not rubbed that in at all, and S doesn't seem to mind. I had prepared them for the certainty of "unfairness" at the beginning of the year, and they have done a great job of being happy for each other instead of feeling sorry for themselves if they don't get the same thing. So I'm really proud of all of them.

More on Customer Service - Nintendo

2008-03-10T13:49:00.000-07:00

I'm the first one to complain about bad customer service, the death of customer service, etc. I have another experience I'd like to share.

My boys went rushing out yesterday with their saved up cash and gift cards, to buy Super Smash Brothers, and some extra Wii-motes and accessories for their Wii. They had planned to spend the rest of the day playing their new game. They were so excited!

But when they got home, the game wouldn't play! An error message kept popping up. Sometimes the game would come up, then crash. They did try other games and found that it happened with all of them. I got kicked off my computer so they could look it up. "Call for Service" it said. Ahhhhh.....not good news. There was no joy in my house.

The Big Kid made the call. I would have offered to, probably insisted, but he did it before I knew it. He waited semi-patiently through all the automated stuff (he had it on speaker. You would not believe how many times they warn you that this phone call may be monitored or recorded! )

Finally, Jay came on the line and listened to the tale. You probably won't be surprised, being familiar with the way our luck runs, to find that our unit is out of warranty - by TWO WEEKS. Now, what does that usually mean? You're on your own, bucko. Pleasure doing business with you. *shrug*

Jay cheerfully informed my son that although the unit was out of warranty they would honor it anyway. THEN he said they would extend it for another year! "How much does that cost?" asked The Big Kid. "Your only cost will be any packing materials you need", said Jay. "You have a printer? Hang on, I'll e-mail you a prepaid FedEx label." WHA!!

So, while they still didn't get to play (Big Kid did. He went to a friend's house, and came home more dejected than ever for not having it here.) they are very happy. MEGA Kudos to Nintendo for their customer service (I'll report again when it's all said and done in 11-16 days ). They made my boys very happy. And the Mommy too, of course, from whose pocket would have been rendered the cost, I'm sure!

Update: the Wii was returned via FedEx in exactly 11 days! WOW!!!

Library Fine

2008-03-06T06:49:00.001-08:00

The note read, "Behavior Contract for 8th Grade Picnic". No one will be allowed to go if they have any suspensions, excessive tardies, etc. Oh, and unpaid fines.... including library fines.

So when Second brought me that note we knew we were being pushed to action. No more standing on principle alone. Isn't there some old saying that goes something like "He who stands on principle stays at school with the principal (during the 8th Grade Picnic)"?

Here's the story. Last year - yes, that would be 7th Grade - he took out a library book. Unfortunately, he lost it. He came to me about it, and I told him he would have to pay with his own money. I mean, what better time to learn, right? So he can be more careful the next time?

But he found the book, after all, before he paid $12.50 for it. The librarian told him the fine was $4.50. He had come prepared with a $5 bill for the maximum fine. $4.50 was a pleasant surprise - now he could get a snack from the machine, too!

Incident over, done with, and forgotten. At least until last fall. The note from the library stated that he had never paid the fine.

He spoke to the assistant librarian - the one he says he paid - about it. I had him point out that he would not have gotten his report card if he hadn't paid, because that's how they do things. But the Asst. librarian told him they are not allowed to withhold report cards anymore, which was news to me.

Every month a note is sent to his homeroom teacher, diligently reminding him of this fine. She asked him about it the first month, and he explained himself. She discussed it with me during a field trip, too. She believes his story, BTW. He is not a liar, and he is not one to make up an elaborate story. She said she would discuss it with the librarian. I told her that I had advised him not to pay a fine he had already paid, that since they don't give out receipts it is their word against his and they should figure it out. Incident forgotten, again.

Until the note, this morning. This is getting desperate, people. I don't want him to miss his picnic, principle or no principle. So I went to speak to the librarian myself.

This was the first I had heard of there being an assistant involved. The main librarian didn't know anything about it. The assistant came running from the other end of the room when she heard us talking. "He did NOT pay that fine!" She seemed overly defensive to me. She also denied that the Kid had ever discussed it with her, or that the teacher had. So we first had to explain to the Head Librarian why we were just now coming in to talk about it after all these months. Please understand that I am not accusing her of anything other than not recording his payment (well, saying no one had mentioned it to her...but I suppose she could have forgotten? Though she WAS very quick to defend herself.). The head librarian assured me that the Asst. is very competent. I am not questioning that in the least. I don't know her. She may indeed be the most reliable person in the world the rest of the time. People make mistakes, of course. I admit I am tired of paying for the mistakes of others, but I suppose it all evens out somewhere along the line. Right?

But I absolutely do NOT buy it when someone says things like, "we are very thorough about this", "we've never had a complaint before", or the biggie "we don't make mistakes". Because everyone makes mistakes. Anyone who says they don't, IS a liar. I don't care if I AM the first one to complain, that means nothing. I don't care how thorough you are, or what measures you have in place to prevent mistakes. Ask my bank, who just credited me $500 of an ATM deposit THEY had misplaced and assured me that it couldn't possibly be a mistake on THEIR end. Of course the flip side of that is I have to be willing to accept and admit that the mistake could be on my end. Or even on my Kid's end. I am always willing to do that, even when I know beyond a doubt that it's not. But you know what I hate worse than all that? I hate when the person cops an attitude about it. Like this lady did. I really, really hate that, and I will fight that much harder on principle when that happens, 100% of the time.

Bottom line - they take in cash payments. They don't give receipts. It's my word against theirs. Does anyone have any doubts as to who will win this one?

I stayed calm throughout the discussion (not common for me especially with the attitude component). I thanked them for their time, and assured them I would see that it was taken care of.

On the way out, I stopped by the Assistant Principal's office and asked for a moment of her time. I calmly explained my story. I made it clear that the issue is NOT the money itself, and that I do not want my son to miss the picnic. She knows my son, knows he is a good kid, not a troublemaker. All that is beside the point, of course, I know he is no perfect angel, and I admitted that. I do happen to believe his story, and his homeroom teacher does. But without a receipt.....

What do I want out of this? I think what I want is for the library to admit that it's possible they made a mistake. EVEN IF I have to end up paying the fine. I will be happy to pay it, if it comes to that. Well, not happy, but I'll do it. . I will not ask my son to pay it. I want the library to admit it could have happened and I want them to purchase a receipt book to use for cash transactions. It's crazy that they didn't already have that in place.

Edit: Just had the call back from the school. The library is still denying any mistakes... But, they WILL start issuing receipts from now on. And we agreed that I will pay half the fine. They first offered to let him work it off in the library, but I flatly declined. As far as I am concerned, he paid the fine last year. He doesn't need to be working it off again!

"The librarian says he avoids the library", she said...as if to imply a guilty conscience?! NO, I replied. Why should he go in the library if he knows he can't check out a book? He's been walking to the public library every week all year. But he laughed when I told him this. "I go to the library with my class every week!" he says. Just doesn't check out a book, of course. He's even gone in there to do research! But they would remember that, and they don't make mistakes. Hmmmph.

So, I suppose I should have taken care of this a long time ago. Frankly, I assumed he had done so, since he hadn't mentioned it again. Sigh.

Lost and Found!

2008-01-23T10:54:00.000-08:00

Lost: One tooth.

Last seen in school cafeteria. Blame duly assigned to orange wedges. Or maybe the Broccoli Spears with Ranch.

If found, please place in plastic baggie for proper disposal under pillow. Tooth Fairy: pay attention! I hope you're reading this!

******************

I would like to thank the Kindergarten teachers for assigning me to C's class for Center Time on today of all days. I thank Verizon for producing a camera phone that takes decent pictures, and most of all I would like to thank the Big Kid who informed me last night that the phone was beeping and would maybe like to be charged up.

I would also like to thank A and B for being just as excited as we were instead of being jealous that THEY were not the first triplet to lose a tooth. Thanks to Mrs. H who got one of her baggies when Mrs. M was nowhere to be found after lunch. Super-Special Advance Thanks to the Tooth Fairy whom I hope with all my might will NOT NOT NOT forget to visit our house tonight! (Reminders welcomed )

Handicapped????

2008-01-15T06:06:00.000-08:00

I'm a pretty easygoing person. If there's one thing I can't stand it's "Mommy Wars" and drama. But every once in awhile a thread at Triplet Connection comes along that I just can't resist! I can't say what I'm really thinking over there; I have to go easy. So here I am.
Bit of background: there is an ongoing argument (not to be confused with all the other ongoing arguments!) in MommyLand over whether a Triplet Mommy "needs" a handicapped sticker for her car. It sounds great, doesn't it? We have these big honkin' strollers to get out of the car, multiple babies to load in. It's hard, in a crowded parking lot. It's dangerous. No one's arguing those points! It's a fact!
But we all have to learn to deal with it. Hell, it's hard and dangerous even with one baby. Frankly, I had more "close calls" with my first than I ever did with the triplets. Maybe I was more cautious with them because of the added danger factor? Or maybe I was just inexperienced the first time. Who knows!?
Some parents don't want to deal with it. They want special privileges, special treatment, just because they have multiple babies. Some feel they need it; others merely feel entitled to it. Either way - it's appalling!
Here is the OP on TC, followed by just a few of the replies:
"For those of you who have handicapped hangtags, who signed the form for you - your Dr or your Pedi.?If there is a list of reasons for the hangtag, what did you select? In my state, a police officer can also sign for it, but when I went to the police station, they said that they won't sign it (they don't sign them for anyone).Please - no judgements - I didn't think I would need one until a few recent close calls in shopping center parking lots. I live in an urban area and I'm having trouble loading/unload the kids into their stroller and I believe the people can't see the stroller when backing up and a few cars have come VERY close to backing into the stroller! If I can get a hangtag, then I'll have enough room to put the stroller between the cars and load the kids. "
A few of the replies:
You don't need one, nor should you have one. Park further out and walk.There are people who truly need those spots and have difficulty getting out and about.
******
My father has a disability and needs those spaces. Don't park in them. Having triplets is not a disability. Unless you have a disabled child you do not need a handicapped tag. Please don't abuse the system.
******
You can find ways to make parking lots safer.
gotta say my kids are 6 years old and we have had many years of experience in parking lots. Do they make me nervous...yes-still to this day and my kids are no longer in a stroller. Did I ever think of getting a handicap card because of it....no. I have chosen to park further away driving around parking lots until a safe spot opened up if I had to. Wait till you have to walk with all three holding hands. The danger is still there of someone backing into you. You learn to be extra cautious and find safer parking spots. Save the handicap cards for the handicap they need them more than you.
******
Then the OP responded defensively that she hadn't been clear in her first post, that she hadn't explained her entire situation, blah blah and how dare you judge ME! I responded to this with:
It actually DOES seem pretty clear to me. DO you have a reason, or not? If so, why are you asking total strangers which reason THEY selected? You
specifically state that you want one because of "close calls", and you have been offered tips on how to deal with those. Look, when you post on a public board, you're going to get differing opinions, some of which may include judgments, even (perhaps especially!) when you ask to not have them (that's sort of a sign that you KNOW it's a controversial subject!). That's just the way it is. If you have a reason for the tag -- that's between you, your doctor and your state - not anyone else.
To some of you who seem to think it's ok beause lots of people have them that don't need them -
#1, how do you KNOW they don't need them? They may be like my friend, who is 35 and looks completely healthy but has a severe heart problem...and gets yelled at every time she uses hers, so she sometimes chooses to put her health at risk and walk, rather than get comments like "Glad to see your handicap is not
physical!". You can't always see someone's problem.
#2 - how on earth would it make it right just because "everyone else is doing it"? Wait till your kids come at you with that line.
The fact is, having multiples is NOT a handicap, even if it is inconvenient at times. We all have to learn to deal with it. It's called life.
I can't really add too much to what I wrote there. For one thing, it absolutely amazes me that so many people go to TC and ask complete STRANGERS for advice they should be getting from professionals! Medical advice, for instance. What the hell? Why are you on a message board posting about whether or not this is premature labor, instead of getting your ass to the ER pronto?? No wonder everyone is always so suspicious! Is that REALLY something a real mom would do??
But I digress. The point is, if the woman had an actual, real reason for a handicapped tag, then first of all she would have gotten one rather than post on TC asking for adice. Secondly, her first post made it clear that she does NOT have a reason. She simply wants parking lot life to be less stressful on herself. At least call it what everyone knows it is!
I really do have a 35 year old friend who looks healthy. She is trim and beautiful and looks perfectly fit, but is not. The fact is she can not walk more than a few feet without panting. She did not ask for a handicapped tag but was given one by her doctor who insists she use it for her own good. Truly, she knows it's best. But the fact is she rarely uses it. I can't tell you how many times I myself have witnessed the insults she recieves when getting out of her car. People - you can't always judge people's health by their looks! Admittedly, I used to do the same thing. Only when I saw it for myself with my friend did I realize what an asshole that made me.
So when I see comments like this it really, really pisses me off:
"There are a LOT of people out there that have one and they in no way need one!!! Us MoM's (or just mom's with several young children period) need one more
than most people that have one. JMO."
Oh, really?? Are you their doctor...NO? Then shut up! How dare you! Your statement is an insult to any parent who has ever successfuly parked their car and gone into the store without losing a kid. Get over yourself! The world does not owe you an easy time!
I understand wanting life to be easier. Having triplets is HARD, no doubt about it. But it's life. There's a difference between making things easier in appropriate ways and having a sense of entitlement. There's a difference between accepting help or even humbly asking for it, and demanding it. There's a difference between accepting free gifts offered by companies, or even asking nicely for a discount, and demanding it. There's a difference between having a medical reason for a handicap tag and demanding one just because you don't want to take the extra time to do things differently.
And be THANKFUL that you don't have a REAL handicap!!
Edited to add: a friend had an interesting comment about this subject. The same people who think they "deserve" the handicap sticker are the same ones who will gripe when a mom with one kid is using the multi-kid cart at Wal-Mart! Yeah, I think she's probably right...

Yes, I nursed my triplets!

2008-01-13T20:42:00.000-08:00

Although my triplets are now six years old, lately I have been contacted by several Moms expecting their own triplets. It is generally assumed that it's impossible to nurse triplets. Many who would like to get discouraged by the negativity and lack of support and either give up too soon, or don't even try at all. It IS difficult - make no mistake! But it is not necessarily as difficult as one might think, and is so worth it. In response to those asking for help, I dug up the old article I wrote about it when they were still babies - good thing, too, because I can't remember much now, those days are a total blur! Here is the article as written, with the exception of the personal info I removed. I hope it can help someone else.

***********************************************************

I have breastfed all of my single babies (3 boys), and there was no doubt in my mind that I would do the same for this fourth child. When I found out there were three babies, though, I was not sure it could be done! I was determined to try, though, and do the best I could. Here is my story of nursing triplets.

One of the first things I did when I got home from the doctor after that first ultrasound was to call my friend, a La Leche League leader, to ask for help. She wasn't home and I had to leave a message. I turned to the book The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding and was relieved to see a chapter on nursing multiples that included information on triplets. But I still wondered. Everyone I talked to seemed to think it was impossible to nurse triplets.

I figured at the very least I could nurse one each feeding, with the others getting formula, and rotate which one got the breast. I knew I could successfully nurse one baby, so this became my minimum goal.

After awhile as I joined various e-mail lists and forums online, I learned that many women have successfully, exclusively nursed triplets and more. In the days when wet nurses were common, one woman would be in charge of feeding SIX babies! So it then became my goal to exclusively nurse my babies.

They were extremely likely to be preemies, and so it would be even more important than ever to give them Mother's milk. I "met" several women online who had been successful, and we became friends. I got advice and support from them when I needed it most. My babies were born at 32 weeks - the average for triplet births, but too early for the sucking instinct to be fully formed. They would have to be tube-fed until they learned to suckle properly.

The NICU nurses said they would like me to at least pump my milk while they were in the hospital. So a friend arranged for a hospital grade breast pump to be delivered right after the birth. A quality pump is essential!! Check with your insurance company - some will cover rental. Or tell friends and family that you need it and they can possibly gift it to you or help with it as part of your shower gift.

When I had recovered enough from the birth, the lactation consultant brought me the pump and we began. I was very blessed to have knowledgeable, supportive lactation consultants. As strange as it sounds for someone whose career is teaching people to nurse, I have heard the worst horror stories about them! Try to meet the consultants at your hospital before the birth. If they don't seem helpful, you may want to hire your own. Or look at La Leche League and try to find someone with experience with multiples, they can come to the hospital to help you get started.

I knew it would be crucial to surround myself as much as possible with support people. I don't think I could have done it without them. The babies were in the hospital for four weeks. During this time I was only allowed to actually nurse two or three times a day. I could only be there for a few feedings a day because of my other kids at home, so while I was there I would try to nurse them.

They were not very good at it! I did try some methods suggested by the LLL to avoid nipple confusion - including the use of a special tube thing (I can't remember the name) that was taped to my nipple and attached to the bottle at the other end. The idea was that they would get more milk through the tube but be practicing nursing and not end up confused by a bottle nipple. I never did get the hang of that thing and found it to be more trouble than it was worth, so I gave it up pretty quickly.

They always had to have a bottle after each "nursing" session - but I was pumping very well and they never had anything but my milk in their bottles! When they were released, they were still nowhere near nursing full time. We brought them home hoping and praying they would catch on eventually. This was a whole different ball game!

As best I can remember, here is what we did at first. I usually did NOT have help at home in the beginning; despite all the offers, they just never seemed to pan out! I just determined that for the time being, feeding babies would be my full time job (that includes getting the food and rest that I needed to nurse). I discussed this with hubby and kids so they knew what to expect - it was as if I was back on bed rest for awhile, LOL.

I would pump first if I had time (i.e. nobody screaming). This really helped to bring my supply up. The babies could always get enough milk; they are very efficient. The pump is not efficient enough to really help increase on its own, in my experience. Ideally I would pump and then wait at least 1/2 hour before nursing. Since I had to get a snack and water each time I nursed, I would do this in between to make best use of my time.

They were on a 3 hour schedule for the first month at home (until their due date had passed, per doctor's instructions). So if they were due to nurse at noon, I would pump at 11:00. When I was first pumping it would take 45 minutes or so to get a good amount. Before long it took only 10 to 15 minutes to do this. I tried to pump until I had at least 3 bottles worth, however big the bottles were at the time (Hubby got the computer to figure out their amounts based on their weight. I'm sorry I can't remember where he got this info, but your doctor can give it to you.). This way I at least kept up with their demand. Usually I could do at least 4 bottles worth.

After pumping, and before nursing, I would chug a huge glass of water. I tried to rotate who went first to nurse. Baby A got the left, Baby B got the right, and Baby C got some of each (rotating the order each time, and recording it on a chart so I could remember). I never had a problem getting more letdown. I think I really could have fed six babies easily!

As they got better at nursing they refused more of the bottle. I always bottled them AFTER nursing. If I had help I would pass the baby to be bottled and go on to the next to nurse. But even alone I never had a problem with impatience; they were always fairly willing to wait their turn (we did have our moments!) Now that I think about it, I believe that when I was alone I would choose one to nurse, and bottle the others, rotating each time. It was easy to bottle 2 at a time and I never propped bottles, though I know others do. I don't judge anyone for that, don't get me wrong. Do what you need to do. But I think they need cuddling as much as possible, heaven knows they already get less than a single baby! So do try to hold one each feeding, would be my suggestion.

I had a double nursing pillow, which was one of my most valuable baby items. I was able to stroke them and speak to them and cuddle each one. I rarely fed two at a time, though. If they would wait I thought it best to feed them separately, for the individual attention. Anyway, when C began obviously preferring the breast, I concentrated on her. She surprised me by absolutely REFUSING the bottle! Reverse nipple confusion? LOL! Since she refused the bottle I couldn't rotate her! So, at that point I would nurse her, then try at least one boy.

There were times when I thought the boys would never nurse and I would be pumping forever! After awhile I just decided to not give the bottle afterwards and see how they did. This was after the due date, as they said the babies can't really sense hunger too well before that (they were eight weeks old then). At first they got hungry again soon after, but they just got better and better. I didn't quit bottles altogether yet, but at least once or twice a day, with at least one of them, I would nurse only.

I think it was a little after Thanksgiving (age 9 weeks) that I decided to try nursing only during the day and see how it went. It took several days before it was working well; I was nursing all the time for a few days. By 3 and 1/2 months I was down to pumping three times a day. I always fed on demand during the day, no schedule. But when my body woke me up at 2:00 AM and said it's time to pump, I pumped then fed them whether they were still asleep or not. I was afraid they would wake up at 3:00 if I went back to bed!

I didn't care if they have a schedule per se, but wanted them to do things like eat and sleep at roughly the same time. So if one woke up to nurse, and the others stayed asleep, I would still get the others up to nurse. At about four months they were only getting up once at night, then when they were five months old they were mostly sleeping through the night from 8:30 to 7:00. Hooray!!!

I remember feeling like I was just feeding and pumping all day. But I really don't think I was! It would have been so much easier if I had more help. The little help I had at first was really more for my older kids (driving to and from school, etc.) But I did it! I had to take it one day at a time. My parents were a HUGE help by coming in to do the midnight feeding once I felt I could give up pumping at that hour. Hubby also got up with me for all the night feedings and eventually took over the early morning one so I could sleep through.

Eventually I had help coming in almost daily but this was long after they were off bottles. I told hubby and the kids to imagine that I was still on bed rest so I would not be able to just jump back into my former role. One of the most important things was that folks still brought dinner for the first three months. I would adivise anyone to NOT BE SHY. When people ask what they can do to help, add things like COOK ME A MEAL to that list! Don't let them think of something they can do to help, tell them, whatever you need. You will be amazed. I had friends who got their entire Ladies' Group from church to cook for me, and they didn't even know me. But they won't know what you need if you don't ask! :)

When the meals ended, now I just cook very BASIC stuff. I always loved to cook, but I am getting back into it gradually. You have to pick and choose what you can do and what can slip - whatever works for you. I was not willing to give up nursing the babies, so it was other things that got the slip.

For a mother of multiples, here is my opinion on the most important things they need help with:

Help with feeding (bottle while they BF/pump), just make sure to WAIT till she is done with the BF and not just give the bottle. I had a little problem with that. People want to hold the babies, and they want to give bottles, and they don't realize how important it is to learning to nurse that the bottle is LAST.
Cooking/cleaning.
Shopping
Laundry, etc.
I didn't really need people to baby-sit unless I had trouble getting a nap. I took advantage of that often - "I am going to bed. Wake me when they are hungry!" LOL!

I think most people expected to play with the babies while I did the housework! I guess that would have been more help than nothing, but it wasn't REALLY what I needed.

Most people will offer to help but it's easier to actually get them to if you are SPECIFIC about what you need. I made a list of EVERYTHING I thought others could help with, and split those up into parts: Not just laundry, but doing the wash, folding, sorting. So if they could only give me 30 minutes, folding laundry was a HUGE blessing! No one really thinks 30 minutes will be helpful, so the list is great. When they ask what they can do, give them the list and let them choose!

It doesn't really take much longer to nurse them than it did to nurse one, once they got the hang of it. It did take a lot of time when I had to pump and bottle them. It took a week or so for us to get into the swing of things once we got them home - for the first 2 weeks we got up together and did every feeding together. Then one morning I woke up late and hubby told me he had already fed them and I should go back to sleep! What a blessing! I just had to be careful not to skip pumping too often so my supply didn't go down. My parents also came over to do the midnight feeding almost every night. Once I started sleeping more I felt much better.

At about 7 months the doctor was concerned because C and B were not gaining weight. For two weeks I fed them more often, including reinstating night feedings (A was still feeding at night and he was growing fine). At their weigh-in they had improved nicely. We also started solids at this time, and they got their first formula - powder mixed into their cereal to add calories. Finally a use for the free formula, LOL.

After all this, and doing some research, I would not freak out about this again. You need to look at the whole baby, not just the scale. All of them were clearly getting enough to eat. They were very happy babies, and had just the right amount of wet and dirty diapers. The charts that the doctor uses are based on the "average" baby. Bottle-fed babies will often gain weight faster for a number of reasons, one of which is that the person giving the bottle pushes the baby to finish the whole thing, while a nursing baby stops when he is full. This rapid weight gain throws off the charts for the breastfed baby!

All in all though, it was a relief when they were all gaining weight again. After a month of this I was able to stop the night feedings again and they grew like weeds! As I write this they are 8-1/2 months old. They eat two meals and a snack of solid food a day - usually cereal with fruit for breakfast and cereal with vegetables for dinner, with crackers or teething biscuits in the afternoon. They each eat about 4 oz. per meal, the size of a regular baby food jar. We still mix formula in with it to add calories. I plan to nurse them until they are 14 months old, or an adjusted age of one year. If they want to continue after that, I don't have a problem with that. I have always enjoyed nursing; it is such a special relationship with my babies. I have always been sad for it to end.

************************************************

UPDATE: I ended up nursing them for THREE YEARS! When 14 months rolled around - the goal I had set - they were going strong, growing like weeds and happy as clams. I decided that I had worked too hard to teach them to nurse, and there was NO WAY I was going to MAKE them quit! All my oldest had self-weaned and I am a big believer in that. So it should be with these, I decided. Well, they didn't stop, and didn't stop. Going, and going, and GOING!

Eventually I made rules that we could only nurse in my bedroom - this was because they developed the habit of coming up to me and lifting my shirt every time I sat down, no matter who else was in the room! So at first they could ask to go in my room, then later it was only at set times during the day. At the end we were only nursing in the morning. The older kids would get them up and they would run to my room and hop in bed with me. We moved to a new house on their third birthday and they nursed that first day, and never again, by their own choice.

The best thing about self-weaning is that there are NO side effects on the mom! If you know what I mean *wink*. I never thought I would be an extended nurser, and I am by no means militant about that. I am glad I did it, though. Although at the time I wondered if I was cheating my older kids by not being as available as I might have been, I honestly feel that it would not have been MUCH better if I had bottle fed. My older kids learned many valuable lessons during this time that I am so glad they had the opportunity to learn. They bonded more with their Dad who previously had not been as involved with their lives. The nursing was a special time for me and the babies, and Daddy and the other children were not cheated at all as they had their own ways of bonding with the babies.

Don't get me wrong - it was not easy! It took determination and diligence. Although there were many times it seemed it would be easier to bottle feed, I don't think it really would have been in the long run, all things considered!

**Feel free to post here or PM me at TC if you have any questions!

Learn Something New Every Day!

2007-12-29T16:38:00.000-08:00

Here are a few to start you off.

1. When barking orders at kids, remember the selective hearing factor. Until at least the age of 18, there seems to be some sort of blockage or cosmic shift in the Eustachian tubes that translates the word "don't" into all kinds of fun sentences.

For example...

What you say:

Don't throw your clothes on the floor!"

"Don't play in the ditch!"

"Don't tie the dog's feet together!"

"Don't try to hang your sister's ginormous Care Bear on the top of the Christmas tree!"

What they hear:

"Throw your clothes on the floor!"

"Please, by all means, play in the ditch! Make sure you get your new shoes nice and muddy, too!"

"The dog loves it when you tie her feet together! Hee hee, have fun!"

"You know what would be fun? Putting that five pound Care Bear on top of the tree to see if it knocks it over!"

2.If your dishwasher never seems to get the dishes clean, and you have to yell at the kids for putting something sandy in there because, well, that's what it looks like -- try powder detergent rather than liquid or gel. In fact, Liquids and gels will damage the dishwasher ("gunk up the works"). I was amazed but sure enough after one load with powder I was convinced. No more liquids for me EVER again!

3. MREs (Meals Ready to Eat...left over from Hurricane Relief) are not mouse-proof. As a matter of fact, they seem to act as more of a mouse bait. And the foil packets apparently make really cushy nests. Don't ask me how I know. Just trust me on this.

Now -- Share yours. :)

Risky Business

2007-12-22T22:07:00.000-08:00

Recently, two triplet moms have died in or shortly after childbirth. First, Debbie Smith of Tucson, and then and Tina Hagenbuch of Kalamazoo. What a terrible, sad tragedy. My heart and prayers go out to their familes and especially to the daddies who are left with three premature infants that they have to be strong for as they grieve for their wives. It's not the way it was supposed to be. Tina's story gave a link to her MySpace page, where she is still receiving comments from her friends. It's sad and sweet to read, and brings tears to my eyes.

I guess it really hits home for me because I had trouble after the birth of my triplets. This is a journal entry I wrote long ago about the birth and my recovery:

When they were born 8 weeks early they were remarkably healthy. The reason I was told to gain so much weight was for this reason. It helps them be heavier at birth which makes for healthier babies overall. Their weights were awesome for any 32 week baby, super awesome for triplets! And they had no breathing problems. I spent more time than usual in recovery - a triplet birth is a lot more taxing on the body than a regular one.
So 16 hours after their birth I had not seen them yet other than the one glimpse of C. H described them to me - he said B's head was the size of a baseball, and A's was the size of a softball. It is hilarious to me and typical that he would descibe them in sports terms but when I saw them it was true!! Those were the best words he could use to describe it.
I did get wheeled through the NICU on the way to my room, but they were working on them so that was all I got. H was spending as much time as he could in there though and I just slept, for the first time in 10 years it seemed like!
They brought me dinner but I couldn't eat, which worried them. I remember there was like a season finale or some important episode of JAG I was trying to watch and kept dozing off. They were coming in every few minutes to take my blood pressure and finally told me something was odd and they were taking me back to the recovery room for observation. My blood pressure was spiking and plummetting within minutes, over and over again. Also I was having a LOT of trouble breathing. I get shortness of breath really bad when pregnant - a normal symptom but I get it worse than anyone I know of. It was made substantially worse
by the fact that I had triplets and by the bed rest. My inability to breathe was one reason he had trouble giving the epidural. Then the reason it took so long to get C out was that she had gotten wedged in under my heart and a lung.
By the time I got back to recovery I was panting and complaining I couldn't breathe - it was getting worse when it should get better. So they gave me a breathing treatment. As they put the mask over me, the nurse said there was some sort of stimulant in the mist to help me breathe better. Hmmm, they just gave me a nice big dose of demoral, I said...maybe a stimulant is not such a great idea.....no worries, she said. It all works together. And she walked away.
Maybe it was all in my mind then. Maybe I conjured up this whole thing. But I started feeling really antsy. I was so doped on demoral I could barely move, yet so hyped on whatever that I HAD to move. I did not do drugs in the past - I did take a dose of speed-like stuff in college during exam week, and this is what it felt like, and why I never did more than that! There was some teen movie a long time ago - I think the female star was what's-her-name, the woman Jamie in Mad About You....she took a bad dose of acid and suddenly went crazy and jumped out the window. Well, I was eyeing the window. I honestly felt like doing that at that moment. That is the best I can describe something I never want to feel again! It felt like hours but only a few minutes passed and there was a flurry of activity around me as they started testing this and testing that. I lay there asking, what is going on! and no one would answer me.
I started to consider the possibility that I was dying. I am leaving my hubby with 6 kids, 3 of which are newborn premature babies, I hope the insurance is paid, blah blah...then they said they were sending me for a CAT scan. I had no idea what that was, just that they do it when things are serious. I get down there and they tell me to lie PERFECTLY still, don't move AT ALL....um, well, I have this real bad cough you see, I can't control it....I can't breathe....I am hyped up to insane proportions on some unknown drug....I think I am dying....and as luck would have it they stick me in this incredibly coffin-like gizmo and tell me to be PERFECTLY still!!! It was frankly all I could do not to laugh the whole time I was in there, at the
absurdity and irony of it all.
When I got out of there it was 5 AM. It suddenly occurred to me that here I am, DYING mind you, and my hubby may not even know about it. I got a nice nurse to call him but he couldn't reach him. I found myself in a strange room with big ol' machines and when I asked was told it was ICU. Well, now I KNEW I was dying. No one goes to ICU for the fun of it. I was
told that I had a collapsed lung and I can't remember what was wrong with my heart. I never did get a full explanation but I didn't push too hard. Finally H showed up, having gone to my room, found it empty and no one knew where I was! So he was a little perturbed....what we have here is a failure to
communicate....
They could not bring the babies to me, of course, but said they could take me down that afternoon if I was a good girl. First I was to lie as still as possible then a few hours later they made me get out of bed, forced me, to get out and walk to the chair and sit. OUCH!! Not fair, not fun. I was poked and prodded all day. Some heart person came in and checked me over thoroughly. The respiratory therapist - who, ironically, had been called in to work on the babies but I needed her more - was in and out. By dinnertime, though, they not only took me to see the babies but I got to go back to my room. Crisis averted.
The respiratory therapist continued to visit me. I had to use this thing that you blow into to measure how much lung capacity you have. When I first used it I moved it maybe 3/4 inch, yikes, trust me that is not much. Goal was 3 or 4 inches, I was not doing too well there.
I was in for a week and by the time I left was walking down the hall without holding the hand rail. The first few days I had to be wheeled to the nursery.
As for the babies they were doing great. The hospital gave me a pump, and I kept busy with that.
I never did push for a full explanation of what happened to me in there, though I should and I probably will one day. The doctor said everything was fine, but later talking to HIS nurse (not the hospital one) she said "we were afraid we were losing you". I have never regained my full health. I still have breathing problems and they still check my heart regularly.

There's no doubt that having triplets is risky business. Heck, having a baby at all is a risk. Surprisingly, though, these two are the only ones I have heard of who died in relation to the birth. There are certainly others I didn't hear about. There may be more like me, who had problems that ended up OK; I guess we don't hear so much about those.

My initial thought was that some may use these stories to try to push selective reduction. That's where they go in and selectively choose one or more babies of a multiple pregnancy and kill it. I hope that doesn't happen. It's pretty well proven that a triplet pregnancy is not much riskier than a twin, and that a "reduced twin" pregnancy is NO less risky. While I was in bed this afternoon recovering from the "stomach bug du jour" I did some research and found that nothing's changed in those statistics.

I know how scary it is discovering you're having triplets. I know how scary it must be for newly pregnant triplet mommies to read these stories. I realize that the doctors feel bound to offer the option of "selective reduction". I can't imagine having it pushed on me. Luckily I already knew it existed and we both knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that we would never even consider it - in fact we stopped the doctor and did not allow him to finish the speech. But some have never heard of the procedure, and when presented with the gloom and doom outlook of some doctors (my peri was like that), I can see how easily led they might be. My research led me to a blog, which linked to this article entitled "Too Much to Carry?". What a frightening thing to read! First off, their assertions are WRONG. DO NOT form your view of SR from this article alone! It's not true that the pregnancy is less risky if one is killed! That's a bald-faced lie, easily disproven with a little bit of further research.

But read it and see how frightened the women are, how unsure. They are trusting the doctor to do what's best, and allowing him to kill one or more of their children! One woman even wanted to keep them all and her mother talked her out of it based on what the doctor had said! Reading this article...the baby pulling back from the needle...the baby had been waving and moving and then stops....choosing which one to get rid of based on its sex...ugh!! How terribly sad and unnecessary!!

I often wonder if anyone has interviewed these couples long after the reduction. How are they living with what they've done? I say this not to place blame on them. For the most part I don't blame them. I blame the doctor who talked a hormonal and unsure woman into making a serious and irrevocable decision. I can only imagine how they might feel as they watch their other children blossom and grow. Do they tell them about the other one? Do they think of the other one at all? Or do they de-personalize it so it doesn't bother them?

H and I often tell people that if we HAD considered reduction, it would have been C. A and B were identical twins sharing a sac, so they were off limits.

C is our only daughter. A little princess who holds her own among her five brothers. I can't imagine life without her.

Triplets on their first day home at one month old. This shows the difference in head sizes.
L-R: B (baseball head), A (softball head), C (fraternal)

My girlie this past Spring.

2007-10-29T17:01:00.000-07:00

Anyone remember the lawsuit where the woman got burned by hot coffee, sued McDonald's because they didn't tell her that the COFFEE was HOT - and WON?

Well, this kind of stuff really ticks me off. No, honestly it really just baffles me, because it's hard to believe that people in this world can be so STUPID.

I just read on my triplet parenting board that the Bumbo Seat has been recalled. Here is a Bumbo seat:

Now, apparently the seat had a warning on it to not leave your baby unattended, and to not put it on a table or anywhere but on the floor. It is not a safety seat; it's just to let the baby sit up and get a different view for a bit. But if the baby is at all mobile, it WILL get out of this seat. Is there anyone reading this really stupid enough to not get what that means if the baby is sitting unattended on a table?

So they recalled it, but only just to get stronger warnings put on them. Is anyone here naive enough to think that these warnings will not be ignored as well?

In the same thread someone mentioned that bath seats had been recalled as well in the past. Bumbo seats came out after I would have needed them so I hadn't seen one. But those bath seats were priceless to me with ONE baby. When I had to get stuff for three, they were some of the first things on my list - 2 more bath seats, please, STAT! I don't know how I would have gotten along without those bath seats. I stuffed those kids into them at bathtime until they just couldn't fit anymore! :lol: Here are the bath seats I used:

There were warnings plastered all over the thing, but does it really take much of a brain to realize that use of these seats does NOT mean you can leave the child alone and, say, go talk on the phone or surf the internet for new shoes? :? Seriously -- does anyone here think that?

Anyway, that seat was recalled (after I stopped using mine, so I had no idea of this till now) because people were leaving the bathroom and their babies were drowning. They came out with a new model, pictured below:

Note: the "improved" model would have been absolutely NO use to me, since I needed to fit three in the tub at once.

But then these seats were also recalled. I have no idea if they came out with anything new after that; I can't find any info. But I did find this article:

http://www.keepingbabiessafe.org/recalls070705.shtml

A couple of notable quotes from the article, with my comments in italics following each:

CPSC and industry are moving too slowly to protect babies from an unsafe
product.

The product was NOT unsafe, if used as directed.

The alert from CPSC does little to keep babies safe.

Because people were ignoring it, dipshit.

Consumer groups urge caregivers not to use baby bath seats, and renew their
warning to parents and caregivers that they should never leave their baby
unattended while bathing them in a bathtub or any bath product.

That second bit would be enough.

Most of the deaths took place when the caregiver was not in the room or had left
the baby in the care of an older child.

Oh, really. Wonder why that is?

Why is the product blamed for the stupidity of the parent? Is it some sort of "s/he's suffered enough" thing? Really, I am not completely unsympathetic. But while there are truly dangerous products out there, in this case it was 100% the neglect of the caregiver who was supposed to be bathing the baby. Wouldn't it be more useful to educate the public that these were stupid mistakes, rather than blame the company and remove a perfectly good product from the market? Can we lay off the PC bullshit for once and just tell it like it is - these people LEFT their BABIES in the BATHTUB and didn't watch them. I dunno. Seems like a no brainer to me.

“To protect children from these deadly products, the CPSC must act quickly to
ban baby bath seats and recall both new and older models,” said Janell Mayo Duncan, Legislative and Regulatory Counsel for Consumers Union.

Who will protect the children from deadly parents? :