I'm not really sure what I think of those odds. I mean, I had no risk factors for triplets, and I had no risk factors for breast cancer. I'm just lucky I guess! I wonder what the lady who thinks spontaneous triplets are better than the rest would think about spontaneous breast cancer? (LOL :) ) I'd rather not worry about odds, I guess, since they haven't seemed to apply to me yet!
I have had one treatment so far. I will get them every 3 weeks. I am supposed to feel somewhat normal in between. This is Day 5 and I am still waiting for that to happen. I feel "sortof" normal but I have severe brain fog. It really reminds me of my worst hangover. Any sort of noise is not really painful, but seriously IRRITATING. Guess what - it's summer and there are 6 children in the house, so quiet is not too likely to happen around here anytime soon! So as life often goes, I have to suck it up. What else can I do? Can't live with 'em, can't shoot 'em. *shrug*
We had to cancel our planned trip to Disney. I think the kids are more upset about that than anything else. Two summers ago we were caring for my dying father in our house and our vacation consisted of a day at the water park. Last summer we had a great trip to Branson and that will have to tide them over for another year.
My biggest fear when talking to the kids about this was that they would freak out. After all, their only mental image of cancer is watching first their Grandma, then their Grandad die in their bed in our house. I think we did a good job of explaining to them how this is different - different type of cancer, different set of circumstances plus my parents opted out of treatment. So we explained how the "medicine" would make me feel and came up with a plan for getting through the summer. They seem to be taking it very well. They are really being great about pitching in around the house. But they are still loud! Can't have everything!
I am very optimistic. I am a Christian and I truly believe that God knows how many days we have before we have ever had any. I trust God completely - but I won't lie, it's scary. I found out pretty quickly that it's true what they say - chemo sucks!! I thought I would get off easy when I felt pretty good the first couple of days. WRONG! The next 2 KICKED MY ASS. But now I am not too bad if I don't overdo it and if I try to ignore the massive-hangover feeling. I'm hoping to help out at Girl Scout Day Camp next week and various other events I had committed to for the summer. If I can't - no big whoop, there is always next year.
But that's another thing I angst over - the Mommy guilt feeling of letting everyone down. I know, it's not at all rational! But there it is.
So in closing I would like to say - when you close down this page, go do a self-breast-check. EVEN IF you are not at risk. EVEN IF you breast fed all your babies which is supposed to lower your risk even further. My tumor was not found at my regular checkup 6 months ago, and it was not seen in a mammogram, yet it was 2 cm when I found it. I had no reason to do a check. I "just happened" to do one. I believe with all my heart that God told me to do one. YMMV. :)
Then go hug your babies, please. Even if you're having a bad day. Life is short and life is precious. It could be a cancerous tumor or it could be a drunk driver or it could be anything. And let me tell you, life comes at you fast! You don't always get a warning...but I got one, and while I am not planning on going anywhere anytime soon, I am planning to make the most of my time from here on in - brain fog and all.